This is not a romance. This is not a coming of age. This is not a classic good versus evil. This is the story of how I fucked up the world.
I was just an average guy named Lorenzo desperately seeking a little adventure. I hit thirty and found myself disappointed with my life so far. I decided it was time to see the world and unfortunately for me I took my inspiration from a certain fictional professor of archaeology I'll refer to as Dr. J. There were, however, no Nazis to fight.
Alright, I was lying about the average guy description. I looked average. I wasn't ugly or overweight, but I wasn't exactly ripped either. I was about 5 foot 10 inches, brown hair, hazel eyes. I was completely overlooked by just about everyone. I was also not a talker, which didn't really help my cause. What I was, though, was a genius and maybe a bit of a madman by societal standards. I had a bit of an alien thought process, you see. I could think in extra dimensions. I won't bother trying to explain the visuals of that process, as that is hardly possible. Words fail when the subject of the explanation cannot possibly think in that manner. Now, that doesn't make me some kind of superhuman, just super weird. In any case, there is always a drawback. Aside from not being able to share this information in a way that makes any sense I lose the ability to speak when my mind is in that place. There are, after all, only so many neurons in the brain even if you have novel ways to use them. Unfortunately, I can slip into that thought process without warning. My social life, especially my love life, has suffered greatly from this. I've had some relationships, but no woman has been able to deal with me longer than a few months. So, nothing to tie me down, really. Yes, I have parents, but we live very separate lives.
I went to the Aztec sites of Mexico and Central America. I went to Rome, to Cairo, and to Jerusalem. I'm not allowed back in Jerusalem. The antiquities authority there are a bit touchy about unauthorized digging. In retrospect, I probably should have gotten approval on the custom-built drilling rig I created for the job. Today, though, I found myself in the tiny Greek town of Katakolo.
While most visitors were tourists that were day-trippers from cruise ships that wanted to see Olympia or the Museum of Greek Technology I was there for a very different reason. Through some admittedly dubious contacts I had in the Ministry of Culture I heard about an underwater cave that was recently exposed after some seismic activity. There were rumors that the structure of the cave was unnatural, with sharp, nearly square edges and no signs of erosion. On a sight so close to Olympia I simply couldn't resist a look. Even then I realized what a stupid idea this was, but it was just too much of an adventurer's fantasy to stop myself... especially when I saw my guide.
She was the epitome of Greek beauty. She was at least 5 foot 8, chestnut brown hair with eyes to match, golden brown skin, an athletic figure, and pert b-cup breasts. All of that was wrapped in a skin-tight wet suit and I suspected nothing else. The front was partially unzipped providing a tantalizing glimpse of her cleavage.
"I am Sofia," she introduced herself, "I am to be your guide. You are the crazy American, yes?" I should have taken that as an insult, but she wasn't exactly wrong. And the judicious, albeit professional, smile on her face told me she didn't mind. I had plenty of flaws, but self-awareness wasn't one of them.
"Yes, that's me, but I usually go by Lorenzo," I said with a friendly smile in return.
"Very good, Lorenzo. Most Americans are crazy, but few have the good sense to know it." No doubt her near perfect English helped her deal with we crazy Americans.
"I suppose you deal with a lot of Americans?"
"Ha! I suppose that's true, but in truth most of my..." she paused in search of the perfect word, "patrons are crazy. You spoke to the other cave diver guides, correct?"
I responded, "Yes, I did."
"And they all told you no?"
"Well yes, they all told me to come to you instead."
Her smirk grew larger as she said, "That is because I am also crazy, of course."
"I suppose that's also why you charge double what the other guides do?"
"No-no! I charge more because I am worth it!" she exclaimed with a brief giggle.
Goddamn, she was worth it and we hadn't even boarded our boat yet. My mind slipped into multi-dimensional thoughts as I analyzed her. I didn't mention this before, but that extra thought space afforded me some more practical uses than mathematical models and hyper-spatial imaginings. Her entire bearing, all of her words, and her eyes were that of a predator. Not in a malicious manner, mind you. It was subtle in a way only a woman could be. Someone that new emphatically that she was in control, but would never let you know it. Such a woman would never settle for anything less than everything her heart desired, because she could get it. To me, this was a woman in her most beautiful form. Inspiring, confident, gorgeous, and deadly. This woman was the sun and I was Icarus. Getting too close would surely melt my wings and leave me to plummet to my doom. Like Icarus, I couldn't resist such temptation.
