A Dirty Secret

Once a line is crossed, you can't go back

My every waking thought was about my Gran.

I went to bed thinking about her, she was the first thing I thought about when I woke up. I thought about her at work and when I was home in the evening.

It had been four days since my fateful phone call. In that time, I had heard nothing from my gran.

The way my mother and father were behaving, indicated that they had heard nothing either. For that, I was grateful.

I was wondering if I could call her again, but use a different pseudonym. I had masturbated several times since the event. It wasn't as good as when I did it with her her.

When I eventually summoned up the courage to call again, she was not on the rota. I tried a couple more times, before giving up. I dread to think how much money I'd wasted.

This weekend, I wouldn't need an excuse not to go round. My mother and father were driving up to see his sister. I'm sure my mother was just going so she could demonstrate her superiority in all things to Auntie Nicola.

That gave me a little more time to work out what the hell I was going to do.

They left about 9 on Saturday morning. I heard them go, but I decided to stay in bed.

I had the day and the house to myself.

Laying in bed, I tried to run various scenarios through my brain. I was not content, as things had, so far, failed to play out at all like I had hoped or foreseen.

Whatever my next move would be, I knew it would likely lead to something unexpected.

I got out of bed, with purpose. First things first, I made breakfast. Whatever I was going to do, I wasn't going to do it on an empty stomach.

As I ate my toast and drank my tea, I resolved that I needed to move beyond this impasse.

I picked up the land line phone and dialled Grans' number.

It rang longer than I was expecting. I was on the verge of putting the phone down, when the receiver was raised at the other end.

"Hello." My Gran's voice on the line.

She sounded terse. Did she have something to indicate who was calling? Was she expecting a further confrontation with my mum?

"Hello Gran, it's Kenny." I began.

I didn't get much further, as she put the phone down.

I was a bit annoyed, in my mind it had taken a lot of courage to pick up the phone and call her.

I called again. This time there was no answer. I let it ring and ring and ring.

Frustrated, I slammed the receiver down and put the television on.

I must have dozed off. The cookery program I was watching had not held my attention.

I was jolted back to consciousness by the phone ringing.

The cookery programme had been replaced by a travel documentary.

In one move, l muted the tv and looked at my watch. I'd been asleep for, maybe, twenty minutes.

I picked up the phone. I didn't speak, I gave myself a second to adjust to being awake.

"Kenny?... Are you there?" Said Gran.

"Yes" I replied.

"Are you on your own?" She asked.

"Yes, I am." I said carefully, wondering what was going on.

"That's good." She continued. "We need to have a frank conversation, and it's probably better if there's no one else there to overhear."

"Mum and dad are at auntie Nicola's" I explained.

I sensed that my Gran was trying to work out the best way to say what she had to say.

"I'm glad." She sounded like she was sighing down the other end of the phone.

"We have a problem Kenny."

Interesting. I would have thought she would say that I had a problem. It was telling that she included herself in my situation.

"What problem is that?" I asked, feigning ignorance.

I could sense that she was irritated.

"You know exactly what I'm bloody well talking about." I heard her rasp down the line.

"I think you're over exaggerating gran." I said, knowing full well that this would spark another outburst.

"Listen to me very carefully." She intoned. "This is a very serious problem and we need to sort it out right now."

I took a breath, and said with more confidence than I was feeling.

"There is nothing to sort out. You do what you do, and I do what I do. Neither is anyone else's business but ours. I'm not telling anyone. You're not telling anyone. End of matter."

There was a pause, it could only have lasted a couple of seconds, but it felt like a lifetime.

"It's not the end of the matter. It's not as simple as that, and you know it." She said.

it was then that I had my genius idea.

"Come on over and we'll discuss it face to face."

There was another long pause.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Kenny. Do you?"

I couldn't believe I had suggested it. Now that I had, I thought it was a fantastic idea.

"Well, I do. I'll see you in about half an hour"

With that, I put down the phone. When she didn't ring back immediately, I knew my plan was in motion.

l turned off the television and sat on the sofa, in quiet contemplation. Trying to remain calm, and not predict how this was going to play out.

I tried not to look at the clock. In the end it lasted about ten minutes. From then on, I was checking and rechecking every couple of minutes.

