Torgan Wine Ch 59

Many thanks to Nthusiastic for her help in editing, beta reading and making good suggestions!

*****

Isonei had fallen asleep to the sound of her Daga telling Hesh about the mound and Aran traditions concerning their dead. She was gently woken sometime later by her Daga squeezing her shoulder.

"Hmm?"

"We've come to a stop, Isonei."

Daga Liadith helped her sit up.

"I sent Hesh out first to give me time to wake you."

He smoothed her hair and looked amused as she rubbed her eyes and yawned.

"You rise as early as a Daga but Ivorith may be right. If you slept longer perhaps you wouldn't fall asleep so often in the day."

"I think once I'm in one place for a few days it will get better, my Daga. I never had any difficulty traveling inside of Ara, or even into Leria, but now I start feeling tired just from sitting in a carriage."

He laughed and patted her cheek with the back of his hand,

"Travel on horseback would be quicker. You might try that when you come home next."

"Only if someone is on the horse with me, I-"

Isonei blinked as the carriage door opened.

"Isonei? Hesh-Caeridith said you'd fallen asleep, are you feeling well?" Ivorith peered into the carriage with a frown.

"I'm fine, Ivorith. I was just a little tired."

"Perhaps you should be riding with father..." Ivorith stepped back as Daga Liadith moved to leave the carriage.

The Daga turned to help her down as he replied, "No. She was where she needed to be."

Noticing the displeased look on her brother's face, Isonei stepped forward and gave Ivorith a kiss on the cheek once she touched the ground. "If it makes you feel any better, Daga Liadith was just saying you might be right about encouraging me to sleep longer in the mornings."

"It does," Ivorith smiled faintly, "a little. I worry about you falling asleep so much. Father said you only do that when you're ill and that over the years you picked up Lady Avletha's bad habit of trying to conceal it to make things more pleasant for everyone else."

Daga Liadith sucked his lips against his teeth, "Is that where she learned it? I'm aware that she tries to make herself seem in better spirits than she truly is. She does that with her health too?"

"She does. Ximesra was telling us about taking care of her in Torga. The Torgan servant, Krouth, insisted on vigilance in her care, partly because of it."

Isonei sighed and closed her eyes, refraining from rubbing her temples, "Master Krouth was always very thoughtful and he looked after me as if I were family, but that doesn't mean I need someone hovering over me. I'm not as ill as I was."

"You're not as well as you should be."

Daga Gildith's stern voice made her turn and she darted over to embrace him as he opened his arms.

"She's been looking forward to seeing you, my friend."

"A daughter of Liadith is as a daughter of Gildith,"

the older Daga ran a hand over her back as Isonei breathed in the sweet floral scent of his mantle,

"I know she's not well enough to come to me yet and it would be cruel to make her keep her word, but I wished to see the child."

"She was telling us of meeting Daga Solvirith in your garden, before she fell asleep."

Hesh-Caeridith came closer walking next to Maraphina.

"If Liadith had not been able to say he was her Daga, Solvirith would have claimed her."

Daga Gildith smiled faintly.

"He still has the puzzle box she gave him. Onsh-Solvirith has grown up a cleverer young man for it."

"If he's as sweet as his father I'll send him one of his own!"

Isonei looked up at him with a smile and Daga Gildith tilted her chin down to kiss her head.

"You should take it to him. Daga Solvirith was one of the loudest voices in support of Lothlaerith's choice to stop the Torgans from entering Leria for any reason other than discussing your return. With the exception of a few families who know better than to argue with the Dagas, the Arans pressed to have the gate reopened. Some of the Dagas agreed with them."

"I will. I'm very grateful that he remembers me fondly and that he supported Daga Lothlaerith's choice."

"I will tell him so."

He stepped back slightly and beckoned Maraphina closer,

"I would have the two of you rekindle a friendship."

"I told you I didn't want to speak to her, father."

Maraphina's icy green eyes narrowed and her upper lip curled slightly.

"My sister died because she-"

Daga Gildith lifted his hand a made a sharp gesture.

A weight pressed down on Isonei's chest and it took a moment to find enough breath to speak.

"Words fall short..."

"You hold no blame."

Daga Gildith spoke firmly.

