Not quite the end - there will be another chapter after this ...
*******
"I'm sorry to hear about your father." said Yasina. Who knows? Perhaps she meant it. "What about that little maid? Wasn't she your first love? Do you want me to find her a place here, at the Palace? We could have her close by for you."
And under the watchful eyes of the Empress and her chief eunuch, I thought. I had a vision of Minika laboring in the kitchens, being groped by the cooks. "Thank you." I said, instead. "I sent her to live with a friend - a poor student. He wants to marry her."
- "Ah." said Yasina. "Well, it's not as if you don't have enough to do here. For one thing, you've been neglecting the concubines ..."
And she went back to her intrigues without missing a beat. I wondered if Yasina felt threatened by Bereyar, somehow. She wanted me to resume a schedule of sleeping with all of the concubines.
Her son's reaction was much more natural. "I am sorry for your loss." said Bishkur. "Your father sounded like a very perceptive man. I know that it was not possible, but I would have liked to meet him."
- "It might be better this way." I said. "He's no longer a hostage for my good behavior."
- "I suspect he would have enjoyed your wedding." said the Emperor.
Nanka also knew. She continued to attend me in the baths, and to shave me.
- "Sorry." she said."For your father."
For some inexplicable reason, that brought the tears back to my eyes. I couldn't even begin to understand why.
There was no way that I could tell Bereyar what had happened. But I was happy to be reunited with her - even after four days. She was enthusiastic as ever. Her brilliant smile, the vitality shining from her eyes ... they were a tremendous tonic for me.
She let me tell her about my 'inspection tour', but then her hands began to roam. Soon she was unfastening my clothing.
- "We can talk later." she said.
Bereyar wanted me inside her, and was impatient with any preliminary. She drew me onto her bed, and pulled me atop her. The moment of penetration was exquisite.
- "You're so ... wet." I said.
- "That's a ... good thing - isn't it?" she replied.
- "Of course. It's just - I did nothing to ... prepare you." I said.
- "I've been thinking about you all morning." she confessed. Then she wrapped her arms and legs around me, spoiling my balance completely, so that I collapsed, my full weight on her.
She groaned, and then thrust her tongue into my mouth. It was perhaps the most emotionally satisfying coupling of our brief life together. Bereyar brought an incredible intensity to our lovemaking. And on this occasion, I was able to match her.
Afterwards, as we basked in the afterglow of orgasm, I wondered if my emotions were wrapped up in my father's passing. Or was it connected to the catharsis of finally telling Minika the truth?
Where did Bereyar fit into this? Did I have the capacity to love her, fully and unreservedly, given my feelings for Min - even while I kept horrific secrets from her?
I even found a moment to worry that she had heard me use a contraction - something Bishkur never did. Even when our bodies were joined together, a part of my mind had to concentrate on playing my role. So much of my life had become a performance.
- "Where are you?" she said, softly. "You seem even further away than usual."
- "Pardon? What do you mean?" I asked.
- "Your thoughts are elsewhere. Your body is here, but your mind is roaming far afield." she said. "When we make love, I can feel that your heart is fully engaged. But I sometimes wonder what you are thinking. Today, it is more pronounced than usual."
- "My ... friend died. My old tutor." I said.
- "You were close?"
- "Very."
- "What was his name?" she asked.
- "Batir."
Bereyar had wonderful instincts. She could tell that I was feeling pain, but also that I didn't want to talk about it. So she simply enfolded me in her arms, and put her head against my chest.
*******
A month later, Nima was swelling visibly. Olom was already big as barrel. Adina and Taola still weren't showing. And Raia, it turned out, was not pregnant at all. She had simply skipped her menstrual period, for some reason. The Palace doctor explained that this was not uncommon, though in his experience it usually occurred with older women.
And then Bereyar told me her news: "I'm going to have a baby."
She was thrilled, but nervous, too. I shared those mixed feelings. I had no doubt that Bereyar would be a wonderful mother, just as she was the best of wives. If the child turned out to be anything like her, we would be blessed. The Empire would be blessed.
But I worried about how Bishkur would take it. His congratulations were hearty, and sounded sincere, but I saw his fingers twitch, nervously. That was totally unlike him. So I dragged him out on to a balcony, determined to find out what he was thinking.
- "Is this bad news?" I asked him, point-blank.
- "Of course not." he answered. "I am very pleased for you both." Bishkur was a terrible liar.
- "But this isn't necessarily good news for you - personally." I guessed.
He peered at my face. Then he decided to admit it. "It is possible that this may not be the most ... propitious eventuality. For me, that is."
- "How so?"
- "My mother and her advisors may decide that I am now ... superfluous. From their point of view. They may not need me for their future plans." said Bishkur.
- "What do you mean? You think -"
- "My mother has ceased badgering me to 'try again' with a virgin concubine. Why bother, when you can marry in my stead? If you can produce a child, she could just as easily rule through a minor as through me.
More
easily, in fact."
- "Is that possible? That your mother would decide that you're ... expendable?" I asked.
- "Very much so." he said. "That is why I have pushed for this wedding. To force her to show her hand."
- "Wait - you're saying that you proposed this wedding, knowing that it would put you in danger. And you really believe that your own mother would have you killed?"
- "Are you forgetting how my father died?" asked Bishkur.
- "But - you're
her son
. And there's the water project - no one else could carry that on. It would fall apart without you."
- "Neither she nor Opkor care for my project. It has already served its purpose, as far as they are concerned." he said.
I was shaking my head. "I can't believe it."
- "I will tell you this much, Carrach: if you see that your guard, Notroh, has been assigned to me ... then you will know: I am in immediate danger."
- "Notroh? Why?"
- "Because he is her killer."
- "
Notroh