Virtual Sexuality

Chapter Two Melanie

I was waiting for Stephanie at the diner, reading the local newscast on my datapad. There was some story about a local store owner having gone missing, Jack someone. I was so bored. No, that's not quite right. I was so sex starved. Since Rob was transferred to Halifax, I had not had sex at all. I hated the dating scene. It usually took me months to just be willing to go out on dates each time I find myself unattached. In High School I never did, too embarrassed to even try to talk to some guy. Hell, Rob had been a 'fix me up' by me girl friends.

"Mel! There you are," Stephanie called out. I waved at her. She practically skipped over to the table. She looked at me with a strange expression on her face. Sitting, she asked, "Do you have any idea what you look like? No, of course not. Mel, you look like you dying for a good fuck."

"Steph! Someone will hear you."

"So what? This is 2024, not the 20th century. People can talk about sex and no one gives a fuck. Anyway, I have just the thing for you."

"Not another blind date?"

"Hey! You liked the last one. Or were you screwing Rob because he repulsed you?"

"Okay, Rob was cool. But, he was the 13th in a long string of failures. Do you have any idea how close I was to not going on that date? If it hadn't been the new "Gone With the Wind" I would have played sick."

"Let that be a lesson. Anyway, it's not a blind date. I'm talking about Virtual Sexuality. It will be perfect for you."

"Virtual Sexuality?"

"God Mel, don't you watch the holo? Their ads are everywhere. It's only the best thing in VR since wireless helmets. It's sex! Virtual sex. Not just sex, but your nastiest sex dreams, lived out in the safety of a matrix."

"Virtual sex? You mean like scaling Mt. Everest, only scaling mount cock?"

"Yes! They have the most advanced stuff. It reaches into your mind and pulls your best fantasies out and lets you live them out. You want to fuck two guys at once, you can. You want to be tied down and forced, it can happen, safely, with no chance of getting hurt by some weirdo. If you can think of it, you can do it."

"But, what if you don't know what you want?"

"That's the best part. Their new system reaches in to your subconscious and creates the ultimate fantasy from what you don't even know you want. It is so hot, I mean H... O... T... HOT. I'm practically creaming my panties just telling you about it. Come on, let's go."

"I don't know. What if I don't like what's in my subconscious?"

"That's silly. It's us. How can we not like us?"

She gave me little choice, really. She grabbed my wrist and practically dragged me down the street to her car. We glided along for about 20 minutes (Stephanie hated driving in fly mode, acrophobic). There it was. From the outside, it looked like any other VR arcade, well, except for the sign including the word sex in several prominent places. A group of college students were coming out, looking very pleased with themselves.

The inside lobby was more like a health club lobby. There was no sign of the VR booths that were prominently visible in other arcades. The gentleman behind the counter looked up.

"Ms. Linderman. It's so good to see you again. Are you visiting the dungeon again?"

"No Mark. I want to show my friend Melanie the place. We'll take the public matrix."

"No problem. In fact, we'll let her first time be for free. I'm sure it won't go to waste. Here's the release forms. Just sign in the usual place."

I took the pen, hesitating. "Release? From what?"

"Well, Melanie, it's the standard VR release, stating that you understand the slight risk of brain damage and that you will not hold Virtual Sexuality responsible. Every arcade has them."

I looked it over. It was the usual form, with one additional clause. "What's this about mental duress?"

"Since our new system accesses your subconscious to create your fantasy, there is a small chance that you may be shocked by what you encounter. You're just acknowledging that it's not us, but your own mind that creates situations that may shock you. It happens in about 1% of the cases.

I nodded my head, signing the form. Stephanie paid her $25 fee and he called an attendant to take us back to the public matrix. It looked just like any other arcade. There were rows of couches, recliners actually, with hoods at them. There were an awful lot of wires. Hadn't these people heard of wireless technology? "What's with all the wires. I thought this was supposed to be advanced?"

"That's because of our advanced system, ma'am. Your subconscious has about 100 times as much data in it as your external nervous system. That's too much for wireless right now, though the corporate headquarters is looking into wireless improvements. It's just as safe as regular VR."

"Have you played inside on of the matrices?"

