Vibrant and Faded
COWARD
It was painted on Noah's door in large letters.
"You can't just let this stand," said Alexis, standing in the doorway to Noah's room and fuming.
"I can, and you wouldn't believe how easy it is," said Noah, sitting at his desk and writing in a notebook. "If anything, I think it's a bit funny. Whoever did it went out of their way to use yellow paint. That, I can appreciate."
"How are you unaffected by this?!"
"Because I literally am unaffected by it. Is it my job to clean the door? Does that paint somehow rob it of its functionality? Someone vandalizing academy property isn't my problem. There is no reason for me to care."
"So you're fine with this label being stuck on you? You're fine with everyone calling you a coward?"
"I'm not going to spontaneously get sick or hurt because of the nasty opinions swirling in those idiots' heads. I don't care what they call me or what they think, as long as they do so quietly. If I just let them have the last word, they'll shut up."
Alexis sighed and closed the door, then sat on the bed. "Are you coming to lunch or not?"
"Funny, you never followed me to the library like this."
"Back when you just studied in the library, you never skipped lunch. I get that you enjoy your privacy and your research, but don't start forgetting to eat. Besides, now that we're neighbors, I can finally get a look at what you're doing. What are you doing anyway?"
"Studying magic, as always."
"Magic that I never see you perform. In fact, I've only ever seen you use magic once, and I didn't actually see it."
"You've been getting rather curious about that as of late. I told you before, I have not been sneaking into the women's baths."
"I know that, but--"
"Or maybe I have. Maybe I was lying before to give you a false sense of security. Then again, there is always the possibility that I'm just saying all this now to mess with you and make you paranoid."
"Ugh, enough already. Seriously though, when we first met, you told me you were going to Colbrand to try and understand your magic, but you've never said anything about it after that."
"You never asked."
"Well I'm asking now. Have you even talked to anyone about this?"
"Not yet. First, I want to pursue every avenue I can on my own. The fewer people who know about my magic, the better, you included. Any information I reveal is information that can be used against me."
"I guess it's easy not to care what people think when you have no faith in them. What about me? Have I not earned your trust? I promise I won't tell anyone."
"It's not about faith or trust; it's a matter of probability. You may have no intention of betraying me at the moment, but ten years from now, maybe you're captured and tortured for information, and they use mind control magic or a truth potion to get you to spill my secrets. Maybe twenty years from now, I end up doing something that makes you so angry that you want my head on a pike, and you use what you know about me to hunt me down and exact your revenge. Or maybe a week from now, I find out you can't hold your liquor, and you end up blabbing. As long as I don't tell you, I don't have to worry about those things happening."
"So all this time, you've been waiting for me to betray you?"
"Don't take it personally. I wait for everyone to betray me. I don't expect people to literally stab me in the back when I meet them, but that liquor thing comes from experience. The better I know you, the more I tell you. Isn't that how all friendships work? Besides, people who make promises and blanket statements underestimate the power of the future. They don't realize how the smallest things can have the biggest influences in their lives. They underestimate how much their feelings and beliefs can change over time."
"Well I'm curious, so at least let me see you disappear."
"There is literally nothing to see."
"Don't play semantics. I already know you can disappear, so you might as well tell me some things about that."
He exhaled through his nose and closed his book. "Fair enough." Alexis watched him brush the hair out of his eyes, and the next instant, he was gone. She automatically jumped to her feet, compelled by primal instincts, as though fearing the phenomenon was contagious and that she'd get pulled into oblivion.
"Noah?" she asked nervously.
"Yeah, I'm still here, sitting at my desk."
She stared at the empty space, looking for any kind of sign of his presence. "That is incredible. How... what's it like?"
"Let's talk outside. Just pretend you're alone, and I'll follow you."
"Uh... ok." She nervously approached the door, never taking her eyes off the seemingly empty chair. She put her hand on the doorknob but didn't turn it, still searching for any sign of movement.
"Any day now," Noah said behind her, once more making her jump in shock. By some miracle, she stopped the frightful yelp shooting up her throat.
"Don't do that!"
"Well open the damn door already. Let's go."
She steadied her breathing and opened the door, and after stepping into the hall, it closed on its own behind her.
"Noah?"
"Yes, I'm still here. Come on, you were worried about me missing lunch, remember?"
She walked through the corridor with instinct itching in the back of her head like a bug bite. She wanted to spin her head around and scan everything to search for Noah, but she maintained her composure. She went down the stairs, and even then, heard no other footsteps but her own. Not a single board creaked, and she couldn't help but wonder if Noah was still walking with her.
As she walked, she passed by other cadets, and the looks they gave her were complicated. She had no intention of serving any faction and cared not for noble society. In the months since enrollment, she had bested all those around her and become one of the top cadets. To the upper nobles, she was an unusable asset that only made them look bad, and to the rest of the cadets, she was a talented rich girl they could never touch, with a serious personality that many found off-putting. She and Noah fit into the same social circle, though that association had further lowered her social standing, as well as created plenty of rumors. She didn't mind the rumors, as they helped keep her sexuality a secret.
It was when she stepped outside, and they were once more alone, that she dared speak. "Do you do this all the time? Just disappear with your magic so that people can't even see you in the halls?"
He reappeared beside her. "You disapprove?"
They began walking across the campus in the brisk autumn air. "It's just... kind of sad. I know you don't care what people think about you, but you really put this kind of effort into avoiding everyone?"
"I didn't come to this academy to make friends. I came here for answers."
"I guess this really is just a means to an end. When our time here is over, you aren't going to join the knighthood, are you? You're just going to slip away once you get what you want."
"I need information, and I want to experience everything this world has to offer, neither of which I can do as a pawn for Uther. You said before that you wished to forge your own destiny. You can either do that by taking orders and fighting a never-ending war over land, or coming with me to see what lies over the horizon."
Alexis stopped walking, and Noah turned and looked back. "You're serious?"
"I am. Come with me. Be a free agent. It's rare for me to find someone I can rely on and fight side-by-side with."
She opened her mouth several times, but nothing came out. Finally, she spoke. "I can't. I can't be the person you want me to be."
"Then just be you. I wouldn't be your friend if you were anything else." He turned away before he could see her smile. "Come on, I'm starving."
She caught up to him, and they resumed walking. "So what does it feel like when you disappear?"
"I become invisible, not disappear. My mana wraps around me and hides me perfectly, even my footprints. I have yet to encounter anyone able to detect my presence, even gold-ranked knights. I can still move and do everything as usual, so it's great for a fight, but I prefer not to use it unless I'm planning to kill my enemy. I don't want them running off and revealing my abilities to others. The problem is that I have yet to find any leads on what this magic is. I can't even find the runes."
"Huh, that is strange. No wonder you're so focused on finding answers."
They arrived at the mess hall, bustling with cadets. With the advent of dueling, the room's far wall had been turned into a scoreboard. All the cadets' names were listed with tallies marking wins and losses. Under Noah's name, rather than simply leaving his score blank, 'COWARD' had been written. The rules were also laid out so that incidents like Seraph crushing Alexis wouldn't happen again. The proxy clause hadn't been added, but Seraph was forbidden from challenging Noah again. On the other hand, everyone else could.
"Cadet Noah, I challenge you to a duel!" Lunch was potato soup, but an annoying fly had decided to land in it.
"Are you serious?" Noah asked.
"You heard me, and you can't have your servant girl stand up for you this time." Brown hair with a scar on his face; Henryk Schtern was one of Galvin and Seraph's friends.