Then I heard the front door bell ring.

I stood. My guts churned. I had been kidding myself that I was, in anyway, in control.

Anticipation had turned to dread as I moved down the hallway to answer the door.

It was worse than I could have imagined. Gran was there, of course. I began to wilt in her presence.

She had a stern look on her face. That wasn't what was bothering me.

It was what she was wearing.

Another one of her summer dresses. Accentuating all her curves. plump breasts, podgy tummy and curvy arse.

The white dress ended just above her knees. I knew that when she sat down, it would expose her chunky thighs.

It was topped off by a pair of white plimsoles, on her feet. Once again, they were something that a slightly younger woman would wear.

The ensemble was a little awkward, especially as it was turning me on.

"Please come in." I said nervously.

Silently, she walked past me and into the living room.

I stood there alone in the hallway, and counted to ten. I was still feeling nervous. I counted to ten again.

Girding my loins, I followed her into the living room.

She was standing, waiting for me.

I chose to sit. We were less likely to have a row if we were sitting, I reasoned.

Gran followed suit. Choosing the sofa. So that she was looking directly at me, sitting in the armchair my father usually occupied.

"Okay." Gran said.

It was followed by a long pause. I wondered if she had planned out what she wanted to say.

Now we were both in the same room, was she finding out that it wasn't as easy as she thought it would be?

I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, so I said.

"Well, this is a bit awkward isn't it?"

"More than a bit, Kenny."

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you Gran "

"I'm not so much embarrassed, as worried about you Kenny. Whatever were you thinking?"

Fortunately, this,at least, was something I had expected from her.

"I was thinking..." I began. Taking a big breath.

"That it is so great that you embraced doing something so out there, so unlike you that I kinda got wrapped up in it."

She was looking at me intently. There were no giveaway signs on her face, or in her body language.

"I'm sorry if I ruined your thing. That wasn't my intention."

"So, why were you mocking me?"

I was confused.

"I wasn't." I said.

"Then you've got some serious issues, my boy " She said.

"Men have called me with some peculiar stuff, but you take the biscuit."

"Sorry.." I said.

I didn't mean it, and what's more, she didn't believe it either.

"What is going on in your head, boy?"

I didn't reply. I didn't know what to say to these direct questions.

I mean, I knew what I was thinking. However, under her withering gaze I was folding.

"Those things you said. What you wanted to do with me...to me,"

She took a deep breath.

"They are." She was struggling to find the right expression. "Deplorable."

I closed my eyes, reeling from the rebuke.

"I hear that from men all the time."

"And, it doesn't bother you?" I asked.

i could hear my voice cracking.

"It doesn't bother me when strangers do it. When it's my own grandson,that's when it causes me issues."

I could feel my heart beating rapidly.

"I'm not sure if I'm feeling disgust or shock."

"Sorry." I repeated.

"Stop saying that." Gran said. "Stop saying that, because I don't believe you."

She could read me like book.

"You'd have sex with me right now given half a chance,"

I was broken. I could not deny it. I was starting to get an erection. I wanted her to tell me I was a pervert as she smothered me with her large breasts. Tell me what we were doing was wrong, and a sin, even as she was sliding herself onto my cock.

I adjusted my sitting position. Trying not to draw attention to the bulge pressing against my jogging bottoms.

Had she seen? I wasn't sure.

Maybe she had, as she declared.

"I really don't know what to do. This was a mistake. I shouldn't have come here."

She got up.

"I thought, if I looked you in the eye, make you see reason. I could put a stop to this."

She shook her head.

Unfortunately, this is only heading in one direction and it's going to cause trouble."

I was staring at the floor between my legs. I didn't look up as she left the room. I just sat there in silence as I heard the door slam.

She was probably right. Once I was sure she wasn't coming back, I removed my bottoms and masturbated furiously.

I could still smell her perfume in the room and I ejaculated thinking about her body, heavily scented and sweating with the exertions of making love to me.

As the streams of spunk shot out, i was screaming out.

"Bunty, Bunty, Bunty." over and over again.

I didn't feel like going out that evening. So, for the first time in ages, I found myself watching Saturday night TV with my parents.