"Yes ma'am," he said with a smile. "I like to go into the public matrix and indulge myself from time to time. I've visited the Gor specialty matrix a few times. It's really fun too."

He sat us down in adjacent couches and placed the hoods over our heads. "Has anyone explained exit icons yet, ma'am?"

"No. Exit icon?"

"Yes. On rare occasions, someone wants out before the real hour is up. The exit icon is a word or image that, if you see it, or say it, it causes the matrix to eject you immediately. It should be something that you are not likely to see or say unless you deliberately want to say it."

"Mine is brussel sprouts."

"Oh, make mine stockbroker."

"Oh," Steph added, can you make sure we enter together?"

"Okay," he said after entering a few commands into our consoles. "Are you all set?" We both nodded. "Here you go." There was the hum from the hoods and the flash of bright white as our nervous systems were integrated with the matrix mainframe.

My vision cleared and I was sitting across from a gorgeous woman at a booth in a bar. "Stephanie? Is that you?"

"Yep. I just love my virtual body. Yours isn't bad either. Check yourself out."

She pointed to the mirror behind the bar. She was right. I was hot. It was me, but not me. My hair was a much deeper shade of red, almost auburn, a color I had trouble getting my hair to take on. My skin was flawless, no freckles, and my face was subtly different. It took me a while to realize that it was less round and more symmetrical. I didn't have glasses, but could still see clearly. My breasts were larger, though not greatly so. It was only as I was looking at them that I realized that they were full and supported without my actually wearing a bra.

"Isn't our mind's eye so flattering? I had the same jaw dropping experience when I saw my virtual body."

I turned to look at Stephanie and she was also, her, but not her. She was a little taller, may three inches, her breasts were smaller than she really had, but also were firm and in no need of a bra. Her blond hair was, how do I put it, more perfectly blond. It surrounded her face like a picture frame, calling attention to it without overwhelming it. Her lips had that just right amount of pout, the kind that tells you that they would feel fabulous on your pussy.

Whoa. That was unexpected. It dawned on me that I found Stephanie incredibly sexy. Keep in mind, this has never happened to me before. This matrix must be programmed to heighten every aspect of sexuality. I'd had the stray bi-curious thought when I was in my teens, but I just don't see women as sexy. Give me a tall, dark haired, hunk with a deep voice and a tight ass any day. That's what I find incredibly sexy, at least until he demonstrates his ability and willingness to treat my like a princess and a whore at the same time.

The bar we were in had a mixture of men and women in it. There were a few couples already, but most of the people were mingling, looking to connect up. A Nordic god was approaching us, his eyes fixed on Stephanie. There was desire written across his face and a hint of lust in his eyes.

He dropped to one knee, took her hand in his and asked her, "Would you do me the pleasure of allowing me to ravish your body and send you to glorious sexual heights?"

Stephanie looked at me. "I love it here. The guys are so willing to try out the most romantic lines. Why yes, kind sir, provided that you allow me to service your desires as well."

He pulled her up into a passionate embrace, kissing her deeply. Both pairs of hands were roaming everywhere, trying to discover their bodies. It was as if I had ceased to exist for the two of them. I looked around, seeing if there was anyone that I wanted to embrace like that. The guys just didn't seem to hit me where it counted. I walked to the bar and ordered a sex on the beach, kind of enjoying being here, even without an immediate hook up.

"You look very lovely tonight." There was a tall brunette standing next to me. There was no way that anyone would call her beautiful. Her face was a little too masculine, her breasts very small, almost flat chested. She had all the feminine curves, however, and she was dressed to call attention to those. In fact, her clothes seemed to draw your eyes to between her legs. The pants she was wearing were tight, painted on tight. You could see the faint outline of a thong under them.

She reached out and brushed her hand against my arm, sending shivers through me. "Is this your first time in the matrix?"

"Yeah. My friend brought me with her." I tried to point Stephanie out, but she and her hunk were no where to be seen. "How did you know?"

"First timers are frequently not aware of the signals they are putting out. You are eying the men, trying to find one you're interested in, but your body is putting out signals for women."

"What! I'm sorry," I said, pulling my arm from her hand, "I'm not a lesbian."

