The Light Within

I was panting like a bitch in heat. I was grinding and humping against Perikos' mass as he carried me I knew not where. Had I been in my right mind I would have asked, but Perikos and Shadow seemed hellbent on ruining what shreds of dignity I had left. Something brushed my clit again, too fleeting to do more than raise my ire to the bursting point. I did not sign up for torment, thank you very much.

Perikos slowed his pace and stopped in front of what might have been an ocean, judging just by the shear expanse of it. I could barely make it out in the darkness except for the way it reflected the starlight on its obsidian surface.

I twisted and squirmed and maybe Perikos got the message or maybe he was just playing with me now, trying to get me riled up, but he all but dropped me onto the soft black sandy shore.

"Okay, Perikos. We have to talk." I straightened myself up and brushed the sand off my ass and thighs. "This new scheme you and he worked out? It's not happening. It's done, it's over. Chalk it up to a failed experiment."

I couldn't tell what he was feeling, either because he didn't know himself or he was getting better at hiding it. His tone was even, careful. "

You may as well drink and bathe when you have the chance, Jayn. The opportunity may not present itself again any time soon."

"Look," I jabbed a finger at his mass, making sure to locate Shadow and direct some of my anger at him too, "I am not messing around. I will do all kinds of crazy, unbelievable, freaky things for you! I won't even complain! But you're talking physical, psychological torture! You make the rules for your people but you don't make them for me, got it? I'm a free agent! I came here because I wanted to, and I'm still here because I still want to be here! Don't fuck with me, either of you! Being here - being me - is hard enough without you making it that much harder!"

With that I tossed my sweaty, greasy hair, turned on heel and walked into the water. It was chilly but not totally unpleasant. I drank greedily from the fresh water, giving them both a moment to digest my ultimatum. And they had better think about it because I meant business, I reminded myself as I dipped my head beneath the water to scrub my scalp. Actually, I thought I was to be commended for my decorum. I mean, sure, they had to know I was serious so a small tantrum might be justified, but I had waited to give it to them until we were stopped at our next location. I had spent three and a half hours bottling up my rage and indignation and the way I saw it, if the worst they got from me was a strongly worded warning, I ought to have been congratulated for my restraint.

I finished cleaning myself, or at least rinsing myself. I massaged the silty black sand into arms and legs in the hopes of rubbing off dead skin in lieu of any actual soap. I turned to the shore and saw Perikos and Shadow next to one another, probably communicating. Probably Shadow was trying to have me flayed alive and Perikos was explaining to him that I wasn't...I don't know, livestock, or whatever.

"So," I said, returning to the shore. It wasn't a question; more of a prompting for an apology than anything. Then I felt it hit me.

I was on my back in water a few centimeters deep. Perikos' huge black shape pinned me to the shore, tendrils on my wrists and ankles. I saw Shadow move behind me and felt him touch my right ankle. It was frightening and oddly reassuring at once. It meant whatever was going to happen, they both wanted in on it.

"

Jayn,"

Perikos' voice wrenched my attention back at him. "

I wish we had the luxury of enjoying these battles of will between us. I imagine the excitement of allowing my future subjects to be near us as I use you in ways you have never experienced. I would be thrilled to take you somewhere secluded and remote and give you a head start before the chase would begin. Do you remember, Jayn? Like we did on the ship?"

He paused a moment, maybe waiting for my reply but I could already tell I wouldn't like where this was going.

"

If you remember the ship, Jayn, then you will remember that you promised me obedience. You took the adornment I made just for you and you vowed to abide my decisions."

"Well, I didn't know then how wrong your decisions could be!"

Perikos was silent for a moment again. When he sang again, his tone was once again even, precise. "

I have, of course, lamented the mistakes I have made. The ones I have made that have hurt my people and the ones that have hurt you. I take complete responsibility for everything that has happened to you that I could have prevented. Naturally that inspires much regret on my part, though I can hardly be effective if I dwell on regrets rather than positive action."

I felt a slender tendril trace the line of my jaw.

"

Little Shade, you have given me so much but have refused to willingly give me the only thing I have asked for from you. Obedience."

