AN- Thanks to everyone for your supportive comments and feedback! I am continuing to refine my writing, so please feel free to keep either or both of those coming.
In book two I am working on improving my action writing, which takes up the same part of my brain as the explicit erotic stuff. so explicit scenes may not be quite as regular and frequent. Still, I hope you enjoy!
Chapter 1
"This won't be like our last excursion. We will be engaging in open conflict, and you aren't in any immediate danger right now. You could simply walk away from this." I tried not to let my exasperation leak into my voice, but the look Myta shot me indicated that I hadn't succeeded.
Cata looked at me with a wry, almost amused expression. The former apprentice woodworker had wanted to shift his apprenticeship to me, though he had simply asked if I needed an assistant. Perhaps he sensed that an actual apprenticeship was a sore topic with me. Denu looked rather angrier, as though my warning was some kind of personal affront. She had proven herself to be a more than capable tracker and archer, I just dreaded taking a fifteen year old girl into a war zone.
"Perhaps let them think on it, master?" Myta's suggestion was more to help me save face, than any other reason. Her amusement flowed easily over our bond. She had warned me of their response already, but I had still wanted to caution the pair of youths again. As harrowing as our time battling the Pure in the ancient ruins has been, it was nothing compared to the horrors of open warfare.
"Of course," I responded in an even tone. "I only wished to be clear. We will leave in a few hours, and try to keep ahead of the caravan."
"We'll meet you at your cart then, Esur'uk." Cata pulled Denu away, and her eyes lingered on me as they went, still smoldering with resentment.
"I just wanted to warn them." I sighed, looking at my vas, unable to keep my frustration bottled up any longer. She snorted in response, annoyed with my annoyance.
"No, master. You wanted to scare them. To drive them off. And you didn't fool anyone about that fact, other than yourself." Myta gave me a look of genuine anger, and I was taken aback by it. Her eyes were darker red, closer to the color of embers than flame, signaling her disappointment with me.
I felt the urge to argue, to defend my intentions. But Myta was devoted to me, and until recently she was deferent to a fault. So I stopped myself, and took stock of my feelings instead.
"It is true that I don't think they really understand what is coming. And yes, perhaps I would rather scare them away than let them walk into this unknowing." Memories scratched at the back of my mind, like starving rats trapped in a box. Trying to dig into my thoughts.
"You can't make these kinds of choices for them." Some of my distress must have leaked through, because my vas' voice became far more sympathetic.
"You can't give us your experiences. Nor can you expect us to feel or react in the same ways you did. Don't make assumptions about what is right for others. Teach, support, and lead them instead."
"As you say, my flame." I suppressed a sigh, annoyed at my own petulance. "When did you get to be so insightful? Let alone so confident?"
"Master?" She blinked at me with an affected air of complete innocence. "Have I overstepped? Perhaps you need to remind me of my place?"
"Perhaps," I said dryly. "Tonight though. Now we need to check on the cart, and ensure everything is in order for our trip."
The warm affection that flowed between the two of us was something that I'd been sorely lacking in my life, as it had been lacking from hers. I no longer worried that Myta would outgrow our relationship, now that her soul sickness was cured. Finding out how to deal with our bond was my highest priority, however. I didn't fully understand how it functioned, and having it be altered or broken could prove disastrous.
"You're like two rabbits, always ready to rut." That lovely sentiment came from my other reason for wanting to learn more about our bond. Sati, once Princess Sati'ramana, apsara, and daughter of King Ramana. I looked over at the former princess, raising my brow upon seeing two men trailing her, loaded down with goods.
"What is all this?" My tone was unamused, but Sati waved it off.
"Just some supplies for our travel, we'll need to load them in your cart."
"What supplies? I can make some space, but we don't have enough room for all of that, so we'll need to prioritize. And how did you afford it in any case? I believe Minister Yatek said that you no longer had access to your previous line of credit?"
"I told the merchants that we needed some sundries for our trip," she scoffed in dismissal of my concern. "They were honored to assist us."