"She chose-"

"She is to blame!"

Maraphina stepped forward and glared at Isonei,

"If she hadn't gone with the Torgan-"

Gildith put a hand on his daughter's shoulder and she dropped her eyes.

"You are questioning her Daga's choice to allow her to leave."

"She made the choice in Ara,"

Maraphina spoke quietly without looking up.

"If I hadn't made that choice I wouldn't have returned to my Daga's house. I wouldn't have seen that the reasons I stayed away were foolish and childish."

"Your foolishness killed my sister."

Maraphina hissed and lifted her eyes.

Isonei's chest ached but something angry raised its head inside her,

"No."

She paused to breathe,

"I may have made some poor choices but I will not take the blame for her actions."

Maraphina's glare of pure hatred caused Daga Gildith to step between them. Isonei leaned her head against his back for a moment as she composed herself and then reached up to gently squeeze his shoulder. He stepped aside and allowed her to meet Maraphina's scowl again.

"If you can explain to me how I am to blame,"

Isonei raised her hand to prevent the younger woman from speaking,

"not for choosing to spend time with Draeseth, but for her choosing to use your name and attempt to give a Torgan a Daga's name when I refused-"

"You had no name to give!"

Maraphina snapped.

"Arissa told me!"

"She knows the name of one Daga,"

Daga Gildith spoke frostily,

"Though, not her own. It is a name she overheard by accident as she visited him."

A look of understanding dawned on the young Lerian woman's face and she gave her father a nervous look,

"She could have given up your name?"

Seeing that the misunderstanding might help Maraphina understand the gravity, Isonei let it stand. She chose instead to speak with conviction,

"I would never give anyone a way to harm a Daga, not my father or brothers whom I love, not a Torgan King who threatened me with his displeasure, nor a Phaethian Princess who poisoned me in an attempt to force me to speak it. I will not even speak that name to my own Daga, not that he would ever ask such a thing of me.

"Varenia knew that what she was doing was wrong. She gave the Torgans your name to hide her own. Her suggestion that I give up a name to the Torgans has caused me more pain than you can understand but I'm not..."

Isonei took a breath,

"I'm not angry with her. Like my choice to spend a year with Draeseth, it put things in motion, some bitter and painful, and some necessary and even joyful."

Her throat closed and she looked to Daga Gildith helplessly.

"The betrayal of giving a Daga's name is a crime that must be punished harshly, what she did was worse, my child."

Daga Gildith's face softened,

"One of my own daughters attempted to betray a Daga and did not hesitate to betray her sister's trust and the trust of one who had been a friend. The daughter of Liadith holds no blame."

"But if she hadn't gone with him..."

Maraphina's head drooped slightly.

"Ialath might still be alive, and so might Varenia."

Isonei offered quietly,

"But I would not have returned to Leria. My Daga would not have had a Keran, or he would have had to borrow Varenia and it might have gone as poorly as it did with Daga Lothlaerith. Arissa might still be at home with you. No one would have found a way to free the slaves in Torga, people I have come to know and love would still be suffering. The Torgans would still be allied with the Phaethians instead of going to war with them."

"I won't apologize."

The younger Lerian shifted her feet.

"Neither will I."

Now that she knew the anger wasn't confined to Oyeth Lothlaeri, and that Ara might not be as welcoming as she expected if some of the Houses were resentful of the Dagas halting trade on her behalf, Isonei felt exhausted as if she hadn't slept at all in days. She would need to steel herself for more unpleasantness; if she began apologizing for her choice to stay with Draeseth for a year she'd be asked to do it again and again.

"Sweet girl..."

Daga Liadith beckoned and she moved to join him, struggling not to break into tears of grief and exhaustion as he embraced her.

"She should ride in father's carriage." Ivorith laid a hand on her back.

"She will ride with me and Daga Gildith. Isonei needs her Daga."

"Isonei needs her family."

"My Daga is family." Isonei sighed, composing herself to make peace.

"She will ride alone with me,"

Daga Gildith spoke firmly.

"The two of you are forcing her to mediate when she should be resting. Two families that love her as she loves them should not quarrel over who she spends time with."

"Agreed. Lord Eliorith and I need to have a discussion. I thought it could be put off a little longer."

