The Sighs of the Priestess

**ARGH!!

I had wanted to write only one more chapter of this and then bring the Martu uprising to an end so that I could pick up with "The Witch's Want" again. This was only to show the back story of the male lead in that story - how his parents waged war and how it became Ur-Nammu's history and the fabric of his life. Uh, the first time, anyway.

But here we are, 9 chapters in as I struggle to tie up some ends. Ah well, at least Ur-Nammu is born by the end of this one. ~sigh~

But I did figure out an ending for "The Witch's Want" in all of this thrashing around...

Anyway, If you're following this, please enjoy. If you're new to this story.. Whoa, better start at CH01. This is confusing enough if you've gotten this far.

O_o

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The priestess stood on the watchtower spire the next day. She surveyed the land around for a short time and then she looked at the way that the clouds appeared to her. They were starting to develop the darker undersides that reminded her of the clouds which bore the precipitation of the coming colder months. She reached into her robe and pulled out a crust of day-old bread, feeling the first waves of her morning sickness approaching her for the third time today.

She chewed on the crust and began to feel a little better almost as soon as she'd swallowed some and held a kind thought for her mother. It had taken her this long to remember to stop by the keep bakery to ask for some.

Looking down at the land again, she thought that she could see the first of the leaves changing a little. Her eye was drawn to a single figure who walked slowly across the windblown grass far below.

Nisi-ini-su sighed to herself. That had been a true shame.

The other true shame had been that she'd been so busy recently that she'd had little time to spend with even her closest friend.

She turned and walked toward the stairs.

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Anat wandered the high ground which lay at the foundations of the keep in the large valley. The wind blew her long reddish-brown hair around her as she walked. The place had always been beautiful to her from the first time that she'd laid eyes on it as a girl, but when one's breast holds a broken heart, things seldom look their best. It had been months and still she felt miserable.

Nisi-ini-su strode through the taller grass in the cold wind. She could see Anat there far ahead of her. The difference was a little remarkable to her. For more than the past year, she'd never seen Anat out of the armor which marked her as the captain of her personal guards. She wondered briefly when it was exactly when she'd last seen her dressed in anything else. She called to Anat as she drew near, and the woman turned around, bowing a little when her liege was close enough.

"Not today, Anat, please, " Nisi-ini-su said with a smile. She maintained her stride and walked right up to the startled woman and threw her arms around her shoulders in a tight hug. She kissed Anat's cheek and hugged her even tighter. "I come to beg forgiveness."

"Forgiveness?" Anat asked curiously as she returned the hug genuinely, "What has happened?"

The Priestess drew her head back and they looked at each other. "I have had my hands full with so many things that I had no time to spare for the ones which should get it the most. I saw you here from the tower and felt terrible. My closest friend in the world walks alone here on such a day, and I have not done what I should as a friend months ago and made time to be together with you in so long. I am sorry."

Anat smiled. "We have all been busy for so long, Nisi-ini-su. These are not times like we are used to from our younger days. There is nothing to forgive."

The priestess took the fighter's hand and they walked along the ridge together, two friends from childhood again. The wind there at the edge of the ridge blew far more fitfully than anywhere else as winds near to ridges on mountains always do. Their long cloaks showed the motions of it, though they were tied against the cold, but the long hair of both women, red-brown on one and black on the other showed the motion of the blustery weather plainly.

In the keep's main entrance, a guard approached another, drawn by his intent stare across the windblown plain. "What?"

"There," the newer guard remarked with a nod, "surely two of the most beautiful women that I have ever seen. I saw one as she came out and before I knew it, I had to step aside for the one with the black hair. Who are they?"

The other guard sighed as he smiled and he slapped the new man's shoulder. "Those are two dreams who walk in this place of dreams, friend. And that is all that they will ever be to you and I. The black-haired one is the High Priestess herself and the other is the leader of her guard. Go and sit by the fire when you can call your eyes back into your head. The meal is ready and I will stand duty for you while you eat." He nodded toward the women, "Like many dreams here, they are deadly."

