The Time War Ch 33

Chapter 33: The Deinvention of the Light Bulb

Luddites:

The day finally came when Bradley realized that his marriage to Maggie had become a total sham. He had been reconciled to sharing Maggie with Tom as part of their "quad", even though as part of their "quad" he theoretically also should have been able to bed Donna. But Donna wanted nothing to do with him, and increasingly, it seemed Maggie was beginning to feel the same way. Every time Tom invited Maggie into his bed she would tiptoe to him with a spring in her step, but when Brad asked for the same opportunity, there was always an excuse. She was too tired. She had a headache.

The latest was that she was on her period. Well, one night, after they went to bed, Bradley woke up in the middle of the night and found Maggie gone. He found the courage to pad over to Tom's bedroom. He opened the door and-

Saw Maggie riding up and down excitedly on Tom's penis.

"Oh, Brad," said Maggie, not skipping a beat.

"I... I thought you were on your period," said Bradley, watching his wife ride up and down on Tom Stoyer's penis.

"I... I guess I was wrong," she giggled. She turned back to Tom and continued to ride him, totally unashamed.

"Close the door when you leave, will you, Brad?" said Tom, smiling at his friend.

*********

Donna's predicament was almost as bad. She had walked in on Tom and Maggie two nights earlier while they were lying in bed together. The room reeked of sex. Donna took a deep breath and told Tom that she thought Tuesdays were their night together.

"Did we say that? I don't remember that," said Tom, with one arm around Maggie, who snuggled against him with a smile.

"We did," said Donna. "So... do you want to help me out, or not, Tom?" She felt so degraded, asking like that while Tom was arm in arm with another woman. But this is what their relationship had fallen to.

"All right," Tom sighed. "Get undressed."

Donna hurriedly stripped off her clothes. But she looked puzzled when she saw that neither Tom or Maggie had moved an inch. She at least had expected Tom to send Maggie from their bed.

She was wrong.

Tom had her get on the bed and lie down in a puzzling position. He told Donna to lie with her head on the other side of the bed, where his feet were. How was he going to make love to her from all the way on the other side of the bed?

She soon found out. Tom had her spread her legs, which she found even more humiliating. Then he looked at Maggie, sighed and said, "Excuse me, Honey" and lifted one leg above the covers. He moved his foot forward until his big toe made contact with her vagina.

No. He couldn't be serious.

He was.

Tom started to thrust his big toe in and out of her vagina, with a bored expression on his face. Any self respecting woman would have gotten up and left at that point, but Donna just lay there, letting Tom put it in her.

"Are you getting closer, Honey?" Tom asked, after a minute or two. Maggie giggled.

Donna was most definitely

not

getting closer to anything. But somehow, she felt trapped, that she would be even more humiliated by not climaxing. And so she started to moan and groan, to put on a show. And then before long she cried "Oh... oh... oooohhhhhhhh....." She closed her eyes and "came". But when she heard giggling, she opened them again, to find Tom kissing and cuddling with Maggie again.

********

"We are about to embark on our greatest mission ever," Tom said over breakfast.

Everyone was all smiles, except Donna and Brad.

"What is it, Tom?" asked Carole Wells.

"We are going to make sure that the light bulb, the hideous, evil light bulb, doesn't get invented."

Everyone blinked.

"No light bulbs?" said Bob Novato. "So... we go back to using candles?"

"No!" said Tom. "Of course the light bulb will get invented. It will just take a few years longer, maybe 50 or 60 years. But that half century delay will delay the relentless march of technology for so many other devices. This heavily electronic world we live in will become just a little less technical, and maybe a little more human."

Everyone started to nod among themselves, even if they were a bit uncertain about it.

"So, are we going to kill Thomas Edison?" That was from Gerstad Mueller. Gerstad was among the most radical of their little group.

"There's no need," said Tom. "In fact, it would be far better if Edison continued his work on the light bulb, but find it failed at every turn. It would help discourage others." He smiled. "And here is how we are going to do it."

********

"What do I need with a new assistant?" said Thomas Edison grumpily.

"He's smart, he's bright, and he's young," said Daniel Acton.

Thomas Edison looked at John Calle. "Doesn't look so young to me."

"He's in his second career."

"Eh? What did he do before?"

"He worked on...."

"Don't you have a tongue, boy?" said Edison, staring at John Calle.

