Grace had been stapling papers for the past thirty minutes. I swore to God if she didn't stop within five,
I'd
staple her perfect little manicured hands to her desk. I had had two cups of decaffeinated tea this morning and a fifteen minute walk around the MMG building, but I was still jittery, unable to focus on prepping the client account for the department meeting next week.
In the cubicle next to me, Miguel typed away on his keyboard, oblivious to my suffering, white earbuds nestled in his ears. I could hear him faintly humming along to the music as he worked. I could usually count on him to commiserate with me when one of our coworkers was being annoying, but it looked like today I was on my own.
I sighed, pulling up my Internet browser to peruse the news. Nothing good ever happened in the world on a Tuesday morning. That's what my mother always said.
"Cara!"
I jumped. Jodee, the office manager, was making her way toward me, a sheaf of papers clutched in one arm. For a woman in her early forties, she looked older, probably due to the four or so smoke breaks she'd been taking every day for the past ten years.
And she still takes an hour lunch
.
"Hi, Jodee," I greeted. "Everything all right?"
"Come see me in my office, will you?" she breezed past me, leaving a cloud of cloying perfume in her wake.
My shoulders hunched but I somehow managed to hold in the gagging. "Sure, give me a minute."
She had a bright corner office, but the shades were drawn against the afternoon sunlight, bringing some relief to the newly upholstered armchairs in front of her modest desk. I sat on the edge of one gingerly, trying to not to show how anxious I felt.
Jodee set the paper on her desk and tapped her keyboard to wake up her laptop. "I wanted to ask if you'd followed up with Carson from EdgeLife. They've been anxious to get numbers back from us for a while now. Aren't you the lead for that?"
"Yes. I forwarded their request to Michael, he was supposed to brief them on their status before transferring them over to me." I had cc'd her on the email last week. She clearly hadn't read it.
Jodee squinted at me. "I see. And did you follow up with Michael?"
I shook my head.
Her features took on a softer bent. "Cara, as Lead, you should be following up on these things. Are you able to keep up with your duties?"
Aw, crap. "I am," I assured her, "I just thought Michael would get back to them promptly, and it slipped my mind."
"Performance reviews are around the corner, you know," Jodee hinted, leaning forward on her desk. "You've missed some important company emails lately and forgot to dial in for a call with Onyx last week." Onyx was MMG's largest client.
"I know, I'm sorry about that. I've been going through some changes in my personal life. It's been a little rocky, but things are starting to straighten themselves out. It won't happen again," I said firmly, trying to look convincing. Jodee was not my direct superior, but her position as office manager lent her some degree of oversight for the staff working on my floor. I personally believed she didn't give a rat's ass about anything we did, unless it made her look bad.
If she noticed the bags under my eyes, or my lackluster complexion, she chose to ignore it. I'd slept about three hours last night after talking with Rex, waking up about every thirty or so minutes, and that was
after
taking two doses of melanin. I hope it wasn't going to be a recurring pattern. No person could function properly on so little sleep.
"We do have a wellness counselor if you need to talk to them," Jodee said, surprising me. She didn't look the least concerned. "Transitions can be stressful."
"Thanks, I'll think about it." I got up, sensing the finality of our meeting in her tone. As I reached for the door knob, I felt a zap of electricity hit the back of my neck. A shiver took hold of my shoulders, like a dusting of snow on bare skin. It cascaded over my body, falling in a cool shimmer down to my toes. The air in my lungs felt like ice. I felt like I was standing on the edge of a frozen lake, and all around me the world was blanketed in snow.
The strange sensation left within the span of a heartbeat, fizzling out like sparklers. But it had left something behind. Several somethings, in fact.
Jodee. Steel. Momentum. Bodies colliding.
"Yes?" the office manager prompted, seeing me pause.
"Sorry," I chirped, closing the door behind me.
***
"I think I'm losing my mind." I rubbed my eyes, hunched forward over my knees. "I'm hearing things, having weird dreams, forgetting things. I'm not
that
old to already be having dementia." I morosely watched the ducks paddling in Hawthorne lake, sitting on a bench in the shade of a tall oak. Across the lake was Hunter Boulevard and my apartment complex, Ashbrook Studios.
Mary-Anne shifted next to me, the smell of orange chicken permeating the still air as she popped a morsel into her mouth with bamboo chopsticks.
"I haven't had a decent night's sleep that I can remember, either." I made a self-pitying noise. "Mary-Anne, you've got to help me."
"Eat your noodles," was all she said.
I made a face at her but dutifully picked up the box beside me. I wasn't very hungry, but it was my first meal all day, so I shoved a helping of noodles into my mouth and chewed.
"Tell me about these dreams," Mary-Anne said, turning to face me. I rolled my eyes. Why did everyone seem so interested in my dreams? "I'm serious!" she insisted. "Maybe they mean something, you know?"
I scrunched my face up. "I don't know, they're all dark and scary. There's fire and lots of yelling." I couldn't keep the sadness from my voice. "I wake up crying."
"Oh, wow..." her voice trailed off. She looked at me worriedly. "Are those the only ones?"
"Yes."
Well, except for the sex fantasy-memories of Rex that randomly pop into my head.
"Well, I'm sure they'll go away, eventually."
"It's starting to affect my work. I got called into Jodee's office today."
"Cara!"
I pursed my lips, unhappy with myself. My head was throbbing. I took another bite from my carton, chiding myself for not eating all day, which probably contributed to why I felt so tired.