Tired of Being Sorry
The night smells so wonderful, even in this dirty city. It's quiet everywhere and very few people walk the streets at this hour. Even fewer good people. It gives me a chance to relax... a chance to think. Only a few lights are on to lighten my path, although I don't really need them. I stare up at the nearest streetlight and wonder if I could just turn it out with a thought.
The moon glares at me from above, all full of glory this evening. The buildings generally hide it from my sight, but I get the occasional glimpse as I walk along. My hand grazes the side of the building, the rough bricks let me actually feel something for a change. Sparks fly behind my transformed, diamond-hard nails as they cut grooves into the stone.
I hear the sounds of movement behind me, suddenly, but it doesn't really bother me. I know it's Allison, my girlfriend for the past three years. I can smell her... I can hear her heart beating... I can feel the rush of blood in her veins. It actually makes me smile, given the troubles we had recently, and I continue walking, wondering how long she'll follow me. I wonder if she'll find out my secret, and wonder what she'll do.
She really doesn't want to be involved with me now. Not now. Not since I've changed.
"Oh hey!" a man's voice said in front of me. "Look what we have here." Four young hoodlums were walking down the sidewalk towards me, obviously eyeing me as a victim. Nothing changed with my steps or my path as I headed straight for them, relishing the fight. They had no idea what I was. The four surrounded me quickly, taunting me.
"So, man, what'cha doing out so late all by yourself?" one asked.
"I think he's out trying to buy some cigs," said another.
"Hello? Sucker! The store's closed!" They all laughed.
The first man came up to me, standing nearly chest to chest. "But... um... we'll take your money," he said, grabbing the collar of my jacket. "Think of it as a.... donation."
I looked down at his hand, almost surprised he'd actually touched me. My eyes moved up his arm, slowly, until they rested on his face, with me staring into his eyes. My coal-black eyes suddenly flared red with hatred, surprising the man. I loved this moment in time. I saw the fear cross his face when he realized he picked the wrong person to victimize. He tried to back away, but it was too late. I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him to me, growling at him, nose to nose, baring my fangs. His hands and feet kicked and pushed, trying to make me release my grip. He was starting to realize that he didn't stand a chance.
My left hand grabbed his chin, slowly twisting his head side to side as I inspected his throat, seeing his throbbing artery. His heart was beating rapidly now... from fear. I could almost smell the blood that was pumping through him. Then I picked him up and threw him against the wall beside me and he slumped to the ground in a dead heap. His friends moved back a step wondering what had happened, wondering how they'd lost control of the situation so quickly. I turned towards them smiling, baring my white teeth, my fangs, baring my evil soul. They were getting ready to attack me, their knives and chains raised, when I growled at them, the incredible predatory sound almost making them piss their pants where they stood.
They all backed up several steps, shaking, more scared than they'd ever been in their lives. Then they suddenly bolted, running down the street as fast as their legs could carry them. I just stood there, laughing, looking at the dead body at my feet.
My mind flashed back to the last time I saw Allison... just four months ago. "I'm sorry," I said, holding my arms open towards her in supplication. "It just... happened. I didn't plan this... I didn't mean to hurt you. I don't ever want to hurt you."
She was crying... again. It seemed like we fought a lot at this point in our relationship. We'd been together for three years and it started out great. But things changed somehow and I didn't feel as comfortable with her any more. I felt like I couldn't do anything right. I felt like I hurt her so much that she was always suspicious of me. She was always wondering if I was up to something. I don't know if I'd have called it being paranoid or accepting the reality that she really couldn't trust me.
"I just can't believe you'd do this to me... again!" Her sobs ripped me to the core as she pushed into my chest, shoving me away from her.
It was four months ago, but it felt like it was yesterday. We argued until I got so frustrated that I grabbed my jacket and walked out the door. Unknown to her, I wasn't mad at her. I was mad at myself for making her feel this way. I needed to find myself. I needed to convince myself that I wasn't the monster that she saw me as.
I walked down the street in the darkness, not looking or caring where I went. My vision was clouded by the haze of my angry thoughts. I had no idea how far I'd walked or even where I was, off-hand, and sat on a bench at a bus stop. I put my head in my hands and wondered how I was ever going to make this up to her.