The priestess looked to her friend. "If it is not too close to you, I still do not understand what happened with Dagon. I only knew that you were apart."

Anat sighed, "What happened is easily able to be seen and foretold when I look back afterward. He is a builder, young and full of ideas. At the keep here, there are enough builders who have ideas of their own. So all that really kept Dagon here was me," she said as she pulled her long hair away from her eyes.

"But I carry the duties of the captaincy of your guard, and as in all else, it seems, that duty is hard to name with certainty. I lead a group of fighters by my title, but we are also many other things both here and wherever we are sent as the needs be." She smiled at her friend, happy for the company now, "I have always loved the duty and would not give it up until I cannot do it well any longer or I am dead, but that makes it harder for a man to keep his love for his woman alive when she is most often not here.

What happened is that Dagon left both me and the keep while we were off elsewhere. I know not if there was another woman."

"Surely not," her friend said, stating the obvious, "who would be that bold -- or stupid?"

Anat tugged her friend's hand a little and raised their clasped hands so that they could be seen by both of them. "Do not even think of it, old friend. I know what you would do now. You would offer me time away, and it is something that I do not want or need. My busyness has been the best thing for me these past months. I am over him. It is just that today, I feel the want that comes from loneliness a little more, that is all."

Nisi-ini-su stopped and it caused Anat to turn. When she did, the priestess hugged her tightly and kissed her. Anat found herself responding after a moment and she felt a little better as their tongues danced slowly. Anat heard her old lover's sigh as it began and she added hers to it.

All these years, she thought.

Nisi-ini-su broke the kiss and smiled. "As it has always been between us, Anat, I love you still, and so I want to make things better for you. You cannot blame me for this. I have had a thought of late anyway, and I want to speak with you about it before I act."

She laughed to herself a little, "That marks quite a change in me, no?"

"Aye," the female warrior grinned back, "it does." She put her arm around her friend's shoulders as they began to walk again, "Tell me then, so that I might have a chance to know what it is that I must fear next."

"Soon," her friend laughed, "By your dress here, I see that you are off today, and if I know you, there is a warm fire still burning in the hearth of your little cottage."

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Anat's jaw fell. "You -- you are serious?"

Nisi-ini-su smiled back as they sat before the hearth together eating soup. "Yes, of course I am. Tell me that you have never had the thought of it, Anat. Go on and say it and I will laugh at you. Do you think that he is not man enough for it?"

Anat thought of it, "Of course he is, Nisi-ini-su. It is just that, ... I have never, ..."

"Yes you have," her friend laughed, "I know you, Anat. Listen, we are first lovers between us. You and I have never stopped loving each other. It is only lately that there has been no time for it. Lugalbanda is the world to me and I know that the love between us is as strong as what lies between you and I. We both know how you feel about him. He knows, Anat. He feels the same about you as you feel about him. He also knows what is between us and has always been."

She paused to let it sink in as she carefully sipped a spoonful of the hot soup, grateful for the heat of the bowl in her cold hands. "What happened to you would not ever happen again. You are with him a little more than I am when he is in the field, and I would not begrudge it. You and I are alone here without him now as sometimes happens as well, and he and I are often alone together on the road to somewhere that we must be. There would be time for it alone and all together. I know how he admires and respects you, and anyone with eyes can see that you shine when you stand near to him in battle. We both do, you and I. I have heard it said of us often.

So? What is there to argue about, then? Say the word to me and we three will be together. You and I will be his two wives and we will all be happier for it. Do not forget that I am with child. When it gets much later just before the birth, I will be glad of your help."

"You would have my help anyway," Anat said earnestly, "You know it."

"I do," the priestess smiled, "it was never in question in my mind. But I can see a time when the babe will need me. Can you see it then? I will want your help to keep him pleased when I will not have the desire as much. That is what my own mother told me might happen. And this way, you can also have babes with him, though I can warn you that so far, the way that I must throw away my dinner so lightly does little to forge my love as a mother."

