It was a dark night, rain was coming down in an absurd amount and my stupid self was driving in this mess. Why? Well, that would be because of my mother. After my father died in a car accident a few years ago my mother absolutely refused to drive herself anymore, which meant me or one of my sisters had to take her everywhere. At some point a few months ago, and after being hassled relentlessly by yours truly, she started dating again. She wasn't into it very much emotionally, although she did meet some pretty nice guys now and then, she mostly just had meaningless sex on the first date then bail after that, after all it had been several years since her husband was around to give it to her.
Anyway, late at night, close to midnight, I received a call from my mother. After some well-placed profanities I finally pieced together that the guy she met was supposedly checking out other women, she got mad and left him. We live in a decent city, but public transportation is pretty much dead at this time of the night. He was supposed to be her ride home and now that she left obviously that wasn't going to happen. "So, what do you want me to do about it? I'm not going to go kick his ass for you."
"Of course not sweetie, I just need a ride."
"Seriously, mom? It's Friday night, my buddies Jeremy and Ryan are here hangin' out. I can't bail on them." Obviously not true, but I figured I may as well try to score some sympathy points I can redeem later when I need something or get into trouble.
"I'm sorry, but that asshole drove me all the way over to Luigi's, I can't walk home, and it's like 15 miles."
"Fine, fine. But remember, you totally owe me for this."
"I know, thanks, I love you."
"Love you too, mom."
Seeing as how it was my day of I never bothered to really get dressed. Now that I had to go somewhere I threw on some pajama pants and off I went. On my pathetic Friday night I am called to pick up my mother from her equally pathetic love life. As I slink out to my car I notice some pretty ominously dark clouds some distance off. Hopefully I can make it back before it starts pouring, and even more important that those clouds don't know out the power, gotta get my porn somehow after all.
After braving the cold, dark and damp night I arrive and see my mother sitting on a bench outside. Casually I drive up, roll down my window and, as non-corny as I can say, "Hey there beautiful. Why you sittin' there all alone?"
For a woman in her early 40's she was quite attractive. Although not huge her 38 C's were quite impressive, and hardly sagged at all, her ass wasn't model quality, yet it was still decently firm. She looked up and chuckles when she sees my face. "Waiting for my gorgeous son...have you seen him anywhere?"
"Ouch, mom, that stings. Hurry and get in before you get wet." She jumps up, pulling down her incredibly short dress, and hopped into the passenger seat.
The next few minutes were unsurprisingly quiet. My mother and I don't chit chat a whole lot. At least it was quiet until the rain started, and by started I mean seriously came down hard. My mother just had to keep chiming in being a backseat driver. "Watch out for that puddle," and "slow down," and of course "where did you learn to driver?"
I was getting seriously frustrated at her and looked her straight in the eyes. "Look, I'm a pretty decent driver, and it's more distracting with you trying to correct every mistake than anything. Just please stop trying toβ"
My mother interrupted me and shouted, "dog!"
I swerved, barely missing the ragged looking thing. In the course of doing so my car began to slide sideways on the soaked pavement. I had no control over my car. After what felt like an eternity we came to a stop when my car slammed into a guard rail on the side of a short drop. I'm still not sure if my car weakened it, or the rain had made the dirt too soft or both, but suddenly my mother, my car and I began rolling down the cliff. If before felt like an eternity then I don't know how to describe this feeling. Mere moments are feeling my car slam into the ground at the bottom of the hill my vision blurred and I slowly drifted off.
"Colin! Colin! Wake up, Colin!" I heard as I slowly began to open my eyes. Apparently my mother had not worn her seat belt and somehow had managed to land on top of me, still buckled in, and pinned due to the roof being partially crushed. "Colin, honey, are you ok?"
"I felt like a ton of bricks had landed on my, but don't feel like anything's broken." I glanced around. There was nothing. No other cars around, no lights pointing to signs of life, nothing. In fact the only light came from the headlights still casting their beams on nearby trees.
"Good, good. Can you move? Where's your phone? We gotta get out of here," my mother was acting frantic.