The sound of scraping against the brick wall of the buildings surprised me and I looked up. A beautiful woman was walking towards me, her hand against the wall, sparks flying from where her fingers touched the hard stone. She looked at me, hungrily, seductively, and I couldn't take my eyes off her. She wore a long, black cape, under which she wore a black mini-skirt and a backless wisp of a top that showed ample cleavage. Her legs swished as she walked, the black nylons and garter were extremely sexy and the high-heeled shoes clip-clapped with every step. She was a school-boys dream and knew it.
She smiled devilishly as she walked close behind the bench, never taking her eyes off me, as if beckoning me to follow her. When she passed, I looked down again, wondering what I should do. I really didn't want to hurt Allison any more and felt that if I stayed around her, I'd likely just cause more pain and suffering. But I needed contact with someone. I needed to know that someone wanted me. And this woman's attraction was so other-wordly powerful. I didn't know what I was doing, but I stood and turned to follow her. My seductress played coy, keeping just ahead of me, knowing I was following her. I kept back several paces, waiting to see where she was going.
I could hear the clicking of her heals on the concrete sidewalk, her ass swishing side to side. Every few steps she looked back at me, making sure I was still there. I could feel my blood boiling with desire and she knew it. She turned into an unmarked doorway and disappeared. When I reached it, I hesitantly looked down and could only see her shadow walking down the hallway at the bottom of the stairs. I looked around, hesitantly, wondering what I was getting myself into. I could hear the pulse of loud music from below and figured it must be some sort of underground dance club or something.
I walked down the stairs, eyes watching in front and behind, wondering if I was going to get jumped. This wasn't exactly the safest neighborhood this late at night. I was so scared, but so turned on at the same time. As I neared the bottom, I bent down and looked through the doorway, hoping to see more of what was ahead. The fluorescent lights flickered, making the shadows seem much more ominous. Ahead was a turn in the hallway to the left. The sound of the music was louder and I knew the party lay just beyond that bend.
I walked down the hallway, keeping to the right side, the farthest from the hallway bend. Just inside the turn was a heavy curtain that muffled most sound and kept all of the light away from me. I thought about bolting from the scene, my fear rising up suddenly. But a voice inside me kept me moving forward. I thought about Allison, wondering if she would cry or rejoice if I was jumped and killed...
I reached out and pulled the curtain open a little and was assaulted by the heavy beat of the dance music and the beams of light cast and moved by the rotating spotlights. There were a few bodies standing with their back to me just inside the doorway, but everyone else seemed to be dancing. The music was addictive, drawing me in with it's seductive rhythm. I stepped through and the bodies parted in front of me. I didn't even look at them, I just kept moving forward.
Both men and women were everywhere, partially dressed in sexy outfits. The smell of leather, lace, and latex assaulted me, turning me on. Many had collars and chains, with owners moving them around like dogs. Couples were around making out in the near-darkness as they gyrated together, almost to the point of full-blown sex.
I stood, looking around me, mesmerized by everything going on, the obvious sexuality, the sounds, the lights...
Hands suddenly surrounded me, started stroking me, and I watched helplessly as four scantily clad women began stroking and gyrating against me. My hips started swaying, my body moving to the rhythm with them, completely lost in the moment. I was so hard, so excited. I wanted these women so much, but they only continued stroking and dancing, making me hotter and hotter.
They turned me around and around, as they continued gyrating and dancing against me, until I was nearly dizzy. Then they suddenly stopped and my seductress stood directly in front of me. As she moved forward, the others slinked back and away, until she was the only one pressing her body against me, her arms encircling me, holding me tightly to her.
As the crowd continued dancing around us, she kissed me, passionately, making me forget about everything around us both. Her body was grinding against me, making me so hard and needy. I couldn't believe how badly I needed her, forgetting about everything else in my life.
She pulled away, holding both of my hands and walked backwards, pulling me with her. The crowd seemingly parted, giving her room as we moved past them easily. I could barely even look away from her. She smiled seductively as my eyes scanned up and down her delicious body. I felt my mouth go dry as I envisioned myself worshiping that lovely flesh.
Suddenly we spun about and I felt my knees strike a padded surface and fell backwards, sitting on a comfortable couch. She smiled again and moved forward, putting her knees on both sides of my legs, straddling me and sitting on my lap. Her head was just above mine as her hand rested on my shoulders, her breasts positioned right in front of my face.