"Not on the outside, perhaps. But I'm sure that every woman here is finding you incredibly arousing on some level, whether they act on that or not. Look out there and study the women. Don't they look incredibly hot? Don't I look incredibly hot?"

"No, absolutely..." I hesitated, because the women I was indicating with a wide sweep of my hand, were stunning, all of them. In fact, there were three that were down right intoxicating in their attractiveness, including the tall lady next to me. "I... I don't understand. How can I be..."

"Remember, the matrix is pulling things from your subconscious. On some level, you must want to at least experiment with a woman. I'd love to show you what another woman can do for you."

"No. I can't do this. Stockbroker."

There was a white flash, a moment of disorientation and I was back on the couch under the hood. I fidgeted while the tech got me out. "That was quick, only ten minutes. Is everything all right?"

I stammered out something about experiencing everything I needed to and practically ran out of the place. Five feet from the door, I did a double take. No, I'm serious, a true life look, then snap my head back to look again. I could not see her face, but the tall brunette was lying on a couch near the door. She looked exactly like she did in the matrix. Her mind's eye saw her just the way she really was. How is that possible?

My mind was in a blur as I went home. I was sure I was not a lesbian, not even curious about the prospect. Yet I found every woman in the public matrix attractive and none of the men. Could I really be a closet lezzie? I spent hours getting nothing accomplished as I rolled the unpleasant thought around my brain. I couldn't seem to let it go. I had always had difficulty dating. In fact, the only dates I seemed to go on were dates my girlfriends fixed me up with. Yes, there were steady boyfriends, but that was only after I had been out with them a time or two and had gotten comfortable. I don't remember a single time in my life when I wanted to be asked out by a guy. Yet, I don't have any memories of wanting girls to ask me out either.

Or did I? I loved girl's night out. It was so easy to interact with them and just be myself. The more I thought about it, I was always more interested in spending time, lots of time with other women. Was I trying to tell myself something all this time? If I was secretly trying to get intimately involved with a woman, why had it never happened in the 20 years I had been aware of my sexuality? I wondered how lesbians find other lesbians to date.

Heteros have it easy, I realized. If you're a guy wanting get some sex, you have no trouble finding a potential partner. After all, no one has any trouble identifying a member of the opposite sex. More importantly, every women expects, on some level, that a man will be interested in taking her to bed, even if he never tries. It's expected and no one is insulted by the attempt itself, only by the manner in which it is attempted.

But, for a lesbian, there is nothing external, other than blatant advertisement, of telling which women you encounter are interested. Hell, even another lesbian probably expects to be picked up on by guys rather than girls. And, if a lesbian makes a mistake, hits on a straight woman, the attempt itself could be taken as insulting. Best to play it safe and take a lot more time studying a potential partner. Or, go to a place that only same sex interested people go to. That's why gay bars exist, even in this modern time. 'Deviant' sexual advances will always touch a deep rooted revulsion in those who don't share them, even if we don't approved of those revulsions being openly displayed as much as we did 50 years ago.

That night I slept fitfully, my dreams hovering right outside of my memory, but disturbing none the less. I went through work in a daze, running on auto-pilot. All I could think about was finding women attractive and the shivers I had when the brunette had touched my arm. I studied the ladies that came through the store, trying to determine if I found them attractive, sexually, I mean. I couldn't recognize any such feelings, yet I knew they were there in the matrix. I ducked several calls from Stephanie, not willing to share my confusion with her.

By the end of the day, I had convinced myself that I needed to go back. I didn't want to have sex with her, I wanted to talk with her in the relative anonymity of the matrix. Yes, I know. I was planning on spending good money to go into a sexual fantasy setting and 'talk' about sex. I just didn't think I was ready to act, even in the VR world.

I hung out around the Virtual Sexuality building, trying to spot her going in. It took a few days, but I saw her walking towards the shop. I crossed the street and went in ahead of her. I paid my $25, signed the release and was taken back to the public matrix area. My mouth went dry when I contemplated interacting with her again. I was not 100% sure why I did not try to talk to her outside of the matrix. Maybe I needed the shield of anonymity. I went under the hood and in a white flash, I was back in the matrix.

The bar was now a dance floor. I wondered how often it changed. I looked around, trying to find her. She was not visible yet, but I did notice that, once again, all the women were sexually attractive. There seemed to be an awful lot of people here.