Very gently, Daga Liadith disentangled himself and escorted her back to Daga Gildith.

"Maraphina should ride in my carriage with Hesh-Caeridith and the Sons of Mun. Do you speak Aran well, Hesh?"

"Passably."

"The Sons of Mun should be put at their ease."

"I understand, Daga Liadith."

Hesh gave Isonei a reassuring smile. "My Aran is so good as her Lerian was."

"Maraphina speaks it well."

Daga Gildith guided Isonei toward his carriage.

"Are you certain they don't need me to help?"

Isonei looked up at him nervously.

"Your Daga can be diplomatic when he wishes. The arguing should have come to an end by the time we reach your Daga's house."

Next to his carriage, the servants who had traveled with him were laying a small meal on a blanket. It wasn't until Isonei saw the tarts and little squares of cheese that she realized she was hungry.

"I used to enjoy the little picnics while traveling."

Daga Gildith sounded almost as tired as she felt.

"You don't anymore?"

Isonei leaned against him and squeezed his hand.

"It makes me grateful we use the Aran tables here."

He squeezed her hand back and she smiled.

"We could eat in the carriage."

She gestured toward it.

"If everything were laid out on the opposite seat it would be almost like a table."

"There is no need. The fresh air will be better for you and I can be helped from the ground."

Isonei took a seat next to him and nibbled her inner lip resisting the urge to look toward the other carriages as she heard her father say something, not quite loud enough to be understood, that sounded sour.

"While they speak of what they can bear, what would please you best, in regards to time spent with your families, child?"

Daga Gildith began filling a plate for her as he filled his own.

"All I want is to be able to move freely between my homes without anyone being angry with me."

She looked down at the plate remembering the dream of being lost in a maze made up of the two houses.

"You believe they will be angry with you?"

"I don't think my Daga will be. My father..."

Isonei rubbed her head.

"I don't know. I feel like I'm expected to choose just one place to call home and I can't. When I consider it I have nightmares of being lost in a maze made up of my home in Ara and my home with Liadith."

"In these dreams, are you alone?"

"Yes."

"What are you looking for?"

"I don't know, home, I think."

"I was told that at a certain age, an Aran woman is expected to leave her father's home and travel between the homes of her lovers, only returning for certain celebrations and in death."

"Yes."

Isonei took a breath.

"If your Daga will not keep you from visiting your home in Ara, perhaps you may consider spending more time with Liadith. I think your father has not been ready to share you with anyone and the Torgan allowed you to be away from his influence. It gave you a chance to see that you are not only Isonei of House Ernelis, you are more. You have known you were more."

Isonei felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise and she lifted her head to look into Daga Gildith's bright, green eyes.

"Speak to the elder Dagas.

"

"I will."

She looked back at her plate and forced herself to pick up one of the tarts.

They ate in silence for a short while with the sound of quiet conversations behind them.

"Why is Hesh traveling with you? I expected him to remain with his father."

"My Daga asked him if he would accompany me to Ara and bring me back in the month of Obris."

"Not to reintroduce him to Maraphina?"

His tone was slightly amused.

Isonei looked at the older Daga with a hint of a smile forming,

"He may have had more than one reason."

"I have no intention of offering my last daughter to anything less than an Onsh."

The pointed look he gave made her smile turn impish and he blinked, turning to look at other groups eating and conversing.

"He would suggest such a thing without speaking to me?"

"He hasn't suggested anything. Not to Hesh. Daga Caeridith became aware that we were considering broaching the subject by eavesdropping. Apparently, the elder Dagas were curious."

Daga Gildith's coughing laugh was matched by a glimmering in his eyes.

"Is he worthy of the consideration?"

"I think he is, but I have doubts about my judgment sometimes. I can tell you about how he brought me back from Torga if you'd like."

"I would. Eat first, child. We'll have time to converse in the carriage."

°°°°°°°°°°

Isonei leaned against Daga Gildith feeling uncertain.

"It isn't that I don't believe you, I'm just... I think I'm afraid to hope you're right."

"Child, I am not wrong. There may have been some Arans who intended to trade with the Torgans as if nothing had happened, but most of them believed that they could reach you more easily, or influence the Torgans into returning you safely, if Lothlaerith's Gate were open."