"I have a tongue, sir," said Calle. "I worked on locomotive engines."

"Really?" said Edison. He stared at Calle aggressively. "Then I suppose you can tell me what turns the rotors in the manifold above the fire?"

"Compressed steam, sir, created by the burning of the coal in the flames," said John Calle evenly.

"Hm," said Edison. He turned to Daniel. "Don't need another apprentice."

"This will not exactly be an apprentice," said Daniel. "He'll be an intern."

"Don't need one of those either," The old man grunted, turning away.

"-which means we'll pay you."

"How much?" Edison was instantly interested.

********

Thomas Edison was a grumpy old man interested in only three things: money, even more money, and sex with his mistresses. There was a woman he knew in a rooming house in Princeton, not a whore, mind you, but one of those fancier ladies, who knew what she was doing and how to treat each man like a king, a woman who knew how to please him every bit as much as Edison's wife couldn't or wouldn't. But the problem was, he couldn't see her body clearly at night. Those kerosene lamps gave off so little light! And Greta had such big titties! Edison could

feel

them. He just couldn't see them all too clearly.

So Thomas Edison was on a mission to electrify the world... starting with the bordello where he was having relations with Greta the high class whore.

Unfortunately, things were not going so well. He was able to create lights, but none lasted more than a few seconds. He thought to pump all the air out of the bulbs, but that still didn't help. He was stymied, and grumpy about it.

Perhaps he could persuade Greta to have sex with him during the day, with the windows open?

********

After a price was agreed upon, Calle asked Edison how he could serve him. "See my secretary," he said, with a wave of his hand as he left the lab.

"Well, this is it," said Daniel. "Good luck, John." He extended his hand.

Calle shook it, and then Daniel left.

Calle started looking around Edison's lab. Truthfully, he didn't know what he was looking for. He reached out for one of Edison's famous bulbs when he heard a feminine voice, probably Edison's secretary, say, "Hey, you shouldn't be touching that."

He turned to see Donna standing there, holding a compression pistol on him.

"It can burn you if you get too close," said Donna. "I would have thought you would have learned that lesson by now, John Calle."

********

Once again, Donna had to decide whether or not to shoot Calle. But, always indecisive, she took him out to lunch instead.

As they sat down in a cozy booth, Donna said, "I didn't bother to disarm you this time. Shall we have some ground rules?"

"Ground rules?"

"No shooting during lunch."

Suddenly, Calle realized she was flirting with him.

"All right," said Calle.

"You have cute dimples when you smile," said Donna, as she took a bite out of her sandwich.

"Thanks," said Calle, feeling a slight chill down his spine.

"I haven't seen you in a while," said Donna. "Let me see, the year now is what, 1877?"

"1878," said Calle.

"Thank you. The years do slip by! Let me think, the last time I saw you was in the year 2000, right? I so rudely interrupted my colleague Maggie as she was about to murder you. I still feel so badly about that."

"What you lack in courtesy you more than make up for with a sunny smile," said Calle.

And then she gave him that sunny smile. "That's the first nice thing you've ever said about me, John Calle! Maybe there's hope for you yet," said Donna.

"You... you...." Calle was at a loss for words.

"What?" said Donna innocently.

"You seem like... such a

nice

girl!"

"Why, the compliments are simply flowing like water today, aren't they? I'll have to remember not to shoot you more often, John Calle," said Donna. The flirty brunette smiled again at him, and he found himself smiling back.

"How... how can a nice, cute girl like you be mixed up in a thing like this?" Calle asked. "I always imagined terrorists as being-"

Donna sat up abruptly. "Hey John Calle! You don't insult me and I don't insult you! Easy on the 'terrorist' label there!"

"Sorry," said Calle, raising his palms for a moment. He carefully rephrased the question. "How can a nice person like you be so involved...."

"In a thing like this?" she said, finishing his question for him.

"Yes."

"Love," said Donna, taking a bite out of her salad. "Umm, this is really good! Want to try it?"

Calle shook his head.

"Typical man. Yes, love, John Calle, which ultimately is the reason most people do what they do... but especially women," said Donna.

"You're... you're involved with Tom Stoyer," said Calle.

Donna smiled at him. "For more than 12 years. We used to be inseparable."

"Used to be?"

Donna sighed and dropped her fork abruptly. "You're an enemy spy out to destroy everything I fight for. Can I trust you with a little secret, John Calle?"

