"My god, I can't get over her ass. I have dreams of that perfect ass. Seriously."
Rob Wienie and Henry Pecker were sharing a pitcher of beer at Hattie McRabbit's, a popular bar near campus, and naturally Rob was staring at the barkeep Rosie. He wore a moony look on his freckled face and a steely erection in his pants that he tried to adjust surreptitiously.
Henry laughed and shook his head, but turned to look anyway. Over the past two years he'd spent many hours studying Rosie's impressive body as she bounced and swayed among the tables and at this point it was a college pastime. Rosie was a lovely statuesque woman in her mid-30s, and the reason the bar was so popular with students and townies alike. She was flirty and confident, and her personality oozed sex just as much as her incredible body. She had olive skin and shiny black hair that hung in waves across her shoulders and framed her strong but beautiful face. Tonight she wore a blousy peasant shirt that was loosely laced at the bust, and her full cantaloupe-sized breasts bounced and jiggled within. Whenever she leaned over, her tan and glistening cleavage strained against the parted cloth. Her skirt was swishy at the bottom but tight on top, so it hugged her ass like a second skin. Indeed, when she turned and cocked her hip, loading a tray with dirty dishes, Henry was able to watch her buttocks grind against each other like two great smooth boulders.
"She's got no obvious panty-line," Henry mused. "I wonder if she's wearing a thong, or maybe nothing at all."
Rob groaned like a rutting animal, and Henry snapped his fingers. "Hey, hey, let's stay focused. It sounds like I missed the best thing to happen this year and I need details, man."
Rob shook his head to clear it and took a long pull from his mug. "Sure, sure. So, you know how Professor Cummbiche accused Priss of stealing from her private potion storeroom last week? Even though she denied it, Cummbiche gave her detention for a month. Well, Duff was so pissed at her about it that he tried to fuck Cummbiche in the ass."
"WHAT?" Henry spit some beer down his chin, and his mouth stood agape. Priss Pumpington and Duff Maldick were a match made in blonde and bratty rich kid heaven and they were never apart. Henry was pretty sure that any revenge Duff took on the professor had been Priss's idea too, but even for a piece of shit like Maldick that was too far.
"Yeah, I know. While the rest of us were working on a healing potion, he whipped it out under his table, did the spell and started working his prick into her. She was sitting at her desk at the front of the room, and the rest of us didn't even know something was up until she started making these strange noises. I remember she made some kind of grunt and someone asked if she was OK. She said she was fine, but said it kind of strained, you know? Then a minute later she puts her palms flat on the desk and starts huffing and puffing. I watched her because she was acting so weird, and I swear I thought she was diddling herself somehow. Sweat was running down her face, her cheeks were all flushed, and she was making this whimpering noise in her throat. Then she came."
"WHAT??" Henry choked, and Rob waited for him to stop coughing before he continued.
"Yeah, I don't think Duff expected her to enjoy it so much. She came hard, started screaming 'Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes'. She started thrashing, tipped her chair back and fell out of it."
"And that's how Duff's dick got cut off," Henry finished.
"Exactly. The small portal he was using broke, severing his dick, and he started screaming. We all saw the stump when he stood up. It wasn't bloody or anything, just covered up with flesh as though he never had a dick. He ran all the way to the nurse with his pants open. Evan Turcotte works in the office right next to the infirmary and said that Cummbiche showed up about ten minutes later, handed the nurse something in a paper bag."
Henry chuckled. "That had to be awkward. But, I'm sure the nurse could put it right back on. I mean, I shattered every bone in my body when I fell from that window in the girls tower last year, and she had me fixed up in a day."
Rob nodded. "Yeah, but as soon as the administration sorts it all out, the OK Split's going on magical lockdown."
They both gave this idea a moment of silence. They knew once that happened, any use of the spell anywhere would immediately draw administrative attention, and lead to expulsion.
"Damn, I'm going to miss it." Henry said. "Violet's crazy about being secretly fucked in public, the little exhibitionist."
"I still can't believe you screwed her while she was giving that demonstration to the visiting parents-including HER parents!"
Henry shrugged, but his grin said it all. "She demanded it. God, I'm so lucky."
"Well, the OK Split had a good run," Rob sighed, and they clicked their mugs together in a toast.
"Violet Greene?" Rosie asked, suddenly next to their table. "I didn't realize that cute little chick was so damn kinky. I might need to know her better."
Henry and Rob were both stunned to find out that they'd been overheard, and didn't know what to say next. Luckily Rosie was distracted by her own thoughts: her naturally shadowed eyes had gotten a far-away look, and she bit her lower lip just a little. The boys had heard that she enjoyed the company of women as well as men, and both mentally noted this as a suspicion confirmed.
Rosie shook her head and grinned at them. "Anyway. Were you guys talking about that spell people have been having so much fun with? The OK Split?"
They both looked at each other, which was confirmation enough, but Rosie was patient. Finally Henry said, "Yeah, we've heard some stories about it."
Rosie winked knowingly. "Heard stories, huh? OK. I've heard some too and I gotta say, they really turned me on."
"Oh yeah?" Henry asked, seeing that Rob had to pick his jaw off the floor.
"Oh yeah. Henry, it sounds like you're pretty worn out from all that wild sex with Violet, but Rob...would you like to fuck me?"