I couldn't sleep at all that night. --Until I decided: No, we just weren't doing it. Simple.
Say his plan worked. That would mean just watching him wipe out the resistance. Not that they'd been super useful anyway, but they were basically on my side and it would be bad form on my part to let them die.
Then again, his plan might not work. Then where would we be? Who knows what would happen on Gravlor's Peak? I mean, he could die. --Which certainly would be a plus. But, I could get killed in the crossfire.
Was there going to be crossfire?
Point was I decided that I would just tell him. No.
The next morning I woke up late.
I got dressed quickly and ran down to the spell room. The Master of the Realm was already working, or perhaps still working among the bubbling potions, dissected animals, and dusty old tomes. His dark hair fell down around his eyes as he fiddled with what appeared to be a little brown box. He knew I was there and glanced up at me; but it was strange, he had a dark look in his eyes I didn't see very often. --And it had never been directed at me before.
He had always seemed to enjoy my company; he was a lonely guy. I also always felt like maybe having someone around when he made his decisions, helped to keep him from doubting his decisions. --That used to worry me, because it meant I was helping him do horrible things. But the truth was I had always been more interested in my revenge for the dead than I was in the problems of the living.
"Dor. You're late."
"Yup," I replied, pulling on my protective gloves. "I'll get started on more of the Portglan juice," I said, before throwing in, "And uh... no."
He straightened. "No?"
"No, we're not going through with the uh... plan."
He smiled, and I tried to pretend I didn't see it by pulling ingredients out of the cupboard. "Which plan?" he asked.
"The, you know, seduction plan," I replied, concentrating very hard on examining all the labels on the bottles.
"Ah. Is that the official title? I was thinking 'Mission: Code Red.' But I kind of like 'The Seduction Plan.' Has a nice ring to it." He set down the box.
"You named it that first. Last night. And I'm telling you, no." I couldn't look at him directly, this was too awkward. But I realized he was slowly walking across the room.
"Why not?"
"It's too dangerous; I already told them no, and they'll be suspicious if I suddenly change my mind," I said. As he came around the corner of the table where I stood, I finally looked him in the eye, and said, "You didn't see my reaction, Eric. I laughed at them."
"Why?"
"Because it's a ridiculous plan!"
"You don't have to yell; I'm right here, Dor." He took a breath, then said, "I guess we'll have to do something to convince them you're in."
"Like what, Eric?"
"God, you're moody," he replied offhand.
"You would know!"
Suddenly he was right next to me. He grabbed one of my arms, and I didn't know why. I don't think he knew why either -- he was angry and didn't know what to do with it. "You've been trying to kill me," he growled.
My eyes filled with water then.
I guess I thought he finally knew -- for real, and he'd finally get rid of me. I refused to blink though; no tear-stained cheeks of regret for him or for me. I did my best and that was good enough.
But he didn't kill me. He looked at me for a long moment, then he pulled me into a hug. --Twice in less than 24 hours.
Weird.
He spoke into my hair, laughing a little, manically, "I'm sorry; it's just you're mad at me for spying on you and you still haven't apologized for trying to kill me."
No. And I hadn't planned on it.
"If you don't stop hugging me, you won't ever get an apology," I replied. "Get off."
He chuckled at my reaction and let go. "You never did tell me how they got you to do it. What did they threaten you with?"
"They said... they would... make sure you knew, that I was one of them... Whether I was or not." Oh, I was a terrible liar. "And," I added, for the hint of authenticity I was clearly missing, "The thing is, I am related to... royalty here. They know that, and they would make it look like I wanted to take the throne."
He looked at me like I had said something hilarious. "You're related to royalty? You couldn't have been that close to the throne -- real royalty would have sent assassins, not been an assassin."
"Right?" I said, returning to my work.
"I remember when you first showed up here," he said. "You were the most wretched, ugly girl I had ever seen. -And such a raging bitch."
"Hey!"
"No one had acted that way with me for, gosh... centuries."
Yeah. Okay. He said things like this sometimes -- exaggerating the length of his life by a thousand years. "Clearly, you needed it," I replied.
"Clearly I did," he said. "Why don't you want to do the plan, Dor?"
"Oh my... Look," I began.
"I mean, you went through with plenty of plans when it was possible that I could have died."
"Obviously it wasn't possible, because you knew about them."
It suddenly occurred to me then, that I would never be able to kill him. He would always be waiting and ready.
"But you didn't know that," he said.
If I couldn't kill him, I couldn't stay. Could I? No, there was no reason to be there. It would mean doing the opposite of what I had always done, always strived for. I would be helping the man that murdered my life.
He continued, "Now, I have a plan that will put an end to all this deception and you don't want to do it." He drew a finger along my wrist. It startled me; I hadn't realized I had just been standing there thinking, nor had I realized he was standing right next to me again. "I know I'm strict about you helping with the work and contributing to chores and... I thought it about it, and I realize we do a lot of things I like to do and not a lot of what you like to do."
I rolled my eyes. "Gee, I wonder why they call you Master of the Realm."
"I really started thinking about it when I first realized what had been happening. But I'm going to change, Dor. I'm going to be a better friend. We'll do things you like to do. --Like, twice a year?"
I rolled my eyes and smiled at him. He laughed at his own joke.
"But, if you could just do this. Dor, it can't be that hard to fake a little bit of feeling, can it? I mean, I haven't been so horrible that you really have wanted me dead, right?"
Yes. Yes you have.
It's been a long time since you did the things that made me feel this way. But feelings like this don't die.
"Whatever. What do you want me to do?" Maybe I could spin the situation somehow. Who knows? Maybe he would die on Gravlor's Peak.
He let out a breath I didn't realize he had been holding. "Great. That's great. And I have the perfect plan."
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This was not the perfect plan.
Geez. So far I had only been worried about Eric trying to kill me. But after this, I'd be surprised if the resistance didn't come after me too.
We were going to play-act in public, him falling in love with me.
I know!
People don't just fall in love over an afternoon!
I tried to point this out to him; that in fact, he had been my constant companion and closest friend for over a decade now and we hadn't fallen in love. His plan didn't make a lick of sense.
But, there I was. Sitting in the main marketplace just off the river, waiting for him to finish business with one of the local officials he had appointed just after taking over the planet. I looked down the road for the rabid horse.
Oh, didn't I mention the rabid horse?