The past week had been quite possibly, the most sex heavy, debauched weeks in my life.
I would have complained, except, uh. No. I wouldn't have.
During the day, Princess Jaqueline was an insatiable as the rumors and legends about redheaded said – to the point I had to ask her several times if she was
sure
she wasn't half fox spirit. Each time she had laughed, tweaked my nose, then shoved me into a darkened corner of her palace to ride me raw. During the night, I was roused from my bed by the Rose, who taught me some arts of fencing, on the seduction of mortal women, and how to refine my technique to new, rarefied heights. I was able to bring a woman to orgasm with the smallest of caresses, thanks to what the Rose had shown me.
And during the whole week, the village of Shimmatonen made their way to the north. The villagers were grateful to me and my wives and the king, Carmisan, was perfectly willing to use his entire village as a bludgeon to get me to wherever I needed to go. It gave us time to do something that June had been grumbling about for days: A chance to dock the Starshrike and take a look over her engines. They had been running nearly non-stop for weeks and they had been started in a somewhat unorthodox fashion without the guidance of their animating intelligence.
In other words, June was pretty sure I had fucked it up and wanted to see if I had.
So, while Shimmatonen trotted across the vast, tractless whiteness of the north and snows came down in light flurries, June, Chirp and Xora all clambered inside the guts of the Starshrike, looking her over. Chirp had been reading every scroll, book and tome that they could find in the Starshrike, while Xora seemed to have an intuitive understanding of ships and boats of all kinds (even those that flew through the air, rather than swept through the waves.) June herself would often times drag me from my sexual haze to get me to move a component, speak a command word, spill some blood, or do any number of arcane services that would make the Starshrike more able and ready to fly.
On the dawn of the first day of the next week, and the breaking of the snows into a brilliantly clear day, we came into sight of the northmost outpost of the entire Regency. It, apparently, had no name. No one had seen fit to slap one on the place. Which struck me as somewhat unfair – the outpost was far from unimpressive.
It was a set of four titanic towers, each one build out of solid ice, thrusting from the wilderness like the fingers of a titanic god. Each tower's flat top was nearly as broad as the back of our dire horse, and was peppered with heavy duty magitech artillery – artillery that opened up as we came into view. Glimmering auroral ribbons were flung out by star-bright projectiles, trailing their lights in the same way a fire arrow might trail smoke. They dropped over the horizon and flared with reddish light, making the place where Land met Sunder look as if the sun was dipping below the horizon, rather than simply closing above us.
I watched the display through a set of spyglasses, with my wives and Jaquline standing around me, all of us situated on one of the balconies of Carmisan's palace. I whistled. "What are they blowing up?"
"The fae," Ceaith said, casually. She glanced at me. "When we go to visit them, I want my sister to stay back on Shimmatonen. Just in case."
I nodded. "Right. How is she?"
"Oh, she's fine," Ceaith said, grinning. "Still trying to wrap her head around the fact that I'm a Lunar. But she's just glad that her soul isn't being sucked out and used to create Infused Knights."
I grinned. "Aren't we all..." I shook my head, then glanced over at Ceaith. "How's the Starshrike's engines?"
"They're still in pieces. B-but I'd also not want to fly the unmarked, unusual magitech flying ship near a tower full of trigger happy legionaries," Ceaith said, their voice soft as they chewed on their lower lip.
"Well, fortunately, I have a plan," I said.
***
Shimmatonen slowed and came to a stop. His head swung down and he chomped down on five pine trees in one big, shattering, splintering bite. His head lifted his his immense molars crunched the trees into a fine past, splinters and bits of needles falling past his mouth and towards the distant snow-covered forest floor. I had a great view of it, swinging down from the stirrup-elevators that were slung from either side of the saddle-town. The elevators were huge, each one nearly the size of a warehouse, and we were not alone as we came down. The villagers, it seemed, had more than enough trade goods to make any stop a profitable one, and as we were lowered towards the distant floor of the forest, I got a great view of the people on the elevator around me, bustling about to make sure that the crates were stowed and lashed down tight.