"Go ahead." There was something

very cute

in the way she called him John Calle. Just like Marion used to.

"Our relationship isn't what it once was. Never enter into a quad, John Calle, not without your eyes being wide open."

"Oh, I never would," said Calle.

Donna picked up her fork again and pointed it accusingly at Calle. "He'll tell you things will be the same. He'll tell you things will be

even better

. More love to spread around, he'll say."

"But it won't work like that, will it?"

"No," said Donna, swallowing a cucumber with a gulp. "It won't. Or it didn't. Or whatever."

"So... why are you still working for him?"

"I love him. I told you. Is there anything you wouldn't do for love, John?"

Marion.

"I see your answer. It's written all over your face," said Donna. "Tell me, why are you still working for them?" She stared at him keenly. "There's someone, isn't there? A woman."

Calle thought of Sarah. He certainly hadn't joined the Continuity Service because of her. But with Sarah it had all been easier... much easier....

"I'm not seeing anyone right now," he said.

"Meaning you broke up. Or you're taking a break. Either way, you miss her."

"How....?"

"In your eyes," said Donna, finishing her salad. "Oh, that was good! Well, I'm done, and I see so are you. So what do we do now, draw on each other? I have to warn you, I'm pretty quick, and it would be really hard to miss you at this range."

Calle frowned. "You already have had two opportunities to shoot me. In fact, in our last encounter, you prevented your colleague from shooting me. I don't think you're going to shoot me now," said Calle.

Donna got a gleam in her eye. "Really? Are you quite sure, John Calle? Because from where I'm sitting, bringing Tom your head is just the sort of thing that would get me back in his good graces." She leaned forward and matched stares with him.

Calle took a deep breath and reached out with his senses. "No," he shook his head. "You're not a cold blooded killer."

Donna took a deep breath and stared at him. Then she nodded slowly. "Maybe you are starting to learn something about girls after all."

She got up from the table. "I won't be going back to work. You might say my work is done there. Good luck figuring it out, John Calle... or should I say bad luck?" She leaned forward, and startled Calle when she kissed him on the cheek. "Yum. Forbidden enemy. Tastes really good!"

And then she was gone, sauntering out of the restaurant without a care in the world.

*********

When Calle returned to Edison's workshop, he kept looking around. The workshop smelled odd, of all different kinds of chemicals, which was understandable, given what Edison was working with. Years later, his lab would be declared a toxic waste site which had to be decontaminated before being turned into a "museum of science".

Calle picked up one of the bulbs, one of the many bulbs that worked for only a few seconds. He looked at it, then raised his eyebrows. Then he went to the bathroom, and opened a gateway back to the Continuity Service Headquarters. In seconds, he was back in the year 2554.

********

"Yes... yes, I see it," said Doctor Vladek, looking at a schematic of the bulb, which was under his particle analyzer. "There are microscopic holes in the glass, there, there, there and there. A rather odd pattern."

"Why odd?" Calle asked.

"Well, it just seems so... completely random," said Vladek. "But in any case you have your answer. The Luddites sabotaged his bulbs, creating microscopic holes so that there would be no vacuum in the bulbs. Without a vacuum, the bulbs would only work for seconds, even if the air was pumped out of them."

"So... can we fix these bulbs?"

Vladek frowned. "It would be easier to fabricate new ones. We can make ones that will look just the same as the original."

"Without holes?'

Vladek smiled. "Of course."

********

"Why don't you try this bulb, Doctor Edison?" Calle asked.

"Why should I?" said Edison. "I've tried fifty bulbs. Is 51 really going to make a difference?"

He was on the verge of giving up. Calle willed himself not to panic. "Please, Doctor, I have a good feeling about this bulb."

"Oh, well, if you have a good feeling about it, that's what the scientific method is all about, isn't it?" said the Professor. He sighed and yanked the bulb from Calle's hand, then hooked it up to his homemade battery. The bulb lit up... and then went out, a few seconds later.

"I guess your good feelings weren't enough," said Edison. "But be sure to keep me informed of all your other feelings. They might prove invaluable." He stomped out of the lab.

Calle looked at the bulb. It was a bulb given to him by Doctor Vladek. They had tested it in the year 2554. It had worked then. It should have worked in the year 1884. The laws of physics were the same in both years... weren't they?

********

Doctor Vladek's eyebrows went up when he tried to get the bulb to light up, and it wouldn't.