"You came back."

I jumped, as much at her voice coming from behind me as the touch on my arm sending sparks of energy through me. She looked just like she had yesterday. I was tongue tied, unable to form complete sentences.

"Hi... I... Would you mind if... What I'm trying to say is..."

"That's okay. Take a deep breath. Let me see if I can guess what you want. You're frightened of how you felt last time. You have thought a lot about how you felt and you need to talk."

"Am I that obvious?"

"Not to most people. I've been coming here for a long time. I'm solidly lesbian, and I'm totally comfortable with who I am, in every respect. That's why my virtual body and my real body look alike. Most of my sexual encounters in this matrix are with straight women who have a deep need to explore, or understand, or experience same sex sex at some level. It's extremely difficult to come to terms with the idea that you might not be who you thought you were. I dealt with my confusion issues in the real world, 15 years ago. When I see that confusion in women now, I need to help them see who they are. And not all of them are lezzies, or even bi. Some are just experiencing a curiosity that comes from being human. One encounter, and they have no more need to experiment again."

"How can I know? What if I'm lesbian and I don't want to be? Honestly, I'm a little scared."

She asked me the strangest question, not answering the ones I asked. "Tell me, how different is your virtual body than your real one?"

I described the differences, mostly cosmetic. The major changes to me seemed to be on the inside, how I perceived the rest of the world.

"That your image of yourself is so much like you tells me that you are already close to what your subconscious is trying to find. I'll bet that you've never had much luck dating."

"No. It seems to take girlfriends setting me up, and most of those are disasters."

It dawned on me that I was sharing an awful lot of private stuff with a total stranger. I did not even know her name. Why was I so open with her? "I'm not even sure I understand why I'm being so open with you. I mean, I've hung out waiting for you to come back, just so I can talk. Why do I feel so right talking about such personal issues with you. I don't even know your name."

"Well, my name is Julie. I can't tell you why you are so willing to talk to me. On some level, you see me as safe. Part of that comes from the matrix itself. Our subconscious minds clicked, and that can't be done away with. I would never force myself on you, not even in VR. If and when you're ready, I can show you just how good two women can make each other feel. The fact that I find you incredibly sensuous tells me that you will be ready at some point. Feel free to ask me anything, anything at all."

"How did you know that your were attracted to women?"

"I'm not sure that's the best question. I knew because I was attracted to girls. I would look at them, admiring the way their asses swayed, or the way their breasts looked, or the hints of pussy that I could see under their skirts. The answer you want, I think, is how did I realize that I was a lesbian." She put a hand up to forestall my response. "They are not the same questions. Straight women can be sexually aroused by women. A lovely woman is a lovely woman. Being a lesbian means that I prefer sex with other women, in my case, to the exclusion of men altogether. That knowledge came when I was 17. I had been on dates with guys for almost a year. No one steady, just that experimental playing the field that teens do. The sex was mediocre at best and at times down right horrible. Then, I was at a church camp and all us girls were sleeping in a separate building from the guys. Someone started a game of truth or dare. On my third time, I chose dare and Shelly, someone I barely knew, dared me to kiss her on the lips for one whole minute.

"There was lots of oohing and ahwing, but I was game, after all, it wasn't like we were going to have sex. As soon as our lips touched, I knew that there was something. There was a spark that grew exponentially with every second. I couldn't help myself, I opened my mouth and we tongued each other openly. I got horribly aroused, my pussy staining my pants by the time we had broken our kiss, which took three minutes. The other girls joked about how we must be lezzies, but I knew right then, that it was no joke. That one kiss was better than any sex I had had with a guy. I was a lesbian, and right then, I wasn't very happy about it."

"I thought you said you were totally comfortable with who you are."

"Oh, I am now. But that took five years of fighting it. I slept around with guys like a shameless slut, trying to turn myself into a 'normal' girl. I would fall for some girl and either experience horrible rejection when I made an advance at her, or crushing guilt when I was successful and we enjoyed ourselves. The sex with the women was the best, but I would suffer bouts of depression afterwards, not wanting to be this way. It ended with my trying to kill myself. I slit my wrists in a tub and was barely saved when my roommate at the time found me.