A strange little box arrived in the mail today. Keri looked for the return address, but what there was of it was not anyone or any company she recognized. The real problem with the return address was that it apparently was not printed with waterproof ink and was badly smeared. None the less, it was addressed to her and that part was perfectly legible. An innocuous little box, about six inches square, all brown cardboard with brown paper sealing tape holding it shut. Keri set the little box on the kitchen table and sorted through the rest of her mail, with most of it being junk mail and going straight into the trash unopened.
Finally, she turned her attention to the little mystery box. She got a small knife out of the kitchen drawer and cut the tape. Inside was a mass of bubble wrap. She pulled the mass of bubble wrap out and opened it. There, finally, was a bright fuzzy yellow ball that almost looked like a tennis ball, except that the lines of a tennis ball weren’t on this one. A set of plastic lips appeared to be stuck to this odd little ball. Red lips, not unlike the wax ones sold in novelty stores. Under the ball was a folded up piece of paper. Keri set the odd little ball down and unfolded the piece of paper. Maybe this would give her a clue about what it was and who sent it. There were just four printed lines in the middle of the page. They read:
You must be completely naked and sitting down to use this Kissing Ball.
To turn it on, say “Kiss me, kiss me, do.”
To turn it off, say “Kiss me, kiss me, not.”
This Kissing Ball only works three times.
Ha! Yea, right, she thought. Like this thing is actually going to do something? What was it supposed to do anyway, jump up in the air and plant one on her lips? She wondered who sent this and if it was some sort of practical joke. One thing was sure, she wasn’t going to get naked right here in the kitchen and try it. She glanced at the windows. Nope, not open. She had the blinds down as it was a hot day and she had been trying to keep the sun out while she was at work. No, no one could know her habits and think they could send her this little thing and get her to strip in her kitchen so they could see her naked. None the less, she wasn’t about to get undressed and try it.
