Why are wizards so horny? Contrary to popular belief in the non-magical communities of the world, the word "wizard" isn't a gender-specific term. Male, female and non-binary magic users are all colloquially referred to as "wizard". Likewise, all male, female and non-binary magic users are, for the most part, very horny.
It's more than just a stereotype. In fact, rigorous scientific studies have been carried out over the years, to the mutual delight of all participants (not just blind and double-blind but bound and magically-bound). They've all conclusively proven an increase in libido, with measurable spikes in hormone levels and mucous-membrane lubrication, in the presence of magic. What they haven't proven is WHY. Of course, desire and sexual attraction are where science meets the human heart, which is also where magical ability resides.
No matter the explanation, wizards old and young are more active and open with their sexuality, leading to more relaxed views on monogamy, consent and the Kinsey scale. This is also why it's so surprising to find a wizard, especially one in her sophomore year of college, as disinterested in and oblivious to matters of sex as "Loopy" Lucy Goodsnatch seemed to be. And that's why Frank and Greg Weinie, twin brothers and Seniors at Wizard College, had become so enamored with this enigmatic coed.
She transferred with the start of the new school year, having recently moved to the states with her father. Apparently he was some kind of diplomat, and an infamous eccentric. Lucy was unique in her own right, with her light purple hair and bizarre conspiracy theories. Add her strange way of talking, as if she was always describing a dream that she couldn't quite remember, and the other students quickly dubbed her "Loopy".
She was a real beauty, though: tall and lithe with sleepy eyes and pouty lips. Her fashion sense was quite odd, somewhere between a hippy and a homeless man. She was always wearing something a little too out of fashion or the wrong size, but she always made it look good--especially when the clothes hung off her freckled shoulders, revealed a startling amount of leg, or showed the bounce of her small tits and prominent nipples. The girl never wore a bra.
The twins quickly took notice of her and by the time the holidays drew near they were positively obsessed. When the snow started flying, she took to wearing oversized coats around campus. This took all the fun out of their leering, so Frank and Greg finally escalated from admiration to pursuit. The twins wished each other luck and sought out opportunities to engage her in person.
Frank found her reading a book by herself in the cafe and bought her a hot chocolate. They talked for the better part of an hour and Frank learned more about the insidious activities of the jellybean industry than he'd ever thought possible.
Greg caught up with her at the art gallery and soon she was whispering to him about how the paintings moved when you weren't looking.
"But...they move when you ARE looking." He gestured to the portrait of a war general before them, who shifted and scratched his nose.
"I know that, silly," she sighed. "But I'm telling you, they move when we're NOT looking too."
When the brothers compared notes, they agreed that she was just as weird as they'd heard and, despite being single, she seemed uninterested in dating. They had both struck out, but their interest only grew.
They pestered their younger brother Rob, who was also a sophomore, for information. He was friends with her but couldn't answer many of their questions because she was, for all intents and purposes, kind of unknowable. He said she was nice but a space cadet, worked well with others but seemed to forget conversations immediately, and somehow got fantastic grades.
"She's not dumb," Rob expounded. "Just...I don't know...gullible? She believes some crazy stuff, always talking about some invisible creature or magical ailment that's taking over the government or destroying society."
"She's got a boyfriend?" Frank asked.
Rob shook his head. "I don't think so."
"She likes girls?"
Rob shook his head again. "Not that I know."
"What, she's doesn't fuck? Is she a prude?" He clutched his chest dramatically. "Or...GASP...religious?"
"No, she just...isn't like that I guess." Rob shrugged. "Maybe she's not interested."
"Paranoid and asexual, huh? So like, if I told her that her clothes are full of ghosts, she might strip down?" Greg quipped.
Rob snorted and shook his head, while Frank seriously considered his twin's suggestion. The germ of a plan, a very naughty plan, had planted itself in his mind, and it came to fruition less than two weeks later.
***
There were campus parties every Saturday night at Wizard College, but the weekend before winter break was especially exciting. Not only was it the start of the holidays and the official end of Final Exams week, but it was the last chance for alcohol-fueled debauchery before everyone went home to their families. That was why the frats and sororities all got together to throw one big bash, The Winter Warlock Dance.
It was great to have a holiday event where all the cliques and classes could come together, and by the end of the night many would be stumbling home through the snow in pairs or groups to cum together. Remember, wizards are horny.
Frank and Greg Weinie brought dates to the dance, but only for comedic value. That might sound cruel, but the ladies were made of snow. They had built two snow women out on the lawn, each with two snowballs stuck to her chest, and used a simple charm to make them mobile. It was a good laugh for a while, and got the red-headed brothers a great deal of attention as they led their dates around the dance floor and pretended to make out with them. But soon enough their lips were numb, they were getting hassled about the puddles, and their women were looking anorexic. So they took the melting maidens outside and let them fall to pieces, much to the dismay of their friend Lev Jackson.
"Aw, man," he whined drunkenly. "I was hopin' one of you would share. I wanted to give 'em my carrot." He humped the air sadly.
Frank patted his shoulder. "Sorry, man, but they were just frigid."
"Yeah," added Greg. "A real pair of ice queens, these two."
"Here," Frank scooped up the top snowball from his lady, with two pieces of charcoal for eyes and a smaller ring of fragments forming an "O" of a mouth. "Get some head, our Eskimo brother."
All three were giggling when Lucy Goodsnatch descended the steps and headed off toward her dorm. She was wearing an oversized Christmas sweater, thick and about thirty different colors of ugly, over a pair of skin-tight jeans. She hugged her body as thick snowflakes stuck to her long purple hair..
Frank grinned and elbowed his brother. "Whadya say we take another run at that...together?"
