"Stan, Julie, how are we feeling today?"
Stan jolted upright. They'd been waiting for ten minutes in Dr. Saunders's office after waiting thirty minutes in his waiting room and it had sunken him into a grumpy slouch. Stan grabbed his wife's hand and squeezed it. "We're fine, just fine."
"Good!" Saunders moved around to the other side of the desk, dropping one stack of folders and turning his attention to another. The man seemed to be constantly an hour behind and up to his neck in work, but never looked tired. Stan thought it was amazingly irritating, especially since he always looked and felt exhausted. But, from the look of him, Dr. Saunders somehow found time to get to the gym and eat salads and go on long therapeutic walks. Stan, on the other hand, slept late, ate garbage, and spent his few minutes of free time either drinking or playing video games. Stan self consciously smoothed out his shirt, trying unsuccessfully to flatten out the small pudge growing on his midsection. Saunders found their file and began to read through it. "Sorry about the wait," he murmured.
Julie smiled and pulled her hand away from her husband, "The nurse told us you were caught in a delivery. I didn't think you actually did that part."
Saunders leaned back in his chair with their file held out in front of him, as though he were reading a newspaper. "Normally, no. Well, I have several patients that I assist until they deliver, but I'm not usually the one doing the delivery. We partner with Dr. May who oversees the...results, shall we say. But, yes, I apologize. One of our clients went into labor this morning and Dr. May was caught in an unfortunate timing snafu, so I had to fill in for a while. Not that we do too much on that end except run the clock and make sure nothing goes wrong. Now, I'm just reading your test results here and I have good news."
Julie's hand grabbed Stan's again, squeezing tighter. He looked over at his wife, her face full of joy. "So, we don't have any...plumbing...problems?"
Saunders dropped the file on his desk and waved his hand over it, "All the numbers look within the range for conception. Stan your count is a little low for a man your age, but still above what we would consider alarming." He shut the file and looked up at them, grey eyes suddenly focused acutely. "That said, we first saw you almost fifteen months ago and so far you've not had any luck. We've talked about lifestyle changes and you've said that you're making an effort on that front. Right?"
Again Julie's hand slipped away. "I have," she said. "I've been exercising more and eating better. I've even lost a few pounds. Stan, though, has...well, work is difficult and honestly without his job then we wouldn't even be here."
Saunders held up his hand before Julie or Stan could explain further. "Don't worry, I understand completely. We've reached a bit of a self-perpetuating cycle, unfortunately. You need to be healthier and less stressed in order to achieve a goal that the lack of achieving is causing you stress which leads to unhealthy living and more stress. Julie, I think you're seeing more success in your efforts because the goal is a lot more tangible to you, and to any mother really. Many fathers, on the other hand, can remain distant or not emotionally invested in pregnancy up until the actual birth. Don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying that Stan doesn't want kids, just the opposite actually. The issue for Stan, and don't let me put too many words in your mouth, is that conceptualizing the result is more difficult. You've mentioned before, Stan, that you were the youngest in your family, right?"
Stan shifted in his seat, growing more uncomfortable under the steely gaze. "Right."
"So I'm guessing your exposure to infants and young children in general has been pretty limited."
"I think so."
"That's a good indicator then. I can tell you all day about how wonderful having kids can be, but until that clicks in your brain, you're not going to have a real goal to achieve."
Stan sighed and leaned forward onto his knees. He loved Julie more than anything and wanted kids as much as he knew how, but something about Saunders's assessment hit close to home. "So what do we do next. I go to therapy?"
Saunders's gaze broke into a warm smile, "No, I don't think you need therapy. At least not about this. Instead, I think its come time to consider some alternative approaches. Now, most folk think we jump straight to the big ones like IVF. Traditionally when we get into that conversation, we're talking about some fertility drugs that facilitate the various parts of ovulation, making conception more likely. Some of that leads into IVF, some doesn't. And we can go that route if you want, but it is exceptionally expensive even with your insurance and I don't think its the best path available to us at this point."
The doctor shot up out his chair and went over to a filing cabinet in the corner. He entered a passcode and the drawers opened with a loud click. Saunders hummed to himself as he flipped through the different files before withdrawing one and shutting the cabinet back with another clank and click. "Ferrosyfetalin," he said. "Mouthful, isn't it. And that's the short version. The full version is about forty two letters long and doesn't make a lick of sense. This is a brand new drug, well brand new type of drug. I first heard about it about seven years ago and then earlier in the year our clinic got contacted as one of the places trials could take place. We've used it with three couples and all three conceived within two months."
"Hell, why didn't we start with that then," Stan blurted out.
Saunders grinned. "It's not without risk. The mechanism for it is unique among this drug class. It induces in the body, both for men and women, a state of hyper reproductivity. For women that can mean increased ovulation windows, for example. More receptive hormonal environments for successful conception. For men, an increase in sperm count and general sperm health. For each of you, that's only the start though. Your bodies would be very eager to reproduce which means..."
"We'll be super horny?" Julie asked, flatly.
"In so many words, yes," Saunders said with a nod. "Might not sound like a bad deal at first. But with this first round of testing, one couple reported a debilitating need to...find release. It led to some significant problems for them, though it was temporary."
Stan raised his hand slightly and Saunders paused to give him the floor, "Are you saying that the effect could be permanent?"