Anat thought about it. Between the two of them, she had always been the practical one. This idea surprised her and she knew that her friend must have thought this through long and hard to be this forthright and logical with her argument because of what had happened with Timna, though they both knew that she had a far greater appetite for this kind of sex than Timna ever could. She looked at Nisi-ini-su.

"He carries the lock," the priestess said with a little leer, "just as I do. And you know how it helps with loving."

"Stop it," Anat laughed, "I know what it does with you. I try to think of how it would go with him. I have never loved with a man like him."

"Well, "her old lover smiled warmly, "I have, and often. I have even survived his wonderful pounding, now that I am used to it and crave it so. But I also know how you like it soft and gentle most often, Anat, and I have taught him to be just so - just that way when I ask him for it.

Say the word and you have your old lover and a husband, once we have the ritual. Find a way to becoming a priestess as well as a fighter and we will try to find a way to share the lock with you. But in any event, you can begin with him as soon as I tell him your answer."

Anat was shocked, "He knows of this, what you suggest to me?"

Her friend nodded, "Yes. We have spoken of it often before. Lugalbanda has always known what we do together, Anat. It has never been a secret from him. He understands how you and I have always needed each other in all things. He mentioned it to me, how - unless the other one is not there, we are always conferring. He has also noticed how unhappy you are. And you would not be this unhappy if my man and I had acted sooner and offered this to you months ago, but we were all so busy. We are both sorry for that.

Think hard for a moment here, Anat. Are we not happiest when we are all three together? It doesn't matter what it is that we are doing, we are always drawn together. All that he and I have spoken of here - all that I am saying is that we just admit what is there. You and he are close enough for this anyway, are you not?"

Anat thought about it and nodded, "Yes, truly. If we met before any of this and the love between you, I think that he and I would, ..."

"Well you might think it, Anat," Nisi-ini-su said, "but I know it as a certainty."

She laughed as a thought came to her, "It would still be the same! Look, if you were with him, you would be sitting with me at some point telling me the same words and trying to induce me into this, and you know it. We have both taken men. Even if what was between you and Dagon had been successful, there would still be you and I underneath it all - just as it is now."

"We are still the two girls who have always been together. First from childhood, then as young hopeful and would-be adventurers here so long ago. We grew up enough, and one day we were lovers. I have always cherished that. We are older, and I am with child, but Anat, we are still the two girls who found ourselves naked on a hillside one day when we were old enough for it. We needed each other then, and we need each other still. I have my large and very strong man. He wants you as he wants me. Think with your head if you like, Anat. It will work."

She laughed, and Anat wondered why. Her old friend smiled, "Think with your cunny for once, and it will tell you the same thing, only louder. Come on, old friend, I offer you the love that you have always had and on top of that, I offer you a husband such that you will never want another."

Anat threw up her hands. "What must I say, then?"

"Only say 'yes', that you would try it." Nisi-ini-su replied, "I will arrange it when he returns. If it is good between you, then it is done, and we would welcome you to your new home. I cannot wait to stand beside you for the ceremony when you wed him."

She looked around at the cozy little cottage around them for a moment as she leaned against Anat.

"But though you would change your quarters, I want you to keep this place, "she smiled, "There are many good memories here and more to be made yet, I think. You are off today and no one can find me to bother me over a thousand little things which they decide for themselves whenever I am not here anyway."

Anat nodded as she leaned against the priestess with a smile.

"And I have a bucket," she said with a chuckle.

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"What is it, Illya," Yanna asked her husband as they lay in their bed while the wind moaned outside.

On their arrival at the keep, Smyrna and Daggat had resumed their duties in the guard of the Priestess. Illya and Yanna were given a set of rooms high up in one of the spires. Actually, it was two sets, the other set was given to Besha and Sorn. None of the outer rooms had a flat wall -- they were all curved.