"This is the same bulb I gave you to give to Doctor Edison?"

"Yes," said Calle.

"It worked before, but doesn't work now," said Vladek.

"I see that," said Calle.

"Did the bulb leave your eyesight for any length of time?"

Calle thought about it. "Yes," he said. "I put it down on the lab bench for a few minutes when I went to get Doctor Edison. Are you saying that a Luddite agent came in, made tiny holes in the bulb, and left without being detected?"

"It sounds unlikely, but seems possible."

So they tried again with another bulb. They tested it in the year 2554, and then Calle tested it again in the year 1884, as soon as he got back to the lab. It worked. But in the time it took to rouse Doctor Edison to come to the lab, the bulb stopped working. This time Calle had the bulb in his possession the entire time. It never left his sight.

********

"Someone is trying to be very clever," said Vladek, rubbing his chin. "The bulb works here. The bulb works there, when you try it. But then it doesn't work when the Professor is there. Could there be some kind of dampening field on the professor?"

Calle shook his head. "I scanned him with my Pad when he wasn't looking. There's nothing."

Vladek paced back and forth. "The bulb works when you first come into his lab, but not when the Professor is present... John, how long does it take for you to find the Professor when you come to his lab?"

Calle shrugged. "It depends. To rouse him, and persuade him to try, and wait for him to get a cup of tea... maybe 15, 20 minutes."

"Fifteen or 20 minutes... hm.... Tell me, John, do you notice any strange smell in the lab?"

"Actually, I do," said Calle. "It smells of chemicals."

"I want you to go back to the lab, and scan for Algemorite."

"Algemorite? I've never heard of it."

"I'm not surprised. It's an extremely rare element, only artificially producible in lab conditions. Go and scan for it."

Calle went back to 1884 and scanned for it. He returned to Vladek's lab a few subjective minutes later.

"The lab has 20 parts per million of Algemorite," said Calle. "But Algemorite hasn't even been invented yet."

"Exactly," said Vladek, patting him on the shoulder. "But it does have the property of rendering glass molecules highly unstable."

"Causing the microscopic holes in the glass," said Calle.

"Precisely," said Vladek. "The Luddites realized we would come to investigate. They wanted to make the most subtle interference possible, one we wouldn't detect. They almost succeeded."

"So... what can we do? Can we air out the lab?"

Vladek shook his head. "Not with any means available in the 19th century. It's already at 20 parts per million, you won't easily get lower than that."

"So what you seem to be saying is that light bulbs can never work in Thomas Edison's lab?"

Vladek slowly nodded.

*********

"I don't want to hear you failed. That's quitter talk," said Strayker, glaring at them.

"There is no way to get conventional light bulbs to work in that laboratory," said Vladek.

Calle added, "And I can't think of how I'm going to get Edison out of his lab to test them somewhere else. He already thinks I'm crazy."

Strayker looked at him.

"He's... he's the one whose crazy," said Calle defensively.

"All right, people. Think! We can't get traditional bulbs to work in there. What

can

we get to work there?"

Vladek paused for a long moment. "Well... this is a crazy idea...."

"Crazy ideas seem to be all we have right now," said Strayker. "What is it?'

"Well, we could make up a bulb which looks like one of Edison's bulbs, but in actually has an LED filament. It wouldn't require a vacuum."

"And it would work in his lab," said Strayker.

"Edison never need know that his prototype has advanced technology in it. It shouldn't alter the timeline," said Vladek.

"Do it," said Strayker.

********

The rest was history. Calle somehow persuaded Edison to try one last bulb. When he did, he was ecstatic to see it burn, and burn, and keep on glowing. His mission had been a success.

********

A little

too

successful. Colonel Strayker called Calle and Doctor Vladek into his office. "It seems we didn't give the good Doctor Edison enough credit."

"What do you mean?" said Calle.

"He evidently discovered the LED lighting inside the test bulb."

"Oh no," said Calle.

"So now in our present, we have something called subspace lighting. It's years ahead of where we should be in lighting technology," said Strayker.

"Do you... do you want us to go back and fix it?"

"And risk looping yourself?" Strayker said. The Colonel turned to a wall behind him which had a swirling pattern of lights and colors and stared at it for a long moment. Finally, he sighed. "No. It's far from perfect, but it's good enough. The more we do this job, the harder it seems to get." He faced them. "Just leave it. That's all."