The older Daga squeezed her against his side reassuringly.

"The letter that I read in your Daga's house, I sent to Prince Andnaeuth after you were taken, with a letter of my own.

"When the false word of your death came, and Oberath brought the letters you had written of your loneliness, pleading for forgiveness and begging to come home, the Arans began trying to find a way. King Tamnaeuth refuses to declare war without the Dagas agreement. Though Lothlaerith wanted nothing more than to gather an army and march on Torga, cooler heads prevented it.

"However, he could not be persuaded to allow Torgans to cross freely under his gate as if they had done nothing wrong."

"I think they thought more highly of me because he stopped trade. They understood I had value."

"A double-edged sword, child. Had they not understood your value they might not have guarded you so jealously."

"They might also have been less considerate or more harsh. I'm very grateful trade was stopped."

"We were led to believe you were safe."

He gave her a slightly reproachful look and she did her best to look contrite.

"For the most part, I was. Or at least I thought I was."

Isonei sighed and closed her eyes for a moment.

"I have waited so long to see you again and rode to meet you,"

Daga Gildith sounded amused as he patted her side.

"And you wish to sleep?"

"Talk of Torga and thinking of unpleasantness that might be waiting at home in Ara makes me feel tired."

He helped her to sit up slightly,

"How do you think Hesh-Caeridith is getting along with my Maraphina?"

"I don't know. Burgath seemed to think she was interested in him, he was certainly interested in her. But I think Torgans may take any attention to be interest."

Shrugging slightly as the Daga gave her a cool look, Isonei continued,

"If she were interested in Burgath she may not be in Hesh. They're very different men. Burgath reminds me a great deal of Ialath, and Hesh may seem too simple and straightforward. He's a solid man, not a-a..."

She hunted for the right word.

Before she found it Daga Gildith frowned,

"Ialath could be arrogant, deceptive, and very charming. Hesh can be arrogant, but he is blunt. I understand."

His eyes dulled slightly,

"I hope that I raised her to value solidity over charm but I have come to doubt how well I raised my youngest daughters."

"From what I remember, you were a wonderful father, Daga Gildith. There were moments I wished you were mine. You were always fair. I don't think you did anything wrong in raising your daughters. I think... sometimes we all make poor choices. Some we have the opportunity to recover from if we can find the strength, and some we don't. No matter how hard our parents tried..."

Isonei lifted her head to meet his green gaze.

"That is true, sweet child. Even Dagas can make mistakes. Liadith should not have allowed the relationship between you and his son. Had one or both of you been told as children that you are a daughter of Liadith things would have come about differently."

"That's true."

There was a lull in the conversation as she looked back down, studying her hands.

"You've changed a great deal since I saw you last. In some ways, I think you've grown stronger, and in some, you seem more fragile. When you spoke to my youngest earlier, I was surprised at the way you said you would not apologize. Maraphina will reconsider eventually, but you sounded far more certain."

"If I start apologizing for choosing to leave Ara with Draeseth I'll never be allowed to stop. There are other things I may choose to apologize for but I can't apologize for that."

"She's barely of age, I don't think she understands the weight of an apology, nor the burdens that can bend our shoulders as we age."

"Some lessons are more pleasant than others. I heard my father say those words over and over..."

Isonei took a deep breath.

"I've heard you say them."

Daga Gildith took hold of her hands and gave her a faint smile.

"I had thought I understood them before Torga. Now they feel heavier."

"I will share with you something my mother used to say, 'Even the bitterest wind blows some good.' She tried to teach me to find the good at even the worst moments. None have been so bitter as,"

he paused,

"Varenia's judgment."

"I'm sorry for her loss, Daga Gildith."

Isonei swallowed a lump forming in her throat.

"Daga Caeridith believes as Daga Liadith does, that there should be redemption in punishment. In the council called to judge her, he suggested Varenia's life, which was forfeit, be given in such a way that it would strengthen yours."

The Daga lifted a hand to her face and gently tilted her chin up to look into her eyes.

"I have considered you to be like a daughter. I ask you now to live in such a way that the life that was given be redeemed."