There was a large common room between them with a fireplace large enough to heat that one room really well. The four of them spent days cleaning and sweeping. Each set of rooms had its own more or less central room with a fireplace. On the advice of the older couple, Yanna and Illya made that room their bedroom so that they'd be warmer over the coming winter. Most of the time, the doors to the sets of rooms were kept open. The bedroom fireplaces were only lit when the couples went to bed and the doors were closed.

"What is it that troubles you so?"

Illya sighed, turning to take Yanna in his arms. He didn't want what was bothering him to affect her. "I am to learn more of this quiet killing," he said, "Both the Priest and the Priestess are pleased at what I have already learned from Sorn. They say that I must continue."

Yanna nodded, "As I was told to learn from Besha, anything that she might teach me. What is wrong with that?" Yanna asked him, "I am told often how quickly you learn and how -- "she stopped and looked at him with concern. "There is something really troubling you," she said.

He nodded, "I have learned many ways, Yanna, but though I have avoided it, I now come to the stealth of getting close in a bed."

Yanna might have wanted to make a joke otherwise, but she understood her husband's concern. She pushed him onto his back and looked down at him as she ran her pawed hand over his chest.

"Listen, Illya," she said, "there are two things here, not only the one. I am the closest one to you in all the world, so I know. Firstly, you are troubled over lying with another woman while you are married to me. It causes me a little trouble as well, Illya, but I understand it and why you need to learn this."

She smiled, "I think of it this way; my husband looks good enough to be wanted by other women, yet he only wants me. I feel pride for this, so you should try to do your best to learn, as you have done for everything else. We are both here to learn what is taught, and we do it for each other. I also smile a little because when it happens that you lie with someone, your count will go up, and I may benefit from the things that you might learn as well, no? That is how I look at it."

"It is the other thing which bothers you much more," she said, "and I know this as well. You will have to learn about lying with another man and I know how you feel about that too. I will say this to you," she said as she leaned down to rub her face under his jaw, "I have learned about you in the time that we have loved. I know what you like in the dark and only between us, husband. If I had fingers instead of these claws, you know what I would do. All that I can tell you is to do your best. I don't know why, Illya, but the thought stirs me a little to think of it, and if nothing else," she smiled as she began to stroke him, "your count goes up regardless in the eyes of the cat-girl who needs you so that she may breathe."

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The old fireplace crackled and threw out a spark onto the stone floor now and then. Besha stood at a window and looked out through a gap as she held one of the shutters open a little to see. The wind outside blew strongly and it carried cold rain with it, but inside, it was very warm and dry. She shivered a little as a bit of the rain blew in and landed against her stomach and one of her breasts.

Both of their men each spent about an hour a day bringing and managing the wood to keep the fireplace hot and once the thing was really going, it was hot in the main room, so during the day, neither of the women wore very much and Yanna preferred being closer to the floor on four legs, since the air was cooler there and she was trapped inside her short fur.

Besha closed the shutter and walked to look at the pot heating near the fire which held the hot broth that she wanted. Satisfied, she threw another split log on the fire and walked back to sit down.

"So Illya is troubled and you spoke of it together and then you did your best to make him feel a little better," Besha asked her friend as they watched the flames roaring in the huge fireplace of the common room. "What is your trouble then?"

Yanna didn't take her eyes from the flames. Besha was sitting on a chair while she was lying on a thick rug on the floor. "I do not know, really," she said, "other than it makes Illya nervous and unhappy to think about." She shifted her focus deeper into the fire and tried to imagine the scene. "It stirs me somehow," she said.

Besha sat down beside her. "How?"

"I don't know," Yanna replied a little evasively, "I only know that it does."

"Well that I can see for myself," the older woman smiled as she got down to lie at right angles to Yanna's face. Besha lay with her chin on her forearms, smiling.

The cat-girl's amber eyes shifted as she looked over at her. "You can?"

Besha laughed softly as she reached to move one of Yanna's braids out of the way and behind her ear.

"Yanna," she said with a lot of her good humor in her voice, "We have been here for over an hour now, you and me, talking as we often do about anything. But all that you talk about today is this one thing, and you began it as you sat in the chair next to mine."