The officer spoke without looking up from her tablet.
"Though we don't foresee a need for either of you to testify again; due to the nature of this case and your knowledge of the Gorlami crime family, it's best to keep you two together in the protection program. Does that sound okay to you?"
Julio slapped me on that back and laughed. "Do you hear that, Antonio? The
family
gets to stay together after all!"
Julio and I have been running on the streets for Don Gorlami since we met in high school - that is: until everything went south. Our getting to stay together was probably the best news we've heard in the last two years.
We were both beaming ear-to-ear as the officer made some adjustments on her tablet.
"Wonderful. In that case, I'm setting the diagnostic to DUAL PROFILE and the audio to the room speakers in front of you. The nurses are now injecting you with the nanites. They should come online in a few seconds. As part of the Witness Transition Process, you will be prompted by the diagnostic, asked some questions, etc. While some questions may seem irrelevant, keep in mind this is an important part of the process. Take your time and please be cooperative. All right, guys. Good luck! I will step into the observation chamber and see you both after your transition."
"Bye!" we both said in unison, still amped up from the news. In less than a minute a melodious, albeit robotic, woman's voice came through the speakers in front of us.
HAVE YOU AGREED TO THE TERMS OF SERVICE?
"We sure have! Haven't we, Antonio?" Julio punched me in the arm.
"Damn it, Julio! You hit me right where she gave me the fucking shot."
"Ha! Sorry, pal. Hopefully, you'll toughen up in the transition." I rolled my eyes, holding my smarting arm, and chuckled.
YOUR TERMS OF SERVICE AGREEMENTS HAVE BEEN LOGGED. THE RANDOM IDENTITY SELECTION PROCESS HAS BEGUN. SINCE YOU ARE BEING PLACED UNDER PROTECTION TOGETHER, A DUAL IDENTITY PROFILE WILL NOW BE SELECTED AT RANDOM.
"Oh man, it's time to find out who we gonna be, Antonio! Who we gonna be?!" Julio always talked a mile a minute. I, however, now at the end of a failed life of crime and on the edge of finding out who I would be for the rest of my life, sat nervously twiddling my fingers.
JULIO: YOUR NEW NAME IS ROBERT MORINI.
Julio cracked up laughing. "Do you hear that, Antonio? I'm still Italian! Woo hoo!"
AND ANTONIO: YOUR NEW NAME IS ALYONA MORINI.
"Robert and Alan Morini! Hell yeah, Antonio! We're finally brothers!" He wrapped one big arm around me and gave me a hug and we laughed together. But after a moment I realized something didn't sit right about my first name.
"Uh, Diagnostic. Can I ask you a question?"
CERTAINLY, ALYONA.
"Alan-ya? Is that an Italian name?"
NO. IT IS A RUSSIAN NAME. YOUR NEW IDENTITY PROFILES HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFULLY INSTALLED AND WILL COMMENCE OPERATION OVER THE NEXT FEW MINUTES. MY NEXT TASK IS TO CONFIGURE YOUR BODIES TO THE SPECIFICATIONS SET BY YOUR RANDOM PROFILES. LET'S TALK WHILE I ADJUST YOUR PHYSICAL AND MENTAL CHARACTERISTICS. YOU FIRST, ALYONA. TELL ME: WHAT IS ROBERTS MORNING ROUTINE?
A strange rumbling had begun to grow low in my tummy. A heat. It radiated from my pelvis and seemed to collect in my hip bones. When my heart beat a dull pain shot into my balls. Every beat they felt tighter and tighter. And higher and higher.
"Robert's morning routine?" How would I fucking know?
YES, ALYONA: WHAT IS ROBERT'S MORNING ROUTINE IN YOUR NEW LIFE? THINK.
I sneered at the mundane question for a moment, but then remembered what the officer said. The words came to me in an instant and I spoke. "Robert works from home. He is a very rich venture capitalist with lots of help. Most mornings he sleeps in."
VERY GOOD, ALYONA.
"Yeah! Great job Alan! And I'm rich, too!" I grabbed my arm again, annoyed. I knew he was Julio, but for some reason, I could only think about how I wished Robert would stop hitting my sore arm.
AND HOW DO YOU SPEND YOUR MORNINGS, ALYONA?
I sighed. "Well. I go downstairs. I make coffee. I turn on TV to morning show with my favorite news people. Then I read paper. I sip coffee until it is time to wake up my Robert."
Julio started laughing. "Ha! Antonio, why the fuck are you talking like that? Stop cutting up! You must be the weird sibling. HAHA!"
"Shut up, Robert!" I growled at Julio and then looked at the speakers. "Ms. Computer. Please tell. Why do I sound this way?"
In an instant my w's had changed to v's. My voice came out in only broken English in a foreign sing-song rhythm. I pouted my lip and put my hand on my hips. I knew this was highly peculiar, yet my ability to communicate this had been suddenly cut off. I coughed three times to clear the frog out of my throat, but with each cough, the timbre of my voice only increased in pitch. My voice cracked.
"Why is my voice so very weird now? And so very high!?"
YOUR PERSONALITY PROFILE HAS BEEN UPDATED ALYONA. YOU ARE RUSSIAN. BUT THIS IS ONLY ONE OF BILLIONS OF PERSONAL TRAITS AND CHARACTERISTICS. ALL OF YOUR RESPONSES WILL BE FILTERED THROUGH THESE SPECIFICATIONS FOR YOUR SAFETY. WE CANNOT RISK YOU EXPOSING YOUR IDENTITY AND PUTTING YOUR LIFE AND ROBERT'S AT RISK. DO NOT WORRY. THESE RESTRICTIONS WILL ONLY BE IN PLACE UNTIL YOU ALIGN YOURSELF TO YOUR NEW IDENTITY.
"But how long will that take?"
I THINK IN YOUR CASE, IT WON'T TAKE VERY LONG AT ALL. I AM FINDING YOUR BODY AND MIND TO BE EXTREMELY COMPLIANT AND PLIABLE. NOW MAY WE CONTINUE?
God, my body felt like it was on fire. I bit my lip and looked at Julio. He smiled back. "Yeah, relax Alan! Answer these questions so we can blow this police department and bro around our new place."
When did Julio get so handsome? Was it because he was starting to look more and more like the new vision of Robert that was building in my mind? I finally forced myself to look away, butterflies and doubt filling my tightening tummy. Hopefully I was starting to look just as handsome.
NOW MAY WE CONTINUE?
"Yes. Okay. We can continue now."
GOOD, ALYONA. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP ROBERT?
"I make new pot of coffee. Robert does not like stale pot. He likes fresh. Then I pour him a big, big mug of black coffee and I take coffee to him upstairs."
Julio butted in. "Oh man. You're going to bring me coffee in the morning now? I like the sound of this!"
I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, only to be met with the sensation of a small pillow under my forearms. A pillow that was growing inside my t-shirt.