Nothing much was said about their excursion. Mum was a bit subdued.

I wondered if Nicola had some new gadget or item of clothing that she was jealous of. Dad was also quiet. Par for the course.

We sat in silence, watching some terrible gameshow.

Truth be told, I doubt any of us was actually paying attention. It just meant we could avoid speaking to each other.

I think all three of us were surprised when the landline rang.

As was customary, my mother picked up the phone.

My father turned the sound on the TV down, and asked me to get him another beer from the fridge.

I got up, thinking to myself that he was drinking a lot more lately.

I had only been gone a few minutes. Taking the opportunity to make myself a snack.

,"Here he is, now." Mum said, as soon as I stepped back into the room.

She thrust the phone in my general direction. Barely looking at me.

"Gran wants to speak to you."

I took the outstretched handset from my mother, taking a seat to next to her on the sofa.

I wasn't too happy about that. I wasn't sure if she would be able to hear both ends of the conversation.

"Hi Gran.' l began. Trying to sound casual and relaxed.

"Hello Kenny." She said, sounding somewhat subdued.

'I did ask for you, but I had to go through the Spanish inquisition first"

I glanced at mum, who was pretending she had no interest in the call.

She was doing a terrible job. God, how I despised her sometimes.

"The reason I called, was to apologize for what I said this morning."

She was speaking softly. I could just about hear her, I felt confident that mum, no matter how hard she tried, was not going to hear a thing.

"That's okay." I said, neutrally.

"Is that nosey daughter of mine, trying to eavesdrop?"

"Of course." I replied.

"I didn't tell her why I wanted to speak to you."

I had gathered that, from the quizzical looks I was getting.

"I would suggest you go somewhere private, but knowing you, you're probably enjoying winding her up."

She was bang on the money there. I could see that every ambiguous answer was driving my mother crazy.

"No, it's fine." Was my answer.

"Well, it's on you, if you want to live dangerously."

"I've had a bit of practice lately." I said.

Yes, you have." She said, sternly. "We need to see about getting you some help."

"How do you mean?" I said. Trying to sound as vague as I could.

"You know full well," She responded. "You have some serious issues that need to be addressed,"

"I don't think there's a problem." I replied.

"I do. It's not natural." She said.

"Who's to say?"

I could see my mother, out of the corner of my eye. Eager to know what we were talking about. My dad, content with his own thoughts, sipping his beer.

"I say." Gran continued.

I've done nothing but think about it all day, and it needs addressing immediately." She said.

"No, I don't think so" I said

I put my hand over the receiver, and mouthed to my mother

"Laptop problems."

My mother rolled her eyes. Probably because she knew nothing about computers, So, would be denied an opportunity to meddle.

"I'm going to have to go to my room and look on my laptop." I said.

"Don't you want your parents to hear?" Gran asked.

"That's right." I replied. "I'll call you from my mobile, in a few minutes."

I got up. I was conscious that, despite being dressed down, speaking to Gran was giving me stirrings in my groin.

Fortunately, I was able to reach the living room door as my cock began to rise.

I climbed the stairs, hornier than I had ever felt.

As I mounted the stairs, I rang her number.

"Yes." She said, answering promptly this time.

"Bear With me, I'm just going to my room."

I entered, making sure I closed the door.

"I'm just starting up my laptop."" I explained.

"Why? That's what you told your parents."

Gran seemed confused. Maybe I was playing into her idea that I was not all there, mentally.

I wasn't. As usual, I was trying to stay three steps ahead.

"I'm opening up my laptop, in the event of my ever nosey mother not being able to contain herself, and popping her head around the door."

It was extremely unlikely, but I always like to prepared.

"Good thinking." Gran said.

My stomach was churning. I was terrified. I was horny. I needed to get my cock out.

Years of practice at masterbating, with both parents in the house, meant I was an expert in this.

Erect cock in my right hand, phone in my left, I rejoined the conversation.

"Sorry about that Gran. You now have my complete attention. Now, what were you saying?"

"I was saying that you need to get some help. These desires you have are not normal."

I sighed, so loudly. She definitely heard it

"Listen Gran. We're going round and round in circles. You've said something like that already."

"You do understand that, don't you Kenny?"

Her tone was neutral.