"But –"

"

For you to obey me, you must trust me. You claim to have great affection, great 'love', for me and yet you do not trust me?"

I squirmed under him uncomfortably. "Well...let's just say I don't think you're perfect."

I heard a sound like bells tinkling. "

No, nor are you. You are fragile and have many personal needs. You are demanding and insubordinate. You are emotional, loud, unreasonable and disobedient. If I thought there would be a point I would punish you but I cannot treat you as I would one of my kind. You are what you are and I accept it. In fact, it is partly due to your contrary nature that you are so pleasurable to arouse. You do not accept yourself anymore than you do me. But that will change today."

I felt an invisible storm brewing between us and Shadow was an eager spectator.

"

You may always grumble and protest, you may always struggle and bargain and plead but know this, Little Shade: you are mine. Everything you say or do, every hunger or fear you feel, everything you are here is my responsibility. You are not, as you say, a 'free agent.' You made several decisions for yourself because I allowed you the freedom to make them. I am not above forcing you, not after what happened with the Loyalists. You eat and sleep and breathe and live because of me."

I tried to turn my head away, but Perikos held my chin in place.

"

That is not a threat or a conceit, Little Shade, just a fact. I do not want you so I can use you or torture you or whatever foolish accusation you have leveled against me. The Loyalists spoke of the possibility or cloning or breeding humans. They cannot with their current technological limits, but I tell you this because you have to trust my motives. I want you to safe and happy. You will be safe if I can overthrow the King at his encampment. And you will be happy if you will let go and realize your place here.

"

"And what is that?" I asked, my voice betraying my internal battle between umbrage and affection.

"

I told you, Jayn. You are utterly and entirely mine. My Second obeys my wishes and feeds on you because I request it. In terms of our shared mutual affection, you are my Partner, my Companion but our places here are very different. I am your keeper, your...owner, for want of a more precise term. You are my most precious possession."

"I'm a person, not a thing," I couldn't keep the growl out of my voice.

"

I have never had affection for 'things',"

Perikos' tune was warm but serious.

"Indeed, you are more valuable to me personally than any member of my kind has been. Were it possible or desirable, I would mate with you properly but of course it is neither those things and so neither of our destiny's will lead us to that conclusion. Our...disparate power dynamic does not rob me of affection for you. Quite the contrary, you have learned you thrive on dependence and I have learned it is in my nature to enjoy controlling you. Your proper place is one of surrender to me and mine is one of control. With that, protection and appreciation. You must give me absolute trust."

I considered everything he had said. It was true, pretty much all of it. I trusted that much. It was pure delusion on my part if I thought I was in an equal in this. I wasn't strong enough or fast enough or tough enough to survive hardly at all on my own. I was Public Enemy Number Two, maybe even Number One just by virtue of being the only walking battery pack on the planet and I didn't know where I was going or what I would do if I got there. I needed Perikos in a way he would never need me, but he wanted me and it was for more than just sex. Sex for me of course – I had to remind myself that I had no idea what sex might mean for him. I was a babe in the woods, hopeless and mostly helpless but could I give him what he wanted?

"You said it yourself," I felt my eyes watering a little, though I wasn't sure why. "I'm demanding, unreasonable – what else did you say? Belligerent. You know that."

"Yes, I know that,"

Perikos stroked me cheeks and forehead.

"Well, then you should know I can't just do what I'm told and I can't trust anyone completely. I can't not question, I can't be someone I'm not." There they were, those fucking tears again. Because I was a disappointment. Perikos only needed a few things from me and I had to fight him every step of the way. I had to, it was impossible to stop.

"You don't need to be sorrowful, Jayn. I do not resent your nature. I tell you this plainly so you will remember my words when I am holding you down, forcing you to accept whatever I feel is appropriate. Let me show you in a moment but from now on we will have no more illusions about your right to decide your future."

"I don't even need to speak anymore then, I guess. I'm just here for food?" I said before I could curb the impulse.

"Don't be so dramatic, Little Shade. When I actually wish to silence you, I do so without hesitation. The rest of the time I enjoy your thoughts, your opinions and feelings, even if they do not change my decision. I am very pleased to possess you. Allow me to illustrate my point."

