Huge thanks to Todger65 for editing and Nthusiastic for beta reading and making suggestions!
*****
Looking out over the parapet as she had for weeks, Isonei leaned against the stone letting her mind wander. The smell of smoke followed her even out here, as did at least one discreet servant. At first, she thought she'd been allowed to walk the parapet alone and her mind had swum with thoughts of slipping down to the town below and taking a horse... And then she'd sat upon the stone parapet and leaned out, trying to peer down the wall out of curiosity. The shout had startled her so badly she'd nearly fallen.
Since then she had mostly looked out at the view and tried to think of how she might get home. Halloc Aurim was under the impression she was contemplating his lectures, translated by Krouth, on Ganas' glories and the virtues of the saints. Some of the stories were quite charming. Andnaeuth had been right when he'd said the cores of their religions were the same. Keep your word, be honest and kind. But the Torgans' religion was much more concerned with virtue and modesty and some of the stories she found appalling, stories of men and women who were immodest or looked to other Gods being punished horrifically.
"My Duchess?" Draeseth's voice drew her attention back.
"Your Highness?" Surprised, she turned slightly toward him as he joined her in leaning against the stone.
"I ache to be close to you, even to converse with you as we used to. But you do not seek me out. I think, perhaps, you avoid me."
"What do you want to talk about?" Isonei looked back out over the parapet.
After a moment's silence he answered, "Why you cannot forgive me. I wish to show you that I am still the man you chose to be with in Ara."
"You've lied to me and refused to tell me the truth. You've said you intend to break your word. From the stories Halloc Aurim has been telling me, I'm not supposed to forgive you until things have been put right."
He made an amused sound in his throat. "You sound so sullen. Perhaps you should come pray with us. It might help you rediscover your sweet disposition."
"Or you could tell me the truth." She rubbed her gloved hands together.
"Ask me." Draeseth moved closer and put his cloak around her.
"Did you send any of my letters?" Turning, Isonei looked up at him and saw the resignation on his face.
"No."
"Why? And why haven't I gotten any letters from my father or Andnaeuth?"
The large Torgan drew in a deep breath and pinned her against the stone wall, speaking softly, "Because they think you dead. Your Daga's messenger saw you and thought that you were. We-I covered you as if you were. He tied his sash around your body and left when I would not let him take you." He paused, "I sent missives with him..."
Her knees felt weak and if Draeseth had not kept her pinned she would have fallen to the ground.
"Breathe, my Isonei. Rail at me for my deceptions, but forgive me." He pulled her close and she could smell the smoke that lingered on his clothes.
"My Daga... my father... how could you? To hurt them, to hurt me that way..." To hear the truth from him finally felt like coming up for air after swimming in the sea.
"I was selfish; I wanted you to myself no matter the cost. That you love me... I thought it would be enough."
She trembled, letting him hold her close. "You have to tell them."
"It will be better for them if they think you dead, my Isonei. You may not return to them. It would part us permanently and the priesthood will not allow you to be returned to the Dagas. They are considered demons."
Letting her head fall forward against his chest, she closed her eyes. It was both heartening and heartbreaking to know that her Daga had not released her. He wanted her to come home but he had been deceived into thinking she was dead.
Draeseth kissed the top of her head. "I should have told you the truth when you first asked."
"You shouldn't have lied at all, Draeseth."
"I will strive to be truthful with you for the rest of our lives."
"Who was the man who pretended to be my Daga's messenger?"
"The tutor that had been sent for. Burgath arranged it with threats and a great deal of money. He still begged in Torgan as you fell to let him tell you the truth. It wounded him to cause you such pain."
"It didn't wound you?" Letting him stroke her back made her feel conflicted. She needed to go home and persuading him to return her was probably the only way, it would mean she needed to deceive him. The thought was still somehow unpleasant.
"It did. I thought I had killed you with my deception. You have been so fragile ever since." Draeseth murmured in Torgan as she wrapped her arms around his waist. "Do I still hold a piece of your heart, my wife?"
"It was a gift, I cannot take it back." That at least was true. It would be easier if she could.
His voice was a barely audible whisper in her hair, "Will you spend tonight in my bed?"
"Lislora may not forgive me if I do. Have you seen how she glows after spending time with you?"
He squeezed her tightly. "I have. I do, truly, understand why the Arans would take more than one wife. I care for her. But you are my wife and my heart is yours."
"Lover. We take lovers, my Draeseth. Having a husband is difficult and I don't recommend it to anyone."
With a snort, he kissed her head again. "It will grow easier." Stepping back, he offered her his arm. "Will you walk with me around the parapet?"
Isonei took his arm and let him lead her around the stoneworks. As high as the Keep was, the view looking out from its walls, the countryside of Torga sweeping away in places and rising in majestic peaks in others was breathtaking.
"I walk to enjoy the views; I have a great deal of pride in my home." Draeseth spoke quietly as they stood looking out over the valley. "The servants say you look more like a trapped animal walking the walls as if you seek a way to escape."
Nodding slowly she released his arm and leaned against the stone once more. "You should have pride in your home. It is lovely. But for me it's a beautiful cage, my Draeseth. I miss my homes with every fiber of my being. Not only my Daga's house, but my father's house in Ara."
"Are you allowing me to be close to you in the hope that I will let you go?"
A bitter smile crossed her lips; deception was not something she was gifted in. "The thought crossed my mind. But I have a face that betrays me and no skill with deceit. I have to rely on honesty and hope."
"I have been trading letters with Burgath concerning your unhappiness. He thinks that taking you to Court as our father requests might cheer you. You enjoy having people to speak to, and the austerity here may be too much."
"Austerity?" Isonei glanced at him in surprise. "I only have to mention to Krouth or Lislora that I might like something and I have at least two of whatever it was by the next day."
He barked a laugh. "He meant the... air here."