Chapter 21: The Force is Female
The Temporal Social Justice Warriors:
The girls ran out of patience.
Maria always gave them the worst jobs, like cooking and cleaning, while the men got all the high level planning work. Worst of all, none of the missions they had gone on had specifically benefitted women. It was nice that they tried to murder Christopher Columbus, and help Vietnam conquer California. But what did that have to do with women's issues? Quite honestly, nothing.
And so the girls were almost in an open state a revolt, a state of revolt even Maria's most feminine penis could not quell, when Maria finally decided to announce that they were about to embark on a mission which would benefit women, and only women.
The girls were all excited. Chloe Weatherly thought that Maria was going to swap out the Founding Fathers and replace them with Founding Mothers. Dana Slotkin thought the first twenty American presidents would become women. Alyssa Goldenfrau was sure that Maria would find a way to give all women penises as big and erect as Maria's often was.
But it was not to be.
"Girls, I have a tremendous announcement," he said. "We are going to take one of the greatest cultural icons of the 20th century, and make it a female only domain. We are going to totally, 100%, feminize...
Star Wars
."
Their faces all fell flat. None of them cared a bit about a science fiction film, even if it was one of the most famous films of the 20th century.
"How will this help women?" Dana Slotkin asked.
"How will this help women? How will this help women?" said Maria, reaching out and hugging her tight. "I'll tell you how. When women and girls go to the theater, and see dashing, swashbuckling women in charge, in command, it will inspire them, by the millions. It will show them that they can be heroes, that they can do anything their hearts desire!"
The girls didn't look convinced.
"Just wait, and see," Maria promised.
********
The girls were not the only ones who were unsatisfied. Ahmed Ahmad was unhappy that Maria still wasn't doing anything to spread the faith of Laquinta to the masses. He didn't care in the slightest who ruled California or how many females were in some antiquated film. He kept complaining and Maria kept patting him on the back and telling him, "Soon, my friend." Well, soon had better come... soon. So Ahmed thought.
But even
more
unhappier than Ahmed was Keith Ashanti. After Maria had slept with Hillary once, Hillary had promised him that under
no
circumstances would she do so a second time. And so, it was with utter surprise that one evening, at the end of a fine meal, when the situation started to unravel.
Pablo Guzman and his wife Joy Montana, the newest recruits, were still getting used to the customs of Maria's little group. And so when Maria took Joy in his arms, and gave her a kiss, Pablo's eyes went wide. And when Maria started to fondle Joy's large breasts, Pablo stood up and said, "Hey, what you doing, man?"
Maria looked surprised. "I'm simply redistributing the sexual wealth, Pablo."
"What?"
"Here we believe in total equality. You believe in redistribution of wealth and total equality, don't you, Pablo?"
Pablo suddenly became aware of Red Bull and John Cummings standing near him, with grim expressions on their faces. "Uh, yeah..."
"So, redistribution of sexual wealth, and total sexual equality of wealth is no different... is it?" Maria said, smiling at Pablo as he fondled one of Joy's breasts. Joy reddened and looked away.
"Uh... but it is different," said Pablo. "The other girls... they have no men, no one objects to what you do to them."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that," said Maria. He let Joy go. "Hillary dear. Come here please. I think you can help me provide a teachable moment to Pablo here."
Hillary gave Keith a worried glance, but quickly tiptoed over to Maria. "That's a girl. Kiss me, dear."
Hillary leaned in and kissed Maria, then pulled back.
"Is that how you kiss your lesbian lover? I said kiss me," said Maria, his tone growing dark.
Hillary hugged Maria, and gave him a passionate kiss. It lasted a long moment. When she pulled back, Maria had a shit eating grin on his face.
"That's better, dear. You see Pablo, Hillary is married to Keith. But Keith believes in redistributing his sexual wealth, don't you, Keith?" He gave Keith a hard glance, even as one of his hands snaked over Hillary's breasts.
"Yes," said Keith quietly.
"Oh! I think something's come up," said Maria, grinning as he fondled one of Hillary's tits through her shirt. "Joy, dear, we'll pick this up another time. Come with me, Hillary. Let's redistribute some more of that luscious sexual wealth of yours."
Hillary gave Keith a helpless glance as she let herself be led to Keith's sleeping quarters. When the door clanged shut behind them, it echoed throughout the dining area.
********
"We're leaving!" said Keith, the following morning. Hillary had returned to their sleeping quarters a few minutes earlier. She had tried to hug Keith but he pushed her away; she had that freshly fucked look, and Keith didn't even want to think about what was swimming its way up her vagina right now.
"We can't leave!" said Hillary.
Keith continued to pack.
"Did you hear me?" said Hillary. She grabbed his arms. "Maria won't let us."
"He can't stop us," said Keith.
"Yes, he can," she said softly.
Keith bit his lip and sat down on the bed. "What have we gotten ourselves into?"
"I didn't think it would be quite like this," said Hillary.
"Neither did I," said Keith. "I'm into social justice and redistribution and sticking it to whitey as much as the next guy, but... not this."
Hillary looked down for a long moment. Then she said, "I'll draw the line."
"What?" said Keith.
"I'll tell Maria that was the last time," said Hillary. "The first time, I understood. To show his authority over... us. The second time, to demonstrate it to Joy and Pablo. I'll tell Maria that this is the end. No more."
"Do you think he'll listen to you?"
"I think so," said Hillary. "After all we're both black women of color. We have too much in common not to see eye to eye on things."
*********
They started in 1969, seven years before the first
Star Wars
movie was filmed. Since
Star Wars
hadn't been created yet, there were no pesky copyright issues. Maria obtained a pitch meeting with executives at Columbia pictures and described the film he had in mind.
"A spaceship which can blow up galaxies?"
"A woman in a mask named Dorothy...."
"Dorothy Vader," said Maria, smiling thinly.
"An all-female cast?"
"It will be just like
Barbarella
," said Maria, referring to the smash scifi erotic hit released the previous year about Jane Fonda being fondled in various ways by space aliens.
"Just like Barbarella?" a studio executive grimaced. He didn't see any of that in the script. The women in this script were all brave and bold and... well, much too
clothed
to be like