The Story of Survey Service Captain Michael Taylor
"This Experiment is coming to an end," said J.
"No, not yet," said F.
'Yes," said J. "The Executive Body has decided to end this Experiment in 90 Earth standard days. If no humans have successfully completely a passing score on the Experiment, the inhabitants of the Station will be purged, the Station will be fumigated, and we will begin again with a new species."
"But... 90 days... that doesn't even give us enough time to adequately test the humans still in cryogenic suspension," said F. "We need 90 days minimum, bare minimum, to test a newly unfrozen subject's potential, and there are still 96 humans in storage, and we only have the capacity to revive a handful at a time."
"Then you should choose your next subjects most carefully," said J.
********
Jeremy Quills was the next to be revived.
Jeremy was one of the top mathematicians on the planet Earth. He had a brilliant mind and was a lead scientist on the Andromeda Project, a plan to radically expand the capabilities of the Varonkov Drive to make intergalactic travel not only possible, but feasible. He was also emotionally stable and physically fit.
Jeremy attracted women like a campfire attracted flies. Susan Shinn, Jessica Fromm, and Shinequa Obata each tried to work their charms on him. The guys couldn't help but notice and perhaps be a little jealous.
"You're today's new thing," said Craig Cobin. "But give it a few days, a few partnerings, and you'll be treated like day old bread."
But Jeremy was not offended. He smiled gently as he noticed the women at the other table smiling back at him. "Perhaps so. But right now I'm more interested in how this technology works. Does the Federation really have the ability to travel through time?"
"So they claim," said Haggis. "This planetary system has two suns. They claim that the interaction between the gravitational fields opens portals into other times. Somehow they can manipulate these portals to travel whenever they want."
"And this colony on New Earth they are going to create-"
"They've already created it. And created it again and again and again," said Haggis. "They say their growing vats are located somewhere in the distant future. Every time a pairing is approved here, a message is sent to the distant future to order the growing vats to make humans based on the selected DNA combinations."
"But how do they do it over and over?"
"They only do it once, so they claim," said Haggis. "They did it a first time, with the very first pairing. Then when that failed, they went forward in time to just five minutes before the very first time the growing vats were activated, and told their staff to use a different set of DNA."
"And after that experiment failed, they went forward in time to five minutes before the second experiment was to replace the first experiment, and so on and so on," said Roland Miller. "So in essence, there is always just one experiment, but the contents of it are constantly changing."
"Is that really possible?" Jeremy wondered.
"Probably not," said Haggis.
"Haggis is a skeptic," said Ardis.
"A realist," said Haggis.
"But the fact remains that they have brought us to another galaxy," said Jeremy.
"But it took 500 years," said Donnie Burch.
"Only 500 years for intergalactic travel? That's amazing!"
"For a mathematician," said Haggis.
"You'll have to forgive Haggis. He's had a severe case of amnesia ever since he arrived. Do you still not remember your life on Earth?" Captain Taylor asked.
"Not a thing," said Haggis.
"You probably had a minor job in the World Government, like most people here. It's nothing to be ashamed about," said Taylor.
"There are no minor jobs in the World Government," said Haggis. "Only minor people."
"You sound like an anarchist," said Gavin Ansom.
"Thank you," said Haggis.
********
Over the course of the next few days Jeremy talked, flirted, dined and danced with a number of women. The men made side bets about who would trip him up first.
"I'm betting on Shinn Girl," said Craig. "She has the youngest and sexiest body."
"He's a scientist," said Dickie Weymouth. "He'll go for someone sensitive like Shelly Rendler."
"I think he'll go for Laura Giancomo," said Ardis.
"But she's a lesbian!" said Roland Miller.
"A lesbian with big tits," said Ardis.
"But he's a scientist, a sophisticated man. He won't be seduced by big tits," said Roland.
"Everyone is seduced by big tits," said Ardis.
********
Only a few were surprised when Jeremy Quills selected Laura Giancomo for his first partnering, and Ardis McDuff was not one of them.
"It was the tits, right?" Ardis said.
Jeremy didn't get angry. He was a very calm kind of guy. "No, it wasn't the tits." He paused. "At least, it wasn't
just
the tits-"
"Ah hah!" half the men at the table cried.
"You know she's screwed half the men on the station, and her scores have been very average," said Dickie Weymouth.
"From what I've been hearing, most everyone's scores have been average. That's why there
is
an average," said Jeremy. "No, I've been spending the past few days analyzing the criterion that the Federationistas use for success. I'm convinced my exceptional creativity and problem solving abilities combined with Laura's communitarianism and lust for life will get us a passing score."
"No one's ever gotten a passing score," said Dickie wearily. "And no one ever will. This place is just one big fuck farm."
"Perhaps no one's ever gotten a passing score because you've all thought of it as one big fuck farm, have you ever thought of that?" said Jeremy.
"When are you going to do it?" Captain Taylor asked.
"We're going to consummate tonight, and meet with the Committee tomorrow, after we've met with the First One. Laura says the meeting with Bessie is a mere formality."
"Unless you've got something she wants," Gavin grinned.
"Don't do it," said Taylor. "Don't pair with her, Jeremy."
"Why?"
"Laura's a low scorer. She'll give you a low score too. Low scorers don't last long here. She'll be the death of you," said Taylor.
"I've thought about it methodically, and it makes sense to me. Of course, if it doesn't work out, I'll analyze the results and recalibrate my approach," said Jeremy.
"Spoken like a true scientist," said Haggis. "Roland, you should make a note of this. He'd make a good character in one of your novels."
Roland gave him a surprised look but said nothing.
********
Jeremy felt all eyes on him as he and Laura had dinner in Algeria that night. The view of the sun setting over the sand dunes, casting everything in a yellowish glow as beautiful.
"We seem to be attracting some attention," said Jeremy.
"It's not often that someone as handsome and accomplished as you arrives here," said Laura. She was so pleased with herself. Once again she had beaten Shelly and Susan, her main rivals. Susan, being the younger woman, had been the main threat, but while Susan had the right equipment, she didn't have the same experience using it that Laura did.
"Oh, I don't know," said Jeremy. "There's a lot of talent here. You have a Survey Service Captain. An important regional governor. A billionaire-"
"All of whom have been proven failures in the pairing."
"And me?"
She raised her wine glass and stared at him through it. "You... you are beautifully untested."
Jeremy smiled. "I hope I don't disappoint you." He sipped his wine.
"I'm sure you won't tonight," said Laura.
Jeremy should have been flattered, but a lingering question bothered him. An anomaly. "What's Haggis's story?"
"Haggis?"
"What did he do on Earth?"
Laura shrugged. "No one knows. He claims he doesn't remember. Why do you ask?"
"I don't know," said Jeremy. "Something about the way he watches things. He's very... observant."
Laura gave a stern look. "Are we here to talk about Haggis O'Leary... or the amazing adventure we are about to start together?"
Jeremy gave a polite smile. "Of course. I'm really looking forward to it."
Laura tried to hide the sting she felt from his tepid response.
********