Before my thoughts slipped so far that I couldn't speak I said, "Well, in that case, if we make it out of there intact, I'd like to buy you a drink."
She stood there and smiled for a moment. It was not a smile of awkwardness, but one of appraisal. She no doubt knew she was out of my league, but she seemed to like crazy. "For such a privilege you must prove yourself in the dive."
It wasn't a no, which might have been more merciful as my diving skills were intermediate at best, but I gave a simple nod in response and then pulled my thoughts back to the task at hand. I looked down at my gear, absently checking it over, and then hefted it over a shoulder to carry it to her boat. She took the lead and proceeded to the end of the dock to her modest sized vessel. It was big enough for perhaps four people and all of their gear. In short order we were backing out of the dock and heading to the dive site.
Sofia opened the throttle to full barely moments after we cleared the dock. I was still standing and found myself falling into a seat. There was a mischievous grin on Sofia's lips as the wind whipped her hair about her face. My Greek was rudimentary, but I was certain I saw a "No Wake" sign less than a hundred yards from the boat. I swear I saw an angry fisherman shaking his fist at our boat.
In short order we arrived at the dive site. I took one last look at Sofia's partially exposed cleavage and committed it to memory. After all, if she had to save my ass she'd never let me see that again. I put on my dive equipment. Fortunately, the cave wasn't that deep; compressed air was good enough. Also, being that the waters of the Ionian Sea were warm enough we only needed wet suits, rather than the heavier dry suits. I was sure as hell nervous about this. I'd studied cave diving as soon as I heard about the site, but I had no experience in it. I know, I know. Making my first cave dive in a seismically active area was not the wisest decision, but I think I covered my deficiency in judgement earlier.
Sofia dropped anchor and a dive buoy before donning her equipment. Once the dive began we wouldn't be able to speak except with hand signals, so she took the time to give me her instructions and expectations, "We need to stay close. I will take the lead. I will anchor a line at the mouth of the cave and when we've run out of rope we will need to turn back. When we have gone through half our air we will need to turn back. Do not let yourself panic. Keep your kicks shallow. If we lose our way we will not see daylight again. Do you understand?"
I nodded my agreement to the suddenly serious guide. Without wasting another second, she jumped into the sea. I quickly followed after her. We both checked that our respirators were clear and the extra tanks were still attached. We also had small emergency respirators attached to our belts. We quickly started to descend. The mouth of the cave was only thirty meters from the surface. As we entered the cave I couldn't help but think we were being swallowed by some great sea-beast. The jagged rocks weren't helping my feelings on the matter. Clearly this cave had been closed a long time. There were no signs of significant erosion.
The passage was narrow and twisting. My excitement was long gone before half an hour passed. Half way through our max time of two hours those jagged rocks came into play. The tension on the guide rope slackened. Sofia realized it first and came to a stop. She looked around for a moment and then looked up. I followed her gaze. The lights attached to our masks showed a dark spot above us. A sign of an air pocket. Most likely it wasn't breathable, but she released some of the air from her respirator and I did the same. She then pointed to the pocket and made her brief ascension. I followed her lead.
When we were face-to-face she spoke, "The rope must have cut on the rocks. We will abort the dive. We need to backtrack to the last anchor point." I was in no mood to argue the merits of continuing. I might have insisted we fix the rope and continue before we started this trek, but the dive was taking its toll. I wasn't panicking, panicking would certainly lead to death, but my anxiety was growing.
We started to make our way out, or what we thought was out of the cave. Waiting for us was a rock slide. The rope hadn't cut because of the protrusions on the cave wall, but from a cave-in. We looked at each other. I knew that if she were to panic so would I and then we were done for, but she didn't. She swam back the way we came and we just kept moving forward, hoping for another way out or at least a place we could pull ourselves out of the water.
I think the only thing that kept me from vomiting in worry was the water pressure. I silently swore this would be my last stupid adventure. This was the moment I realized how stupid all of this was. I was risking my life in the hunt for a few trinkets and to make a name for myself. It was so utterly pointless and now I was sure I was going to die in this cave where no one would ever find my body. I almost wish I had.
In my introspection I nearly swam into Sofia. She was stopped in front of what I thought was another dead end, but upon looking closer I could see the top of the water. This was much larger than any of the previous air-pockets we saw before. Those could only hold a few minutes of air. She swam to the top and disappeared. She'd hoisted herself out of the water! I quickly followed. Once out of the water it looked like we were in a massive cavern. Like an idiot I pulled my respirator from my mouth and took a deep breath. The air was absolutely foul.
