I was panting like a bitch in heat. I was grinding and humping against Perikos' mass as he carried me I knew not where. Had I been in my right mind I would have asked, but Perikos and Shadow seemed hellbent on ruining what shreds of dignity I had left. Something brushed my clit again, too fleeting to do more than raise my ire to the bursting point. I did not sign up for torment, thank you very much.
Perikos slowed his pace and stopped in front of what might have been an ocean, judging just by the shear expanse of it. I could barely make it out in the darkness except for the way it reflected the starlight on its obsidian surface.
I twisted and squirmed and maybe Perikos got the message or maybe he was just playing with me now, trying to get me riled up, but he all but dropped me onto the soft black sandy shore.
"Okay, Perikos. We have to talk." I straightened myself up and brushed the sand off my ass and thighs. "This new scheme you and he worked out? It's not happening. It's done, it's over. Chalk it up to a failed experiment."
I couldn't tell what he was feeling, either because he didn't know himself or he was getting better at hiding it. His tone was even, careful. "
You may as well drink and bathe when you have the chance, Jayn. The opportunity may not present itself again any time soon."
"Look," I jabbed a finger at his mass, making sure to locate Shadow and direct some of my anger at him too, "I am not messing around. I will do all kinds of crazy, unbelievable, freaky things for you! I won't even complain! But you're talking physical, psychological torture! You make the rules for your people but you don't make them for me, got it? I'm a free agent! I came here because I wanted to, and I'm still here because I still want to be here! Don't fuck with me, either of you! Being here - being me - is hard enough without you making it that much harder!"
With that I tossed my sweaty, greasy hair, turned on heel and walked into the water. It was chilly but not totally unpleasant. I drank greedily from the fresh water, giving them both a moment to digest my ultimatum. And they had better think about it because I meant business, I reminded myself as I dipped my head beneath the water to scrub my scalp. Actually, I thought I was to be commended for my decorum. I mean, sure, they had to know I was serious so a small tantrum might be justified, but I had waited to give it to them until we were stopped at our next location. I had spent three and a half hours bottling up my rage and indignation and the way I saw it, if the worst they got from me was a strongly worded warning, I ought to have been congratulated for my restraint.
I finished cleaning myself, or at least rinsing myself. I massaged the silty black sand into arms and legs in the hopes of rubbing off dead skin in lieu of any actual soap. I turned to the shore and saw Perikos and Shadow next to one another, probably communicating. Probably Shadow was trying to have me flayed alive and Perikos was explaining to him that I wasn't...I don't know, livestock, or whatever.
"So," I said, returning to the shore. It wasn't a question; more of a prompting for an apology than anything. Then I felt it hit me.
I was on my back in water a few centimeters deep. Perikos' huge black shape pinned me to the shore, tendrils on my wrists and ankles. I saw Shadow move behind me and felt him touch my right ankle. It was frightening and oddly reassuring at once. It meant whatever was going to happen, they both wanted in on it.
"
Jayn,"
Perikos' voice wrenched my attention back at him. "
I wish we had the luxury of enjoying these battles of will between us. I imagine the excitement of allowing my future subjects to be near us as I use you in ways you have never experienced. I would be thrilled to take you somewhere secluded and remote and give you a head start before the chase would begin. Do you remember, Jayn? Like we did on the ship?"
He paused a moment, maybe waiting for my reply but I could already tell I wouldn't like where this was going.
"
If you remember the ship, Jayn, then you will remember that you promised me obedience. You took the adornment I made just for you and you vowed to abide my decisions."
"Well, I didn't know then how wrong your decisions could be!"
Perikos was silent for a moment again. When he sang again, his tone was once again even, precise. "
I have, of course, lamented the mistakes I have made. The ones I have made that have hurt my people and the ones that have hurt you. I take complete responsibility for everything that has happened to you that I could have prevented. Naturally that inspires much regret on my part, though I can hardly be effective if I dwell on regrets rather than positive action."
I felt a slender tendril trace the line of my jaw.
"
Little Shade, you have given me so much but have refused to willingly give me the only thing I have asked for from you. Obedience."
"But –"
"
For you to obey me, you must trust me. You claim to have great affection, great 'love', for me and yet you do not trust me?"
I squirmed under him uncomfortably. "Well...let's just say I don't think you're perfect."
I heard a sound like bells tinkling. "
No, nor are you. You are fragile and have many personal needs. You are demanding and insubordinate. You are emotional, loud, unreasonable and disobedient. If I thought there would be a point I would punish you but I cannot treat you as I would one of my kind. You are what you are and I accept it. In fact, it is partly due to your contrary nature that you are so pleasurable to arouse. You do not accept yourself anymore than you do me. But that will change today."
I felt an invisible storm brewing between us and Shadow was an eager spectator.
"
You may always grumble and protest, you may always struggle and bargain and plead but know this, Little Shade: you are mine. Everything you say or do, every hunger or fear you feel, everything you are here is my responsibility. You are not, as you say, a 'free agent.' You made several decisions for yourself because I allowed you the freedom to make them. I am not above forcing you, not after what happened with the Loyalists. You eat and sleep and breathe and live because of me."
I tried to turn my head away, but Perikos held my chin in place.
"
That is not a threat or a conceit, Little Shade, just a fact. I do not want you so I can use you or torture you or whatever foolish accusation you have leveled against me. The Loyalists spoke of the possibility or cloning or breeding humans. They cannot with their current technological limits, but I tell you this because you have to trust my motives. I want you to safe and happy. You will be safe if I can overthrow the King at his encampment. And you will be happy if you will let go and realize your place here.
"
"And what is that?" I asked, my voice betraying my internal battle between umbrage and affection.
"