My lips twitched in an unamused smile. Sati had played on the gratitude of those merchants, when she had been supporting the Pure soldiers who were raiding the caravans in the first place. The bond between us was weak, but apparently my anger was strong enough to carry over. Sati's expression turned to one of worried confusion. Myta, while not as angry as I, burst into incredulous laughter.
"We will pay for any of these goods that we actually need." I told the porters clearly. "But I will need to go through them first. Please lay out the goods so I can review them."
It didn't take me long to sort through things, while the apsara alternately fumed and fretted beside me. Considering her background, I could actually see how the former princess would see all of these items as necessities. Traveling gear, which I approved of. Some cosmetics and personal care products, which I trimmed down significantly. And clothes, which I largely returned.
Sati had chosen the richest clothing she could find in the caravan. While I could see some potential value in dressing her to impress, it was all supremely impractical for the conditions we would be living and traveling in. The men were willing enough to exchange the clothes for more practical garments, although I did ensure that she had several veils available.
It wouldn't do, to show off her eyes too freely. Her rainbow irises, like the shimmer of oil on water, would be an immediate indicator of her relation to Ramana. I wasn't aware of any other sorcerer to show such a change.
"You cannot take liberties like that in the future," I said to the apsara grimly. "They offered you their goods for free, as a gesture of goodwill. Goodwill that will quickly wear thin if we take advantage of it. Goodwill, that you did not earn, and do not deserve."
"It's only money, and not that much money." She scoffed, and I felt her defensive confusion.
"I know you know what it is like, to struggle for power and recognition," I said. "Well here, outside your father's court, money and goodwill are the currencies people must have to survive. You will not always have access to either, unless you conserve them."
She bowed her head in acceptance, but I didn't get any real sense of understanding from her. I rubbed between my brows, feeling a headache coming on.
When the men returned with Sati's new clothing, they also brought a rucksack. I gestured to her goods, which I'd divided into two piles.
"These things Myta and I will load up into the cart for you. Those, you will need to pack into the bag and carry." She stared at me in blank confusion. "Unless you don't want them after all? I imagine the merchants may be willing to refund me."
Sati jumped a little, seeming finally to understand my words, she set about packing, with an ineptitude born of complete inexperience. Myta took pity on her, settling in to assist the apsara. Teaching her about packing and organization. At least the former royal didn't reject my flame's aid out of hand.
Watching the two work together made me grateful for Myta's aid. My vas' light gray skin and flame colored hair were a balm to my frustration. But as I watched the two of them, I began to feel ill, queasy. I tried to pin down the sensation. It wasn't physical, nor was it a reaction to my mood. With a sinking feeling in my gut, I realized the source of my distress. Poisoned mana, the tainted discharge of a soul sickness, seeped into my meridians.
For one, reactionary moment, I feared that Myta had relapsed. That somehow, after all our trials she had fallen back into her wallow of shame and self loathing. But I pushed that thought aside. My flame was stronger than that, she had moved past the stigma others had tried to force on her. Looking with clear eyes, I found the wellspring of filth. Sati, apsara and daughter of Ramana, was sick to the very core of her spirit.
No wonder her father had been so eager to put her in my care.
I shouldn't have been surprised, really. The Pure had been working on creating, cultivating, and controlling demons. The sorcery that bound me to the erstwhile princess was Pure sorcery, originally intended to chain her to one of their monks. It was Ramana's spell that had intercepted that link, binding her to me instead. I honestly wasn't sure how much of that scenario the god-king had planned out, but it was clear that I was his preferred poison.
Myta's sickness had been an insidious self hatred. Her father and her peers had done their best to convince her that she was, not just worthless, but an active blight on her family. Guilt for her supposed sins had left wounds for the Pure to exploit, driving her deeply into an all-consuming malaise.
Sati felt different. Unsurprisingly her sickness stank of arrogance, and unfulfilled desire. But I also felt a thread of hollow loneliness to it. Her pain was more complicated than the apsara's shallow demeanor gave credence to.
Our bond was weak yet, incredibly tenuous compared to the deep rapport I'd developed with my flame. Not enough for me to draw much of the poisoned mana from her at a time. But I made a start of it, turning my spirit into a drawing poultice, wicking away the foul energy.
