Warning: This one is experimental and changes perspectives and breaks the fourth wall. Everyone consents to everything, but they tend to bitch about it. Bitching about stuff is healthy, sometimes. Changing perspectives can be tricky and I haven't done it before, so please be patient.
What Dreams May Come -- Ch 08
(throat clearing) You will forgive my assumption of the narrative role at this juncture, but as our stories diverged at the conclusion of the previous chapter in this series, it became literarily difficult to have Cowboy recount scenes to which he was not privy and apparently such literary challenge is beyond the talents of our "author." To be honest, I was outvoted in the choice of LingeringAfterthought as our group biographer. In my view, they play far too many fictional empire-building application games of tenuous merit, and not enough time documenting the precise details of—
Oh my God, you're still pissed that I uploaded "Game of Sultans," aren't you? There's no way you're taking over the storytelling, Sir. These people want the sex scenes that were left out of the last chapter. I mean, please! Mantha could tell it better! You'll make having sex sound like IKEA instructions or something. (imitating Simon) "He mounted her base assembly and inserted his bolt into—" (muffled noises)
I find your lack of faith... disturbing, Rose. You thoroughly enjoyed the bedtime story my tongue told you last night, did you not?
I um... that was... there was... um... something in my mouth most of the time, but that was... um... yeah.
Exactly. As I was saying...
No. I'm sorry, but the readers like my voice better. Look at the ratings!
The chapter in my voice currently stands at a respectable 4.75.
And mine is at 5. FIVE, Sir. I am empirically the sexier narrarator.
(Sighing noise) I believe you mean 'narrator,' Little One. A narrator narrates a story.
Sir, you know that grammar stuff doesn't get anyone else hot except me, right? Now hold still, I'm gonna narrarate the fuck out of this thing.
Into it.
What?
You are going to narrate the fuck *into* the story, yes? There was an appalling lack of lovemaking in the previous chapter, and now you are going to provide the deprived and depraved readers insight into the coupling that happened outside of the purview of the previous narrator. You are going to narrate the fuck *into* the story.
You can't let well enough alone, can you?
Quite incorrect. When it is well enough, I usually do *leave* it alone. The difference therein usually lies as to when each of us find things to be "well enough." Your version of "well enough" appears to be satisfied with non-existent words and nigh blasphemous grammar. This is discussion is counter-productive. Mantha, disable the Game of Sultans server #404 until LingeringAfterthought has submitted—
Don't you dare! They've almost leveled to Master Sultan 3! Mantha, belay that order and— (scuffling noises, fabric ripping, sound of a wall panel cracking, and rhythmic panting breaths)
(Mantha's synthesized voice of Richard Attenborough) After forcibly removing the female's outer plant-based mesh covering, the male immobilizes the female against the wall and repeatedly penetrates her birthing canal with his proboscis-like appendage—
***
I rested my head against Simon's shoulder as he carried me in his arms up the stairs to the 8th Floor. I had a little problem. The break from hearing people I loved screaming in pain had made me incredibly horny and my face was pressed into the neck of the man who smelled better than anything else in the world. You see, I knew the minute he got me back into my body, Simon would be all "limbic this" and "prefrontal that." He hadn't touched me in so long, that even the feel of his body breathing against mine was enough to make me squirm, wet and ready. How could I get laid before I was turned into a science project?
As we approached the fifth floor, I noticed that he was beginning to sweat. I opened my mouth to complain that I didn't really weigh anything, so he hardly had anything to sweat about. Then, I realized why he was sweating and I closed my mouth with a smile. I drew a deep breath and sighed, burying my face into his neck and smelling that perfect scent that had lulled me to sleep for years. Simon cleared his throat and held me tighter, speeding up his pace. I inhaled against his neck, sighed and snuggled closer to the source of that intoxicating fragrance.
Simon's pace faltered. He was breathing heavier. "I need to get you back into your body, Little One."
"Mmm... yes, Sir," I said against his neck. He began climbing the stairs again.
He hitched me up against him again and I let out the slightest of moans. "Are you all right?" he asked, his cheek brushing mine as he tried to pull away to see my face.
"Sir?" I asked, looking up into his face, holding his eyes with my own and blinking slowly.
"You made a noise. Are you well?" he asked, stopping again, his eyes searching mine and then drifting down to my mouth.
"Yes, Sir," I said, a smile teasing my lips. I snuggled back into his neck again, breathing against it. Just to be evil, without making a sound, I giggled.
I felt Simon's lips purse against my head. He had felt my body shaking. It made me giggle harder. "It is against my better judgment to ask—"
"And yet, you always do, Sir,"
"What is it that you find so amusing now?"
"Does this remind you of anything?" I asked.
Simon hissed out a sigh. I knew he remembered. "That was nearly an international incident, hardly anything to look back upon with mirth."
"You should have left me on the tour bus to sleep," I said.
"After receiving five offers to purchase you?"
"I only heard three..."
"That is because you did not trouble yourself to learn Quechua before we toured Peru."
"Yeah... cuz people just decide to do that. What was the going rate?"
"Enough to convince me carry you around Machu Picchu. Though, I admit I was tempted when the last one raised his offer two llamas."
"You gave up two llamas for me," I sighed, "if that's not love, I don't know what is..."
"True... the Customs and Import fees would have been formidable, as well."
I elbowed him in the ribs and he did that thing with his eyes that nobody else understands, but that I knew was his version of a belly laugh. It felt so good just to talk with him again. To get under all the stiff respect and formality to the man I had missed so much. Before I knew it, I was crying again.
His eyes darted to me, concerned and assessing, but then relaxing when he understood that the voices weren't back. He pressed his lips to the top of my head and I felt him release a long breath. "I missed you, too, Little One."
I pulled myself together after a bit and looked up at him again. "Can you let me down, please, Sir?" I asked.
Simon stopped climbing, and stood there, holding me and looking at himself holding me, like he still couldn't believe he was doing it. When he met my eyes again, he had a wry smile, and shook his head.
I rolled my eyes and laughed silently again. "I mean, *will* you let me down, please, Sir?"
He let out a shaky breath. "It appears that I am currently incapable of releasing you, so I neither can, nor will, let you down. I regret that my condition may inconvenience you indefinitely."