"What about you Gran?" I asked.

"Are you going to seek help for your pecadilos too?"

She did not answer.

"Are you going to do something about your urges to talk filth, especially with really young guys?"

Silence, for a moment. Then she replied.

"The difference between us is, what I like isn't illegal."

"It's a victimless crime." I said, matteroffactly.

"To you, maybe. How do you think I feel Kenny? Do you think I should be flattered?"

That hit me. Up to this point, what gran thought, hadn't really occurred to me at all.

"Tell me." I said. "Tell me what you really feel."

"I feel dirty...I feel grubby...I feel ashamed."

I had been idly stroking my cock, since I'd sat down. It was throbbing, and I was so horny. What she said though, was like being dowsed in ice cold water.

Your such a lovely boy, Kenny. My favorite grandson and I feel so ashamed."

She went quiet. For a moment I thought she'd hung up.

"I am so ashamed Kenny." She repeated. "I'm ashamed of what you want to do to me. I'm more ashamed that I want you to do it to me too."

She tailed off again. The silence dragged I was dumbfounded.

Eventually I blurted out the only thing I could say.

"I'm sorry, what?"

I could hear her breath down the line.

"You heard me all right. I feel ashamed and dirty, that I've thought about fucking you as much as you've thought about fucking me."

I doubted that.

"I've been thinking about this all day." She said.

"Weighing up the pros and cons."

"And, what are they?" I asked.

I had become so intrigued, I stopped stroking my cock, and gave this conversation my full attention.

"The pros... I think we both know. It's the cons that concern me."

We were on the same page, regarding the pros then.

"It will change the nature of our relationship." I said.

"Exactly."

"That's not a bad thing, in and of itself." I said.

It was funny. Talking so mundanely, about something so serious.

"It's your nosey mother that bothers me.: She's bound to notice any subtle difference in the way we act towards each other."

"What's she going to say?" I asked.

"She might suspect something is up. But, I don't think she would ever guess correctly."

I could imagine Gran mulling it over.

"Let's hope so Kenny. Let's hope so."

Time to get things back on track.

"So, what happens know?" I asked.

"Well, I'm sitting here in my kitchen, in my house coat. It's open. If you could see me, you'd see that I have nothing on underneath. My breasts are exposed and my nipples are starting to get firm."

Another handbrake turn.

That was okay. I was fully onboard.

"I bet you'd like to see my big floppy tits, wouldn't you Kenny?" She murmured seductively

I said that I would.

"Would you like to hold them, squeeze them and fondle them?"

Again, I said I would.

I was loving it and willing to be led wherever Gran was taking me.

"I'm cupping them now, Kenny. My nipples are so firm to the touch. So sensitive. I wish you were here, to suck on them."

She began to moan. It was a gentle, subtle one, as opposed to the over the top moans I was used to hearing.

My hands are on my big belly now. I'm moving them down to my cunt. I have big lips and a hairy bush. I'm spreading my legs now, so if you were here, you could get an eyeful."

It sounded like her phone sex routine, and I was loving it.

"I want to lick your cunt." I blurted out.

She moaned again, as she said.

Ooh I'd like that Kenny. I'd part my lips so you could see how pink and wet I am. Ready for you to taste me."

It was my turn to moan. "Oh, gran.

"Call me Bunty, babe Call me Bunty as you lick my cunt,"

"I will." I promised.

I followed it up with. "I'm coming over to see you.. right now."

"Hurry." She said. "Before I come to my senses, and I change my mind."

I didn't change. I didn't shower. I probably should have, but I couldn't wait.

I headed downstairs. Praying that my parents didn't pay too close attention to my trousers.

It didn't matter what I thought about. I couldn't rid myself of my erection.

"I thought you weren't going out tonight?"

It was an attempt by mother to be subtle. As per usual, it was delivered with all the subtly of a sledgehammer.

I wondered if I should lie, and say I was off down the pub. Or keep it simple and tell the truth.

It was amazing how quick the lie came out of my mouth.

"Yes, I didn't think I fancied it. Changed my mind."

I didn't give her a chance to interrogate me further. Checking I had my keys and wallet. I closed the door behind me, and strode purposefully to Gran's house.