For those who follow my work more closely, this story is strictly non-canon, just because Alrek's never actually been to the Wild Continent in-canon. For those who don't, no worriesâthis story is pretty self-explanatory.
*****
"
You're just getting so silly, aren't you? So silly and sleepy. Such a sweet boy...
"
"Would you stop that?" Alrek scowled down at the large champagne bottle strapped to his belt. It was glowing a pale pink, and the lights spiraling insideâand the contorting, writhing bodyâwere almost hypnotic.
"
You never want me to stop,"
a resonant voice inside whispered. "
You wanna be a good, silly, hornyâYEEK!"
Well, not almost. He gave the bottle a little shake, causing the wicked bubble sprite to go bouncing around, bonking off of the sides. She glared at him through the thick, hypnosis-dampening glass.
"I said, stop it," Alrek snapped.
"Fuck you!"
"We could've been getting along a lot better this whole journey if you talked like that from the get-go."
She pouted. "Well, can you blame me for trying?"
Alrek chewed his inner cheek. "Considering you're being sent to this 'Verdant Ward' place because you kept trying to brainwash people... yeah, I think so. That'd make sense, right?"
She stuck her tongue out at him. She was a tiny thing, barely larger than an average fairyâhence the 'celebration-sized' champagne bottle. She was slender and pale, with a mane of bright wavy red hair done up in a massive topknot. Tall, tooâmaybe eight inches. Her eyes smoldered a deep purple thanks to the red glass and the pink glow. They were naturally blue, Alrek was pretty sure, and just a bit too large to be proportional. Sparkles hung around her in the bottle, like moths around a lamp.
Alrek couldn't wait to be done with this quest. Not that he had any problem with the Wild Continent in general, but every fey he met seemed to expect him to know the customs, and he did not speak even a smattering of the local tongues. Every fey he met also seemed to expect him to fuck them, and though they weren't usually inclined to push the issue, the social anxiety this inflicted was only slightly preferable to the risk of being brainwashed.
"You can be as pissed as you like," he said, patting the bottle and continuing through the bamboo forest. "But brainwash a barmaid, you go to the Ward. Seems like a simple, uh, cause-and-effect to me."
"Fuck off. If I weren't in this bottle, I'd be brainwashing the shit out of you."
Alrek snorted. "You're, what, two inches tall?"
"I'm eight and a half inches!" she snarled, incensed. "And you wouldn't be laughing if I were able to cover you in sparkles... spiraling, sparkling, catching your eyes... ooh, sinking... sinking..."
Alrek rolled his eyes. "You're hypnotizing yourself off the reflections in the glass again.
There was a pause.
"I knew that."
~ ~ ~ ~
"Is this really the place?" Alrek wasn't asking Verre, of course. Just thinking aloud as he studied the great silver gatesâcurrently open, conveniently. "I was expecting, like, a dungeon, or some kinda miserable castle."
He strode inside, keeping his eyes peeled for trouble. The Verdant Ward was apparently prison to countless mischievous fey, and though they were somewhat controlled here, he was given to understand that the main controls were the two Wardens who kept them in line. How they did so he wasn't sure.
He made his way past a few tall hazelnut trees to a small, pleasant-looking house, and knocked at the door.
He waited.
"Maybe they're not home," Verre said, sounding a bit too eager. "Maybe they're out. Better leave me by the doorstep and, um..."
"Yeah, sure." Alrek rolled his eyes. He'd been warned very firmly about his prisoner's eagerness to be left unattended. If someone wasn't aware of her tricks, and wasn't as strong-willed as Alrek happened to be, they would be easy enough to trick into staring into Verre's eyes. And she'd be free pretty damn quickly after that.
They waited in silence.
Alrek knocked again and waited.
"Huh." Verre sounded surprised." Maybe they're
not
home."
"Shut up." Alrek knocked again, louder.
After fifteen minutes of Alrek growing increasingly impatientâand Verre growing increasingly insistentâAlrek began to suspect that they weren't home.
He sat down on the steps, resting one hand on the bottle on his hip to hide Verre from view. Well, shit. He didn't like complications, but now things were getting complicated. He had a few choices.
He could wait here and hope somebody showed up. He didn't like that choice, but it was probably the safest.
He could leave. Not really an optionâhe wasn't getting paid if he didn't complete the delivery, and there was no way he was leaving a creature as dangerous as Verre unattended.
Or
he could look around for the Wardens. This wasn't a great option, but it might get him out of here faster, especially if he was careful and sneaky.
Alrek chewed his inner cheek. No. Better to wait.
~ ~ ~ ~
Alrek waited about two hours, and the sun was getting low in the sky when he stood up. "Okay, screw it."
He didn't want to be here after dark; he knew that much. All sorts of fey could sneak up on him in the dark, and the Ward held all sorts of fey who would. He'd heard they even had a particularly weak umbra hag in custody nowadays, and as far as he knew, most of the 'prisoners' were essentially free range. Alrek looked around, squinting against the dim light.
There was a cottage atop a hill he'd noticed earlier. Maybe, despite appearances,
that
was where the Wardens lived.
He started walking, ignoring the tune Verre had begun to hum.
~ ~ ~ ~
Alrek was already on his guard when he saw a pretty blonde sitting next to the cottage door, playing with three elaborately-carved tops. She stared at the tops, seemingly spellbound. When she looked up at him, and her face split into a wide grin, and he noticed the deep gold of her eyesâand the gossamer wings just barely visible fluttering behind her backâhe took a step back.
Thriae. Honey fey. Sometimes referred to as 'meadbrewers'. Even in the Wild East, the Thriae were a rapacious, fearsome species of conquerorsâand they didn't conquer through bloodshed. They were known as brilliant, cunning, manipulative, arrogant...
"Hi!" she said excitedly, eyes still slightly out of focus. She rose to her feet, swaying slightly. "S-So good to see you again, um... Master."
"Ooh, look," Verre cooed. "Those tops have spirals on 'em. I bet she's been hypnotizing herself. What a good girl!"
"Uh-huh!" Sylvia blinked, then nodded rapidly. "Yes, Mistress. Sylvia has been good. Sylvia loves it here. Mm..."
"Are they all like this?" Alrek muttered. "Or is this just a her thing?"
Sylvia giggled. "
Ummm
... uh-huh!"