The winds caused the elevator to swing from side to side, ever so slightly, which made Chirp grip onto the railing with knuckles gone even whiter than usual. Ceaith, seeing that, snorted. "Chirp. My dorkly one. You can
fucking
fly."
"I-It's still very high up!" Chirp whimpered.
Xora, who was standing as far back from the edge as possible, nodded.
"I'm not scared." I said, smiling as I stepped over to the railing. I leaned against it, my back settled against the metal pole that made up the upper edge of the rail. "See, Chirp. Perfect-" The elevator swung and I felt my balance shifting slightly. I flailed my arms, caught myself, sat up straighter. "Perfectly safe!"
Chirp turned into their bat form and hid themselves inside of the hay at the bottom of the elevator, clinging to the wood.
At last, the elevator settled down to the forest floor. I was just about to step off before I stopped, then turned and saw that Jaquline had joined us. She was dressed in her green kimono, her bright red mane of hair draw into a tight ponytail behind her head with a green silk tie. She smiled at me. I pointed my finger at her.
"Why are you here?" I asked.
"My father sent me along to be part of the negotiation package," Jaquline said, her voice a husky croon. "Also, my Unconquered, I do want to see what fine pieces of ass fill the Legion these days."
"You'll have an easy time of it," Ceaith said, her voice dry. "Half of them are marrying yeti, they're so desperate for poon. I mean, have you
seen
a yeti chick?"
"Have you?" I asked as I put my feet into the snow. The white, powdery stuff crunched around my toes. It felt nice. I wriggled my toes, grinning as I did so – though I felt a small trickle of mana flowing through my body to sustain myself against the chill.
"No," Ceaith said. "But, I mean, they're
yeti
."
"Are you just assuming they're ugly cause their name sounds funny?" I asked, shaking my head as I looked forward – at the vast tower of the Piss Boot Legion that rose before us. There was no sign of a door – at first. Then a seam appeared in the ice, sending out a fine spray of white powder. It carved a shape of a rectangle before the chunk swung forward with a groaning sigh. When it struck the ground, it crashed and sent up a wave of white snow, flurrying in the air. I lifted my hand to shield my face and when the flurry had passed, I saw that the massive slab had been carved on the inside so that it formed a set of stairs leading from the leading edge to the flat base. Standing upon it were a quartet of Infused Knights, their bodies wreathed in swirling ice particulates.
As one, the Infused Knights leaped, then dropped down, kicking the ice as they landed upon the slab. It skidded towards us like a vast sled, sliding and creaking and grinding, brushing aside a few trees until it came to a stop right before the elevator. As it came close, I saw that the Infused Knights – the
Ice Knights
– were only part of the party. The rest of the legionaries were dressed in the familiar lamellar armor I recognized from Jerin Kah's party.
Though, uh...
Less revealing? And slutty?
And they weren't all girls.
Their armor was painted white, to give them some camouflage against the ice. All save for their boots, gloves and helmets, which were a bright, ruby red. One of the legionaries, though, didn't need a red helmet to be distinctive. She was in the middle of the group and looked down at us with a cold, evaluating glare – one that made me feel as if she was measuring each of us for a coffin. She had bright green skin and long red hair, which was itself blooming with rose buds and threaded with snarling, red thorns. She stepped up to the edge of the stairs leading to the ground and called down.
"Where's Carmisan?" She asked.
"He sent me in his stead," I said, stepping forward.
The woman rolled her eyes. "Are you another one of his sons?" She paused. "No. Carmisan is red from drink, not birth – who are you?"
"I...my name is Sleepy Ember," I said. "Are you the general of the Seventh Legion?"
The woman snorted. "Please. I'm not a prissy whelp like my brother. I won't roll over dead if you use the word
piss
around me. My men are proud of what they've done – and they're proud of their name. But yes..." She lifted her chin. "I am Ejana Back Rose Kah, Infused Knight and Generalissimo of the Piss Boot Legion. And you, Sleepy Ember, look like an eastern peasant and..." Her eyes flicked from me to Ceaith, then to Xora, then to Jacqueline.
"And...you are the Unconquered himself," she said, quietly.
I smiled. "Yes! I'm here to-"