"Yeah, but just part-time."
"I don't understand that that means."
Molly took a sip of her margarita. Tres Tacos is always one of her favorite places to go on a date because even if the date is terrible, she loves any opportunity to have their guac. So far Simon seems fine. He clearly never wears that jacket not on first dates, his job sounds exaggerated but he is funny and doesn't interrupt her so it's not bad so far. Also, that guac though.
"It's not like I'm a full-time genie. I'm not enslaved or anything. I set my own hours, like Uber."
"I'm still not following."
"Well Uber driers don't have to request certain times to a supervisor. They can start and stop when they want. Obviously, they will want to work at peak times and then if more people are driving then, there is more of a competition but that's some nuance I don't really know."
"No, I get how Uber works. I mean, obviously not the tax and benefits stuff. I meant the genie thing. Is that like an...escort?"
"Nah, nah, nah. It's just been a whole mystical restructuring. There have been push-back for years about the whole enteral servitude thing. Enough genies were wished to be free, a union was formed, yadda yadda yadda, now it's a whole profession."
"And you're a genie?"
"Part-time."
"And you grant wishes?"
"Exclusively."
"And how do you get paid from that?"
"Oh it's a whole rewards program. Work so many hours, you get your own wishes so then at that point, you basically have all of wealth and opportunity just a couple of months away so that's nice. Only have to work part-time, which is the best. You have a lot of questions."
"I feel my basis of reality is broken."
"Sure, I get that. But also, you see what the President did today? Crazy, right?"
"Do you not want to talk about how you are a mythical creature?"
"No, I just feel like I'm being interviewed and I want to make sure you can say things like how the news is so much right now and stuff like that. Also I'm 100% human off the clock. Super duper magical on the clock. Probably a difference. Are you going to have that salsa?"
"Sure, you can have it. I just fundamentally believe that what you are saying is more interesting than what I am saying."
"Come on, Simon, I bet you have plenty of interesting things to say. What's your favorite movie?"
"The Dark Knight."
"Okay that is pretty uninteresting. We can talk about genie stuff."
"Can I have wishes?"
"No."
"Because we just met each other?"
"No, you don't have my lamp."
"Where is it?"
Molly shrugged her shoulders.
"I feel you should probably know where it is."
"Person finds it, rubs it, I appear, grant wishes, then it pops away to a new location somewhere in the world. It's like geocaching except it's actually rewarding."
"If they rub it, doesn't that mean they dictate when you're working?"
"Ah, good catch. Yeah, that requires a bit of bending of reality. Let's say someone rubs my lamp at 8PM and I get the signal then, but I'm in a movie and I don't want to. I wait until 9. Then me going to the lamp, actually goes back to the second they rub it which is kinda like time travel, I guess. It works out."
"How did you get to be a genie?"
"Extensive application process."
"How extensive?"
"Genie Guild looked through billions of possible realities to see if I will ever destroy the world. Which means, I didn't, which is nice. Love learning that about yourself."
"This is a lot. I feel like I'm having vertigo while sitting down. You haven't even showed me anything, I'm just listening to you and you could be lying but it doesn't seem like you're lying but I also just met you so I don't know what it looks like when you lie. It's all just-- "
"Simon, Simon. Focus. It's okay. Do you believe in God?"
"No."
"Oh, okay then."
"Wait, does God exist?"
"Don't worry about it. Realize there are always things beyond your understanding. For some that is god, for some that is dark matter, for some it may just be algebra. Everybody doesn't know something. I don't understand economics and you don't understand magic. We can learn but existence can never be solved. So embrace it."
"I'll try."
"Cool. I feel this is not a real date. This is a prelude to a date. I feel we have to get past the whole your-date-has-part-time-infinite-powers thing."
"Infinite?!"
"See. Baby steps. I can't get to know you because you want to know more about my job. Which I get! Cool job! How about this? I'll show you a magic trick and we'll do this again this weekend, okay? You will have to pay for dinner but you can Venmo me if you want."
"I'm not going to Venmo you."
"Giving you the option! All right, text me. But, like, don't make it a weird text. See ya." On Molly's keys there was a charm that looked like a tiny traditional genie bottle. She popped open the top. Instead of it being a cool little flask, pink mist came out instead of vodka. Molly pointed under the table.
Simon looked underneath and saw the pink mist was falling from the chain and circling her feet. It was getting thicker to the point where he couldn't make out her feet. The mist made a tug—which is apparently a thing—and her feet were gone. The mist continued up her jeans compressing her legs into what seemed like a tail. Simon quickly looked up from under the table to see if she was okay, but Molly had her eyes closed in bliss and seemed to be holding back moaning.
Her eyes shot open when she started to float a few inches above her chair. Simon looked back down and the mist has now completely encompassed above her hips. The charm rested on her chair as Molly's body kept pouring into this small figurine.
Looking back up, he saw Molly smile and wave before she put both of her arms down to her sides to allow for easier access. Then as if someone took a swift sip from a straw, Molly was rushed into the lamp before the lamp also somehow sucked in itself. Simon looked around the restaurant and nobody seemed to notice that his date disappeared into a literal cloud of smoke. Nope. Magic's weird, y'all.