I felt him move off of me, so the bulk of his mass rested behind my head. Shadow hung around by my right ankle, virtually unmoved by Perikos' and my heart to heart.

"My Second, we will continue where we left off. This is her neck,"

I felt Perikos' tendril on my exposed neck and then I felt Shadow's clammy one follow. I felt my breath catch but I kept my mouth shut.

"This is very important since right here is the best possible place to monitor her heart rate and breathing. She will find it thrilling to have something around her neck and it will allow you to control her quite effectively but you must be extremely cautious. This is one of the most vulnerable places on her body and so I would advise extreme caution. Feel her heartbeat. Can you feel it flutter at the very suggestion that she be lead around in that manner? She is exquisite."

I moaned as I felt Perikos trace a serpentine line over my collarbone and down to my breasts. He encircled my left nipple, which was already rigid, pointing skyward. Shadow followed him and wound around my right nipple. He tugged my breast down towards him while Perikos pulled my left breast up towards my chin.

"You have discerned the affect manipulation of these have on her if not their intended purpose, have you not? They are an important female characteristic among her species. Notice they are soft, round and smooth but when you squeeze them hard you will notice they are solid. If she was carrying offspring, these would produce fluid to feed them. She enjoys any and all attention they receive and they are both sensitive and yet durable. They can take a certain amount of abuse and are suitable for striking, provided you are careful not to inflict serious or permanent damage."

How was it possible that Perikos knew so much about humans when the rest of his kind seemed to know nothing? I didn't have time to ponder further before I felt Perikos hook two thick, powerful tentacles under my knees and pull them back to expose my pussy and ass. I tried to wriggle away but Perikos held my arms and legs firmly and all I could do was squeeze my eyes shut and try to deal with the humiliation. I felt a cool breeze tickle my wet folds and I felt horribly exposed.

"These are her other main orifices. This,"

he traced slow, deliberate circles around my entrance, teasing my slick, swollen lips,

"is her primary sex organ. You are no doubt acquainted it, having used it once already to strengthen yourself when you and Jayn were captured."

His tune was devoid of any accusation but it betrayed nothing else either. He was probably trying to stifle his normal jealous impulses but he had nothing to be jealous about, particularly then. And now, actually, since this was hardly my idea. I felt him pinch my clit and I began to buck and howl. I was too sensitive to process such direct stimulation.

"

Though it is small, you can see this part is very sensitive. You can use it to tease her and keep her aroused, to bring her to orgasm rapidly or to distract her from unpleasant internal or external occurrences. Direct your appendage there and stimulate her."

I had to close my eyes again, even though it was so dark I could have barely made anything out anyway. I couldn't watch as Shadow pressed his soft, oily tendril to my throbbing clit and ground against it. I thrashed and howled again, unable to control the sensory overload. It was too slow, too shallow and they'd been teasing me for hours. I needed more, if I didn't lose my mind completely getting there.

"

Of course, Jayn is a complex creature and need not only be pleasured in one way. Enter her now, making sure you do so slowly and fill her completely. Stretch her if need be but be careful not to tear her on the inside."

Shadow wasted little time and I felt his tentacle, wide and smooth burrow inside me, twisting and pushing slowly, heeding Perikos' advice about stretching me to accommodate his girth.

"Oh shit," I moaned, my eyes tearing from the strain as Perikos held my arms down over my head. Even the chill from the tide coming in couldn't distract me.

"

Silly Shade, you've taken more than that and begged me not to stop. Why do you protest now?"

Because it's not you, stupid. Well, that wasn't entirely it. Maybe I had tightened up in our downtime or maybe I wasn't use to taking someone or something I didn't completely like inside me. Or maybe I was still sore from our escape.

I felt something jar inside me.

"

You have reached the entrance to her womb. While it is technically possible for us to penetrate that barrier, I would ask you not to, as it can be painful and dangerous."

I felt Perikos' attention shift.

"Can you perceive this with your eyes, Little Shade?"

I opened one eye, then the other and strained in near perfect darkness but there was no avoiding what was so close to my face. An oily tentacle nearly as thick as my wrist was imbedded in me and seeing it made me clench around Shadow and I felt some flicker of something in him, some emotion.

