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This story was inspired by a friend of mine who says that she keeps dreaming that she used to be a man - a very unhappy man. She said she didn't know if it was "past life memories" or her subconscious telling her that she is lucky to be a woman. I thought of another possible explanation.
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It was late evening. The sun was setting and a full moon was just beginning to rise. I was walking on the beach, but not to enjoy the breeze or the view. I was debating with myself whether on not to swim out into the ocean until I was too tired to swim anymore and thus end it all. I'm told that if you aren't struggling against it, drowning is a rather quiet and peaceful death, but was death what I was seeking?
"To be or not to be?" That was my question, but I didn't yet have an answer. I knew I was miserable in my life, but should I just end my miserable life or "take up arms against it."
I had thought about ending it all before, but tonight was my final decision point. Either I ended it all tonight or I did something to turn my life around. Those were the only two options available to me. I had left everything but the swimsuit and T-shirt I was wearing at the apartment. I walked the two miles to the beach and as I walked out onto the sand, threw my sandals into the trash container next to the boardwalk. There was no way I could leave the beach.
When my roommates come home early tomorrow morning after a night out with their current girlfriends, they will find my wallet, my watch, my car keys, and my suicide note on the coffee table in front of the couch. I know how they will react. They will call the police or someone and come looking for me. If I am still walking on the beach, I will be forced to deal with my life. If I'm no longer on the beach, then my decision had been "not to be."
Tonight was decision night, but my decision was not yet made, so I kept walking... and walking... and walking. Then I saw something glowing dimly in the sand. It looked brassy or golden and was either reflecting the last light of the sun or the first light of the moon. Maybe it was actually glowing. In any case, it caught my eye and I was almost irresistibly drawn to it.
The mind does strange things when you are debating whether or not to kill yourself. Somehow I thought that if I could just uncover this glowing whatever, my choice would become clear. I started scooping sand away from the object.
As I knelt in the sand and dug with my hands, I slowly uncovered what appeared to be a giant golden lamp. I tugged on the handle and it loosened slightly, but the narrow handle almost cut into my hand and I was unable to pull strongly enough to free it from the sand.
I looked up and down the beach for something to wrap around the handle to cushion my grip. Except for starfish and plastic bottles, the beach was clear. I tried using a plastic bottle, but that didn't help. Finally I decided that since it was dark and I was wearing a long T-shirt no one would notice if I didn't have on any trunks. So I slipped off my swimsuit and wrapped it around the handle.
With the additional padding, I was able to pull with all my might, and as I did the lamp popped free of the sand. It didn't look exactly like what I envisioned Alladin's lamp to be. It was much larger, and more pot shaped, but it had a long neck and a handle like the drawings in the books. And it was definitely golden in color beneath a rather thick layer of dirt and soot.
I thought to myself, "It's probably some cheap tin sign that got washed away in a storm." But considering why I was on the beach, I figured I had nothing to loose and, after looking up and down the beach to make sure that no one would see me doing something really stupid, I rubbed it three times with my right hand.
As I was rubbing, I reached up to the cap with my left hand to steady myself. Suddenly it was as if a large amount of electricity stormed through me. I was thrown back onto the sand and a huge cloud of smoke and steam erupted into the air. I was surrounded by a blue-gray mist and in the center of that mist a dark form stood before me. He didn't have a solid body, but the mist and smoke were darker in his shape. The smokey figure said, "I am the genie of the lamp. You have rescued me. So, as a reward I grant you three wishes."
I wanted to say something really cool and sophisticated, but all I managed to say was "Holy Shit!"
To which the Genie responded, "Your three choices have been recorded and your life has been changed accordingly."
"Wait a minute," I sputtered. "I didn't choose anything. Don't I get to choose?"
"We used to do it that way," he responded with a grin, "but people always ended up unhappy with what they got. Either they didn't know what would make them happy, or they didn't have the guts to ask for what they really wanted. So now, we just read the depths of your heart and mind and soul and give you the top three things that will make you happy. The first is already in place. The others will soon fall into place."
"So what did I wish for?"
"Your first wish is that you would be a beautiful young woman, and so you are."
"Wait a minute, smoke man." I replied. "Shouldn't that be 'handsome man?' I am a guy, after all."
