A Day to Remember

My mom died a year ago today. Cancer...its never an easy battle, and it hurts sometimes to think of her in those hospital beds... breathing so shallow. I guess I was glad for her to find peace... But that day changed my life and the lives of all the family left behind...

One year ago:

" I can take care of these, Paul, just go sit down," I shuffled my stepfather out of the room, his puttering around in the kitchen only making it harder to concentrate.

"Darling I want to help, I cant sit in there and hear any more condolences," his hands started to shake so hard I thought he'd drop the pie he was carrying.

"Oh shit! We left Nikki in there alone!" I rushed into the other room and got my 12 year old sister out of the embrace of family telling her how her mom was so happy in heaven now. Walking back into the kitchen, I hear glass breaking.... "Nikki, for the love of all things holy get dad out of here..." I lean down and clean up the glass, putting my head at eye level with my dads pants. "Oh my god," I thought, " His pants are on inside out."

I grabbed him by the hand and drug him back into my parents room. "I'm staying here for a couple of weeks, Paul," I say as I start taking his pants off or him.

"What the hell are you doing!"he exclaimed. "Just look Paul, you put your pants on inside out. I know you miss my mom but really? How can you take care of Nikki like this," at that comment I had a thought, " Oh god we aren't your problem anymore." I sat down in the chair by their bed and started to cry. What would I do with my little sister? I couldn't move her into my little one room apartment. "I...I.." I kept babbling and crying, my step father sitting down beside me, looking confused,

"Baby what wrong? What did you mean by "my problem"?" The light came on in his grief struck eyes, "Oh god baby no! You girls are my life, I've been your father since you were 6 years old and Nikki was still in diapers! I'm not going to leave you guys!" he exclaimed holding me close as I sat there and cried, crying out the pain of losing my mom little by little over months, sat there crying as I had when I skinned my knee or got dumped or a thousand other little things time and time again.

I turned in his arms to let him hold me and felt a familiar thickness brush against my back through my thin lack dress. I caught my breath, turning to look, even knowing what had pressed so hard against me.

Looking down Paul began to stammer, " Oh baby, I'm so sorry, I just haven't been home to even...never mind you don't need to know that, It was just a reaction on my bodies part..." He stood up and rushed into the bathroom, as I sat there a little shocked but also curious. I mean I had a steady boyfriend until recently and of course at eighteen we had done plenty but Paul's penis (why the hell was I thinking about my stepfather's penis??) looked huge compared to his.

The rest of the wake went off without incident and Nikki turned in earlier, burying her mom being too much for her to comprehend fully at twelve. I tucked her in as she picked at me about that she hadn't needed tucking in since she was six. I sat down with her and talked about everything, telling her that I would be staying for a few months to make sure she didn't starve from Paul's cooking. Closing the door behind myself, I walked back into the kitchen to Paul pouring two glasses of wine. Jokingly I scowled at him, "Umm Paul, I'm 18, that isn't legal...."

Laughing he picked up one of the glasses and handed it to me. "A toast to a beautiful woman survived by two lovely daughters..." He paused, "You sure resemble your mom Danielle, did you know that?"

Giggling, I took a long gulp of my drink, "Paul, I don't look like Mom, her boobs were so much bigger," I stood stretching to show them off in my little t-shirt, "Plus, She had those beautiful curls that Nikki got." I tossed my straight brown hair.

"Your still beautiful hunny, Don is a lucky boy, and I know your mom was trying to let you start calling us by our given names but please call me Daddy like you use to... Makes me feel weird to hear you call me Paul."

I looked up as he pulled another bottle down and refilled my glass. "Okay Daddy..."

Three bottles of red wine, and a lot of reminiscence, later we went to our respective bedrooms. Giggling, I thought of following him, seeing that bulge that I had glimpsed as he moved around while we were drinking, that I had felt harden against my back as he held me. I stopped myself though and went off to my old bedroom, drawing back the curtain on the canopy bed I had begged for at fourteen.

As I lay back on my bed, I thought of the man who'd raised me, and heaven save me, my hands traveled down my body, twisting my nipples, thinking of my father's mouth on them, wondering if he liked biting. I lay there moaning thinking about his body (I'd seen in enough on beach vacations), imagining him above me and as I moved my other hand down to my crotch I imagined that thick bulge pressing against me. Licking my fingers, I shoved two deep into my pussy, biting at my hand to stop myself from screaming in ecstasy, moaning as I brought myself again and again. As my body calmed, I lay there and imagined him holding me ask I drifted off to sleep. "You're such a good little girl Danny," I remember hearing those words time and time again, and giggled. "Oh if he could know what I was thinking right now" I thought. I drifted off imagining turning over and rubbing my hand against him in that big sleigh bed in his room, "Daddy fuck your little girl again please?"

To be continued....