The ants look like they're having a party.
I concentrate my gaze on these ants, the cold tile pressed into my cheek, as the monster who I'm supposed to call my father lands blow after blow on my crumpled body. The pain is a series of explosions, and yet I try to pin my gaze and thoughts on the ants as a way to ignore it. I wonder if they're having a good time? If they are, then I salute them, since if I were an ant I would spend every waking moment fearing for my life, knowing that anything can crush you at any time.
Not that I don't feel that way now. And yet, it seems like it's about to end soon. My vision is going blurry as my grabs me by the hair and throws me over to the couch. I can barely see him anymore, but I know that the look in his eyes is enraged and crazed. It never ceases to amaze me how
liquid
can do such things to a human being, turn them into monsters if they consume too much of said liquid.
As he backhands me across the face, he's screaming a name, but not mine. My mother's. I treat it like a curse now, how much I look like my mother. Same deep blue doe eyes, same fair skin, same petite figure, same long platinum hair-although this no longer applies. I'd cut my hair in the hopes that it would somehow prevent him from seeing
her
every time he looks at me during his . . . episodes. It's now messy and shoulder-length, and I'd also dyed it a pastel violet color.
As you can obviously tell, that was a very beneficial decision indeed.
And so I lie here on this dingy, plaid living room couch in our cooped up apartment, waiting for death to come down and embrace me, take me away from this creature who had once used his arms to hold me rather than to pummel me relentlessly. And for what? It's not even me that he despises, it's
her
-the woman who one day just up and disappeared, leaving naught but a note that said only three words:
I met someone.
I was cursed to have been born looking like this woman, and now I have to pay the price.
My vision is slipping away from me little by little, and the myriad of pain I feel goes with it. Suddenly it stops completely, and as the darkness slowly consumes my eyes, I catch a glimpse of what look like . . .
Feathers?
It's the last thing I see before I fall into oblivion.
*****
Consciousness toys with me. Greets me one moment and leaves me abruptly the next.
The world around me is still a blur every time I open my eyes. Even that task alone is taxing, as if my eyelids weigh thousands of pounds.
I feel pain, of course. Pain is always there. But I also feel . . . arms, holding me. Strong arms that could easily shatter me but instead keep me encased in warmth and safety. I also hear powerful, rhythmic
whoosh
ing sounds, and I can't place what they are.
I don't even have time to contemplate before the darkness swallows me whole once more.
*****
When I finally do wake, I'm resting on top of clouds.
Well, not really, but the bed beneath me is so white and so soft that it could easily pass as clouds if you close your eyes and just let your body sink into it, which I do. For a moment I just don't bother thinking about anything at all, choosing to enjoy this feeling.
Key words: for a moment.
My eyes open and I lift myself up to examine my surroundings. It takes a while for my vision to clear, but once it does, I see that I'm in a spacious, clean bedroom. The colors in the room are different shades of white and beige, and the room looks like the master bedroom of a mansion. There's a bookshelf, a sitting area, and even a marble fireplace with ornate, golden motifs. The drapes are closed, but thin slivers of sunlight filter through it.
The door is ajar, and the smell of food wafts into the room from outside. I take a whiff of it and it immediately awakens my stomach, making it emit a fierce growl.
How in the world did I end up
here
? The last thing I remember was being beaten near to death by my father, and the overwhelming amount of pain that-
Wait.
Pain. I suddenly realize that I feel . . . none.
With a jolt, I push off the covers and examine my body. I'm wearing a white, knee-length nightgown-whoever had saved me must have changed me, too. But this is not what makes me gasp. What makes me gasp is my skin. Or rather, what isn't present on my skin: bruises.
There's nothing. Completely smooth, unharmed, not even a single scar. How is this even possible?
A thought crosses my mind. A thought that I think is too stupid to admit out loud:
Am I dead?
How my body is completely devoid of bruises, how everything is in an ethereal shade of white. Could it be that I'd died, and this is heaven? A part of me wants to laugh out loud at the absurdity of this thought, but another part of me is actually considering it as a possibility. How else can this be explained?
If it is indeed true, I just didn't expect heaven to be . . . a bedroom. Call me cliche, but I'd expected vast meadows, angels flying around, rainbows, unicorns, the whole shebang. Although the overwhelming
white
ness of my surroundings does have a certain . . . heavenly quality to it. Either that or the owner of the house-the person who'd saved me, I'm assuming-considers white to be their favorite color.
"You're awake."
As if on cue, I see them-him-now in the doorway. My jaw drops instantly, and I have to force it back up. The young man standing before me is very tall, possibly six-foot-five, give or take. Bronze skin, inky black hair that's cut short and tousles upwards in spikes, and deep gray eyes with flecks of gold in them. His face is chiseled, as if he's a statue of a Greek god come to life, and his form is no different. The long-sleeved V-neck shirt he's wearing does little to accomodate his powerful physique; broad shoulders, a wide chest and arms packed with muscle.
I'd never seen someone so incredibly attractive in my life. Not even celebrities or models. Seeing him makes me think the heaven statement might not be so ridiculous after all.
He leans against the doorway, and the look on his face makes me both melt and feel a zap of familiarity. His eyes are warm, and the smile on his face is kind and genuine. I suddenly realize that I know this man, somehow. Not him personally, but his appearance. His smile. It had been like a constant presence in my life. I would always catch glimpses of him, but they were just that: glimpses. Each time I try to turn back to where I'd seen him, he would be gone. A logical person would probably think that this is a tad creepy and stalkerish, but it never felt that way to me. It almost felt as if he was simply just . . . watching over me. And the fact that he'd saved me just now seems like solid enough proof.
But why, though? Why has he been watching over me all this time, and why did he save me? We don't even know each other. And yet, he looks at me as if he's known me my whole life.
"Umm . . . Yeah, I suppose I am," I say weakly. My voice is hoarse, and I clear my throat.
He stands there for several heartbeats longer, and then walks towards me. Carefully, I notice, like he's afraid I might back away from him or be afraid of him, when in all honesty there's not even an iota of fear in me. Even though I have no idea who this man is, his presence makes me feel secure. "I'm guessing you want to know what happened?" he asks with a somewhat apologetic smile. His voice is deep and comforting. Hearing it feels like a sip of hot chocolate on a cold winter night.
I nod, and he takes a deep breath, biting his lip. He suddenly looks nervous. "Okay, if I try explaining it to you, I'll sound crazy, so I'm going to have to show you first." I furrow my eyebrows, and he adds, "Don't freak out, okay?"
. . . Huh? "Why would I freak out?" I ask, confused.
With another breath, he closes his eyes. Suddenly, a golden light emits from his back, and out furls massive, milky-white wings. This time when my jaw drops I can't even raise it anymore. He stretches them, making the ivory feathers dance slightly, but then he lets his wings disappear again, seeing my expression of utter shock.