We prepared the horses. I rode Greystone, and he rode Blackwood. We were going the long way around, through the desert and up through the canyons that would be unprotected – too dangerous to be covered by the likes of the resistance. For a long while, we were silent – focused on the ride, what was coming. We began to slow as we neared the canyons.
I looked over at Eric. He didn't need to look back to notice my stare. "What is it, Dor?"
"Tell me what happened?" I asked. The sun was setting, and he rode close to me.
He looked at me then. He shrugged. "It's a long story. I don't know where to start, really." He stopped looking at me. –Part of it seemed like he was looking around for a memory. But there was also something about it that seemed guilty. "I guess it starts with your dad. –Trying to abolish slavery. He knew my people were against it – well, that's a lie. Most of my people are against it. And then others... well. See Dor, there's good people in the universe and bad."
I gave him a low, annoyed stare. Yeah – I was a little bit aware that there are both good people and bad people in the world.
He sighed, realizing how he sounded. "Let me start over. Your dad and I were friends, and,"
"Impossible!" I interrupted. "You were just a little boy when he was killed. I would have known you."
"This was another life, Dor. Could you just listen?"
"Okay," I answered, unsure how my question was going to be answered when nothing he said made any sense.
"I met your dad on another world, long ago. He was an amazing person, your father. You see, everyone had thought this world was just full of primitives. Some people, some of the bad people came here anyway, for vacations – in order to enjoy a primitive lifestyle for a short period of time. –This quickly became illegal, and even before it was illegal they weren't allowed to go about changing things. Still, sometimes equipment would get lost on the planet and your dad – one of the so called 'primitives,' he actually figured a lot of our stuff out. No education – just collected and tinkered with forgotten toys until one day he used our science and our magic to come to one of our planets.
"That's how we met. After that, well, there's a lot to that story, a lot. ...But after a while he revealed that he was in line to be king, and he had to go home and assume his duties. I was actually, kind of pissed about that. He was probably," Eric said, with a face almost like he was laughing at himself, laughing in sadness, "...probably my best friend." He smiled at me. "Until I met you."
I shifted in my saddle, suddenly blushing, suddenly feeling the strange crawling wonder of being loved when you don't deserve it.
He went on, "Anyway, he came back to this planet and got married and became king. We still talked... all the time at first, but you know friends. You're thick as thieves and then someone leaves... We used to talk about all sorts of things. And he never did believe in slavery and I encouraged him to put an end to it – he was king after all. Not that I had any clue what that meant. I had never been here; I didn't know what it was like. Everyone said it was a primitive planet, but my friend had always been evidence to me that it was not. I never imagined that this world would be so untamed, that he was in so much danger that he never spoke of. ...If I had known, Dor. God, Dor. I swear, if I had known the danger I'd have been here so much sooner. I'd have come back with him."
Quietly, I said, "It's okay," but something in my stomach kept my voice low, wondering what exactly I was forgiving here, worried that it might be too much.
"I remember how excited he was that it was finally happening. –That he was finally going to bring an end to it all. I was happy for him. ...And a little. Dor, you haven't had anyone but me. You don't know what it's like to have thousands of so called friends, keeping up with them decade upon decade. You don't worry about the happy ones, Dor. It becomes like a chore. It shouldn't be a chore, but, you put the happy ones on the shelf, and just sort of bother to say hello on holidays – check in, see if everything's okay. Then his letter came.
"He was worried. There had been attempts on his life. –Threats to his children and wife. And he had the suspicion that he was threatened by someone not of his own world. When he had been on my planet, the most your father ever asked of me was to explain something. He wanted to learn. But he never asked for help, not for real help, not for something more than a definition or instruction. In his letter, he asked for help. I remember seeing the words, and – I don't know. I'd never been so cut with fear by written words before. Maybe something in me knew. I think I might have been connected to this world by those words – by the ink on the paper that had come through the portals.
"I prepared to leave, to come to this planet, to help your father. But I was old by then, and slow – and the body I had been building to inhabit next wasn't quite ready. My people, ages ago, found they could transplant brains from body to body in order to save minds whose bodies were lost. –It wasn't a popular practice at first given that it required a donor. But we have since learned how to grow mindless bodies, and with certain magics we can retain the flesh of our brains somewhat indefinitely. Anyway, it's rather frowned upon to change bodies before your new one has reached adulthood. –For a few reasons. It doesn't really matter. But... I hesitated. It was illegal to travel to your father's planet and I wasn't sure I was up to it in my current condition. I was afraid, Dor. I had heard word they were permanently closing off entry to your world. –One of many in a campaign to end corruption.
"By the time I got over it – my fear, it was too late. Still quite old, I traveled with my new body in tow, here – only to find your family murdered by a madman from my planet. He was setting up shop. He had heard about how the routes between our many worlds and this one were going to be closed, and he imagined it a good opportunity to remake himself in the form of a deity. I confronted him. He nearly killed me. But I was older and meaner and very upset that my friend was dead. So I killed him. Of course, then I began to die, and I ended up having to make the transfer to my new body, and in the process I missed my chance to go home.
"I was stuck in this not quite adult body, on a strange planet, with no connections. I went on a walk – tried to learn what I could, and what I learned was that... scared as the people were of the master – the man who had destroyed their government and world – they were more scared of not knowing what was going to happen next. They still worried about laws and if there would be food to eat, whether they could raise their kids in peace, run any sort of business. They didn't want any more upheaval. They just didn't want to be scared anymore.
"So I built a palace, where the Master could stay – far away from the villages and towns. I made sure that when the Master sent an army, that it was menacing, but did no wrong. The people, I thought, would begin to believe that the Master was there and would have his way, but that they could go about their lives in peace. I didn't think the chaos of anarchy would be a good thing. But I didn't want to introduce myself, or a stranger as yet a new leader." He stopped, dismounting from his horse. I followed suit – surprised suddenly that we had already reached the canyons.
He helped me down, and began unpacking his pack, grabbing some food and a blanket. He continued, "And for a few years, I never even thought about living beyond this body because I was certain this was hell. –My punishment for failing a friend. And then you showed up. –Jaded and compassionless, sarcastic and impossible to impress. -Also pathetic, and weak and sad – sadder than me. You never cared how depressed I was." He set out a picnic on the ground, easily – like we were discussing math and not how sad we were that my family was dead.
"Thank God for you." He pulled me into him. "I have you, I have you, I have you," he said into my hair.
We sat at his picnic. –Our last meal before facing Saymar and Gravlor's Peak. "I think you know the rest," he said. "You and me against the world... I had heard rumors about there being a survivor, a princess. But the most I learned was that she was some wild ghost living in the desert sands."
"And you didn't make the connection?" I asked, chuckling a little at the idea.
"I guess I didn't think of you as belonging to this world. At first..." he trailed off, shaking his head.
"What?"
"I sort of worried that I was going crazy. –That I had imagined you."
"How long did that last?"
"Up until that time you tripped and fell down the stairs. Remember? You had only been at the palace for a couple months, but..."
"I remember," I replied flat. –That had sucked. He gave me healing apples almost immediately, but that didn't erase the memory of the pain, or the sheer embarrassment. I don't know how that happened. I was just walking and I knew there were stairs, but somehow! Bloop! I ended up rolling down hard marble steps at break-neck speed for what felt like half an hour. That had sucked.
"Nothing I ever imagined, made up in my own head, could have every in million years, been that spontaneously clumsy."
