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The Tattooed Woman Volume 2 - Chapter 15: Now She Dreams of Flames
Ellén looked over the table at the buxom barmaid seated across from her and gestured with her spoon as she asked, "Tell me Iris, must I permit these ridiculous primates to touch my person and posterior as I serve their libations? I asked Cassie about it, and she told me to, "Crush their skulls like an egg," but I suspect this might be viewed as somewhat excessive."
They were seated in the scullery at lunch, eating soup and Narissa chuckled at the query, "Och, she's just a wee bit upset that both Adair and Captain Ashunara adamantly refused her pleas to accompany them on campaign. Hell, she hasn't spoken to me in days because I agreed with their ban, she'll get over it in time."
Iris nodded, "Maggie took some vittles to her room and doubtless spoke a few gentle words, she's just fearful is all, and thus testy. She means no ill by it," she sniffed, "has some buffoon been pawing at you Ellén?"
"Indeed, I confess it's not something I'm used to, but there are so many things I'm unfamiliar with when it comes to the habits of folk that I thought I would ask your advice."
"Huh, well, for myself it depends on whether they've rendered me a tip, and how overly familiar they have become."
"Tip?"
The barmaid stared at her incredulously, "Seriously? Yes, a tip. You know? An extra coin or two for your service, and your smiles. A bonny lass like yourself must have gotten a few tips even in the few days you've worked here?"
Ellén smiled happily at the compliment, "You think me fair then do you, and perhaps worthy of a... tip?"
The barmaid looked at the increasingly peculiar girl and took in her perfect figure, long fair hair and ridiculously brilliant blue eyes and shook her head in bewilderment, "You're jesting surely? You look like a damned Princess from a fairy tale."
The Dragon shook her head with a chuckle, "I'm no Princess, that would be Adair you're thinking on, and as for this body, why I simply fashioned it to appear as my mother I suppose, for what daughter does not want to emulate her dam?"
Taking in the strange looks she was being given Ellén hesitated, "Um, I mean I tried to copy her appearance if you, ah, know what I mean..."
Narissa looked up from her soup, "Wait, Adair is a Princess you say?"
"Well, her mother is a Queen after all, so I suppose she must be."
"You know her mother?"
Ellén looked down at her bowl and murmured, "We've not met as such."
Iris grinned, "Maybe one day, eh? Would that not be something, if a Queen came to eat here among us common folk Mistress Narissa?"
The Dark Elf nodded cheerfully, not noticing the look of horror that crossed Ellén's features as she imagined how such a terrifying event might unfurl.
Brutus, the burly ostiarius Narissa had only recently employed looked up as he tore off a chunk of fresh loaf and mopped his bowl. He was an imposing figure, with a fine horseshoe moustache, and wearing a rough leather tunic revealing heavily muscled arms that were thicker than her thighs, while the iron chain collar around his neck identified him as having been an arena slave. He grinned as he finished the food and reached for his ale with a chuckle, "Mayhap she'd leave a royal tip then Iris, and you could buy your freedom, eh?"
Narissa eyed the girl shrewdly at the comment and mused, "Would that be a thing you'd fancy then Iris?"
The barmaid sniffed and looked down at her bowl with a sigh, "What lass does not dream of freedom of one kind or another Mistress?"
She shook her head sadly, "But, t'is a dream is all, for in truth I would not know what to do with it if I had it. I've nowhere to go, and any kin I have left would not remember me even if I found them after so very long."
The Dark Elf nodded, "How long have you been among the Fae now?"
Iris chuckled, "Oh, thirty-odd years mayhap, t'is difficult to remember, for I was little more than a lass when I ran away, and the years can pass strangely here."
"And you never bought your freedom in that time? Were your Mistresses such miserly skinflints then that you had not the coin?"
The barmaid shrugged, "Some were, some weren't, you know how it is."
Narissa pursed her lips, "Oh aye? And how is it then?"
"Huh?"
"Well, Maggie says you were asking after me when I was abed. Was this some sentimental concern after my wellbeing that she saw Iris? For shame girl!"
Iris blushed and tried to fob it off, "Well, t'was nothing of the sort! I mean, it's just, you know, you've been decent to me is all. Even if you are..."
