***
Thank you all for reading along with me so far.
I really appreciate feedback, both positive and critical. If you have feedback to share I encourage you to do so! I won't always agree with or follow your feedback, obviously, but I do read and consider it.
I've stopped responding to comments on Lit because of the delays in posting them. There's just such a long delay that I feel awkward attempting to offer replies. If you'd like a response then you can find me elsewhere, if not, just know that I see you.
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Chapter 52
Sati looked as though she wanted to protest my words, but eventually she swallowed her objection, and just nodded grimly. She adopted a thoughtful expression, and I could feel her mind churning. Her emotions were raw, but not frantic. Probably the best place for her to be in for this kind of introspection.
"My aspect comes from my father, of course." She said slowly. "Our aspect of dreams is powerful and versatile, and it defines his rule."
"But what does it mean?" I asked. "What does it mean for you?"
"We make dreams come true." The apsara smirked, as though laughing at a joke that wasn't terribly funny. "I used to think that we made our own dreams come true, but I see now how others latched onto us, to carry out their own visions."
"Is that a bad thing?" I tried to keep my tone even and compassionate. It wasn't my job right now to judge Sati, just help her to see herself clearly.
"No," she answered after some thought. "No, it's not bad in itself. But it's not the indisputable power I once thought it was. I need to keep my own goals in mind, always. Pursue my own dreams before anyone else's. Or, if I put another's desires before my own, I need to do so intentionally, not allow myself to be blindly led."
"So you still want to shape the world, control the bigger picture?" Sati shook her head at my question.
"No," she refuted. "That's not what I mean at all. Trying to control others is exactly what blinded me. I need to control myself, to understand my own desires, and keep them clear in my mind.
"This," she gestured at the ziggurat, the library her father had left her. "This is a trap, as much as a gift. My father meant for it to shape me into the kind of person he thought was best. Even if he had the best of intentions, it's still a leash meant to control me. I wanted his love, admired his power, and this is a monument to both. But I can't make use of it, not without giving up who and what I am. I don't want to be what he wants me to be."
The tone of Sati's final words broke my heart. They weren't angry, or even sad. They were desolate, and resigned. I felt a shift, as the earthen bridge to the ziggurat began to break apart and dissolve, but then I felt another, overwhelming aura of power crash into us.
A corona of iridescent light rose from the peak of the retreating spell. It was blinding, as though the sun itself were held behind a prism. From that brilliant rainbow descended a figure, one that I was familiar with. The god-king Ramana descended in glory, coming to rest at the edge of our domain.
For a moment I was filled with both fear and anger. Was the legendary sorcerer so petty that he would come to personally bring his daughter in line for the slight of rejecting his gift? But then I realized that this figure, while powerful, lacked the sheer depth of will that came with Ramana's focused attention.
"It's a construct," I hated how relieved I sounded as Sati just nodded in response to my words. She must have been used to such displays of power, spells that were so perfectly formed they could mimic the man himself.
"Why do you reject me?" Even an imitation of the god's voice was so powerful and sonorous that it shook my teeth in my skull. "Have you become so prideful that you think your knowledge is superior to mine?"
The apsara hunched her shoulders and began to shake, wrapping her arms around herself. First it was trembling, then small shudders, and finally her shoulders jerked as harsh laughter tore from her throat.
"Prideful?!" She finally screamed at the projection. "Is it prideful to realize that I am not, and will never be you? Is it prideful to choose a path for myself, instead of blindly imitating you? This is me rejecting your pride, your arrogance, in thinking your way is the only way. I won't be poisoned by you anymore!"
Anger rolled off the avatar like heat waves, and I felt fear seize my throat. The spell was powerful, powerful enough that even within our domain it might be able to strike at the former princess. I moved nearer, setting my will to defend her if needed, but Sati remained unbowed and defiant, still laughing. I waited, feeling as though the situation were poised on a razor's edge between calm and violence, until the avatar unexpectedly smiled.
"You are only the second of my daughters to step away from my gift, and the youngest by far." He smiled, an expression that was both proud and bittersweet. "I give you the greatest gift I know how. You are banished from my kingdom, until such time as you can stand before me as an equal."
Without further ado the avatar crumbled to dust, blowing away on an unfelt wind. The top levels of the ziggurat also dissolved, leaving only the base intact.
"He left his knowledge," Sati whispered. "The lessons, and the fragment of his mind are all gone, it's just the knowledge."
"What an ass," Sati shot me a surprised look, and I shrugged. "You decided not to follow in his footsteps, and so he decided to cut all ties with you? Leave you with almost no support? I imagine he sees this as 'giving you your independence', but he could have done the same thing just by watching what he says when speaking with you. Or he could have been willing to have an actual conversation. This? This is just him being petty."
Sati let out another laugh, a genuine laugh, and I smiled to hear it. Confident that she wouldn't be lost wallowing in angst, I turned my attention to the remnants of Ramana's spell. The rune of hubris was gone, though some remnants of the mana remained, clinging to some sections of the god's remaining knowledge like a stain. I guessed that those sections were the ones that most reinforced his narcissistic views, and while the could have cleansed them, I didn't think it was worth the effort.