"

Do you...enjoy this?"

Shadow's tone was soft and totally incredulous. What, wasn't Perikos' word enough for him? Couldn't he tell just by touching me? I tried to close my legs but Perikos held them wide open. I felt myself tearing up from shame, from humiliation.

"

Answer him, Little Shade,"

said Perikos. Insult to injury.

"No," I said, turning my face away from both of them, squeezing my eyes shut. How did we get to this? To two tentacle aliens holding me down and fucking me and then making me feel like a freak?

"

Please do as I ask, Jayn. It would disappoint me to have you refuse my wishes,"

said Perikos. Well, far be it for me to disappoint him by not doing whatever horrible thing he wanted. I felt hot tears running down my face in earnest now but Perikos still held me wide open and Shadow was wedged deep inside me. He hadn't even moved.

"Fuck you, you know I enjoy it. You can feel that," my voice has low, heated, husky with anger, humiliation and, despite myself, arousal. "Perikos told you I like, you don't believe him? This whole stupid thing is predicated on the idea that you can do this to me and I'll like it. So why the fuck would you ask?"

They were both silent for a moment, although neither allowed me to move. Perikos brushed the tears from my reddened cheeks and stroked the backs of my knees but Shadow stayed just where he was; painfully inside of me, unnaturally still. Finally he sang, and when he did it was an odd tempo...not actually apologetic but I heard something in it I hadn't heard from him before.

"

I believed you enjoyed what Leader did to you because you both share the bond of Kragosa. But I did not think...I mean, I would not have guessed...I only mean that it is an extraordinary thing that one kind of creature, born and bred in isolation from other kinds could enjoy alien attentions."

I wanted to interrupt him, to tell him that he had better not insinuate I was crazy or a slut but he kept going. "

I thought Leader's ability to pleasure you was isolated or contingent on your emotional ties to him. Now I realize that you enjoy this feeling of...fullness? That I could...cause such a feeling. How extraordinary that Leader would encounter someone so desirous of such things. Of all the species in the system and all the humans in the Union, that we should have you."

I wasn't sure what to do with that. Shadow expressing wonder? Devotion? Maybe not, maybe something else. Perikos cleared the air.

"

Perhaps it's time to withdraw and move on,"

he told Shadow and I felt the huge tentacle withdraw, aided by the moisture that had been building in me. I expected Perikos to help me up but he kept me down in the water. Instead I felt an almost electric jolt on the pucker beneath.

"

This has its own anatomical purpose,"

Perikos told Shadow and I could only hope he would spare the details. "

This is not a sex organ, though notice I will use it as such. Please respect my wishes and do not penetrate it. It can be very painful and dangerous if not done correctly. You may touch the outside, however."

I began to spasm when I felt Shadow's damp touch circle my most private hole.

"

She is afraid,"

I heard Shadow tell Perikos.

"

Indeed. She fears the discomfort and lack of control penetration there brings. There are many ways to elicit similar emotions without violating any areas I have forbidden."

Before I realized what was happened, I felt Perikos flip me over so I was ass up, face down as the tide rolled in. Perikos wound around my hair like before so even though he pressed me breasts and shoulders into the water, he pulled my hair until I couldn't drown if I wanted to. I felt Perikos and Shadow massage the round globes of my ass.

"

These are excellent for striking if that is your wish, especially while she is being penetrated. If I am taking her smaller hole, even better."

My breath caught in my throat again and I wriggled my hips in spite of the pull from my hair.

"If she enjoys such sensations, why does she protest?"

Shadow's tone was hot and slick.

Perikos stroked my ass and I heard the tinkle of bells yet again. Perikos' laughter filled me to the brim and then washed over the sides. It was always so warm, so jubilant.

"That is a mystery I have only recently resolved. In part it seems to be something of a human mating ritual to feign disinterest or discomfort. I believe your assessment about my extraordinary good fortune in finding a human so compatible is very accurate. In her culture what we share and the physicality behind it are taboo and so she is conflicted about such treatment. That is why she finds so much relief in our control, since she cannot be properly held accountable in her own mind."