"The 8th Floor of the Brethren Hospital Facility in Denver, Colorado houses the Acute Long Term Care Unit, which provides life-sustaining services to the bodies of up to 45 patients at a time. The average Brethren ALTC patient body has a stay of up to 2-4 weeks, depending upon their needs and awareness scoring on the Glasgow Coma Scale..." Tour Guide Sloan droned on and on, making me wonder if the people around here were actually in comas before they came here or if involuntary unconsciousness was just a perk of going on the tour. Unfortunately, Cake had run off to parts unknown, and Sloan was showing me around the place, which looked way too much like a nursing home. We walked past the front desk and down a long corridor lined with rooms. Most of the rooms' doors were wide open, showing 2-3 beds inside each, thick purple curtains were drawn around some of them, but most were wide open. I was surprised to see that people's situations were not all the same. I thought everyone would have the same setup as I did: respirator, food tube, IV, catheter... I shuddered, thinking about when I saw the last one. Having a plastic tube shoved up my cock was not my idea of a good time.
Uh oh, Sloan had stopped talking again and was looking at me like I should have been listening to the white noise he had just been spouting out. As if I couldn't just take a quick look at the Brethren ALTC home page and recite it back to him: I had a photographic memory when I bothered to pay attention, which admittedly wasn't often. Having an ADHD brain can be a mixed bag. It's like having a Ferrari with bicycle breaks. Not all of us have a photographic memory, though, that's actually pretty rare. What most of us have, though, is a lot going on upstairs without a lot of control over it. It was pretty much the worst day of my life when one of my teachers figured that out. Instead of writing me off as the little asshole I was, she started talking to my mom, who talked with a child psychologist, who asked me all the questions. Nothing good happens when women who care about you start conspiring with each other. Sugar? Gone. Routine? Rigid. Bedtime? Earlier and enforced to the minute by an armed guard. Screen time? Limited and educational only. Educational screen time is like listening to your grandma explain something to you: nice and all, but it's way too slow and repetitive and could really do with some explosions or naked bodies to spice it up. Huh... kinda like Sloan's nursing home tour that I was supposed to be listening to.
Sloan cleared his throat again. I jumped and looked over at him, wondering how long had he been standing there looking at me like that. You know, like you should probably run first and ask questions later? Something started squirming in my gut as I felt my adrenaline shoot up, which actually helps my ADHD brain focus better, but if you try to live your life only knowing how to focus that way, sooner or later you wind up flying over cows.
"Any questions?" Sloan asked, an unamused eyebrow climbing up his forehead.
"No, no... looks good. I get it," I said confidently. Teachers, moms and tour guides love hearing you confidently say that you get things.
"Good. Then, I expect you to have your assignments completed by this afternoon," he said, his eyes glittering with the full knowledge that I was bluffing my ass off. "Keep in mind what I said about your stamina as a novice," he said, looking down the hall over my shoulder distractedly. "I will likely be indisposed for several hours and will not be available to come to your aid, so do try to stay out of trouble. Cowboy."
Wait, he just did that thing I do to make fun of his name. A guy named Sloan just made fun of my name? Prick only wishes he had half my stamina, I thought, mutinously. "Uh, yeah, no problem. I'll go find Cake if anything comes up," I said, only because I was too pissed about being treated like a kid to ask him what the hell he was talking about. Cake could probably tell me whatever my assignment was about, too. Also, I kinda liked how she handled it when things 'came up.'
Sloan nodded once and began to walk toward whatever was distracting him down the hall when he turned and walked back to me, grabbed me by the upper arm, pushed me into the wall and got in my face with an intensity that shocked me. "One last thing: whatever you may see or do today, if you see a child like us - a girl - you are not to touch her-"
"What the fuck?" I interrupted, offended. "Touch a kid? Fuck you! What the hell do you think I am?" I yelled, yanking my arm away from him.
He continued as if I hadn't spoken, staring at me with the same ball-shriveling intensity. "You will not touch her. You will not speak to her. You will not remain in the same room with her. If you do anything but remove yourself from her presence immediately, I assure you that you will regret it for the rest of your existence. Do you understand?" he asked.
"Yeah, I understand! Don't mess with the kid! I have a kid sister, too, you know! Jeez!" Sloan gave me another terrifying, yet constipated, look and stalked off down the hall without another word. Nothing like a mind-numbing tour that wraps itself up with death threats.
Suddenly alone, I walked down the hall, peering into the rooms and wondering where Cake or Sloan's bodies were. If I touched their real bodies with my hand, would I be able to do that thing where Sloan felt what I had done with my body? And what was that deal with Sloan sticking his head inside mine? Was it the same thing as the hand thing? And what was Sloan supposed to be 'indisposed' with for several hours? The guy's in a coma - what does he do? Figure out how to make balloon animals with his cock and study grammar? I had a lot of questions and only more and more closed purple curtains to look to for answers.
I came up to a larger open area where a few of the coma patients that were able to be in wheelchairs had been put. I assumed they had been put there, anyway. They didn't really look like they could put themselves anywhere. They mostly stared blankly out the windows or in the direction of the TV that had a 24 hour news channel on it, blaring stories on repeat in a style most likely to produce bleeding ulcers, hair loss, and continuous watching in their viewership. Oh no! The flu is going around the world again! China is locking itself down and people are wearing masks! Yeah, like China wasn't locked down already and we haven't done this pandemic thing a dozen times before. It always ends up being nothing. Jeez, people, calm down and buy some Kleenex. I hate the news.