Narissa's grin was a mischievous one, "A Dark Elf, Dökkálfar, Dark Eldar, a Nightling Witch, She-Elf and a slaver to boot?"
"I'd never say such things!"
"And why not? T'is true enough," she grinned, "but for all that we're still friends are we not?"
Iris shook her head with a smile, "T'is cruel you are to be teasing me so Mistr-"
"Oh, stop that! My Name is Narissa as you bloody well know, you call me it often enough when you're in your cups. And you definitely shouted it out often enough that night when we..."
With a spectacular blush the barmaid interrupted hurriedly, "Ah, there's no call for you to be telling tales now is there!"
"Did I not offer you your freedom then?"
With a vulpine grin Iris sighed, "Oh, you offered me many things that night."
"So why didn't you take it?"
"I was drunk."
"Is that it?"
The barmaid muttered unintelligibly as she concentrated on her soup.
"Stop mumbling into your bowl, damn you."
"I SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE!"
"Then don't."
"Huh?"
"You're loyal, and you have a good heart, that's something you can't buy, so take off the collar, keep the collar, I don't care, that's up to you, but you don't have to leave Iris. You can stay either way, for I'd not turn you away."
"Truly?"
Narissa gave the woman a wolfish smile, "I told you, we're friends, and mayhap this way I won't feel like I'm taking advantage the next time we're both drunk and I feel like taking advantage."
Ellén raised a finger for attention, "If you two are quite finished being so strange, my questions still remain unanswered."
"Huh? Oh, about lads touching your arse? Well, if it's all friendly like and they've left a tip I tend to laugh it off and perhaps flirt a bit. But if some jackass tries to put his hand up my skirt, which is a bloody liberty, or tries to maul my tits, which I fucking despise, then I usually slap his idiot face for him or upend a tankard of ale over their head. But if you feel unduly put upon, just give Brutus a wave and he'll sort them out right quick."
The big man nodded amiably and hefted his cudgel, "That's what we're here for girl. Give a shout and I'll bash them good for you, then we just go through their pockets and turf them out."
Narissa waved an admonishing finger, "None of that now, we'll not be robbing customers, well, not unless they're truly irritating, I suppose."
Brutus shrugged, "Ach, you'll be taking all the fun out of it, but even so," he turned to Ellén, "should anyone lay an unwanted hand upon ye just say the word and I'll tear it off and shove it up the miscreant's arse."
She nodded happily as she refilled his tankard for him, "Oh, that's very kind of you Brutus, but I would not want to be a bother, I could do that myself easily enough after all."
The man tipped back in his chain and bellowed a laugh at her apparent jest as he accepted the drink, "Well, mayhap you could at that, as fierce a wee thing as you are girl, but don't be doing me out of a job now, for I need the work, and I definitely need the coin."
She smiled shyly, "As long as you're sure t'is no trouble."
"Oh, none at all!"
Ellén drew a breath and blushing slightly she looked back at the barmaid, "Um, Iris?"
"Aye?"
"There is actually another question I would ask? One of a more pressing nature methinks."
"Oh? Do tell?
"It's something of a personal matter but..."
The barmaid chuckled, and eyed the woman speculatively, "Aw, you've not found a sweetheart have ye?"
"Well, in truth, I think I may have, and you being such an earthly creature I thought to ask your counsel?"
Iris frowned slightly, "Earthly creature?" Looking across at Narissa she mused, "Is she calling me an easy lay?"
The Dark Elf could not help but giggle at the womans aggrieved tone and nodded, "Pretty much, but you know Iris, if the shoe fits and all that?"
Ellén protested, "I meant no insult, truly, but its advice of that nature I am most desperate for. You see I thought to woo Cassie to my bed. Now I considered just carrying her off to my bower and having my way with her, but that seems to be not the done thing hereabouts, so I wondered if you could lend me advice on how to go about it?"
Narissa choked...
...
Chulainn gave a groan of discomfort as he sat down next to the old woman. He looked at the bloody corpses lying scattered about and sighed, "Sorry about the mess."
The woman chuckled, "Oh, do not concern yourself, it's surprising how often this sort of thing happens hereabouts," she turned to him, and he saw the mischievous twinkle in her dark eyes, "you know, I begin to suspect some unlucky spirit lingers about the place."