The
Excalibur
soared through tier three of the Space Opera Field at several times the speed of light - but, even at such impossible speeds, the vast gulf between the SOL system and her nearest neighbor of Alpha Centuri was not something that could be simply blinked away. It was theoretically possible to get there nearly instantly, if one was willing to dive deeper and deeper and deeper into the SOF, where ideas and concepts became more broken down by the curious properties of the otherworldly universe that existed beneath realspace. The only problem was the further into the SOF one got, the less reliable and predictable technology, then biology, then physics itself got.
So, yes, it was
possible
to reach Alpha Centauri in a second of flight in the depths of the tenth or eleventh tier of the SOF. But no one aboard the ship would survive that second - neurons would fire improperly, digestive acids would eat more fiercely than was possible, gravity would do what it would, and even the most dependable of technologies like doors or floors would become prone to radical malfunctions that broke the bounds of possibility.
Thus, the
Excalibur
remained in what one might call the shallows of the SOF, and the crew did as crew had done across countless billions of starships over untold millennia of galactic civilizations: They maintained machines. They practiced on simulators. They discussed gossip. And, in the case of Captain John Tangent, they dealt with the consequences of having an alien take up resident inside of his brain as a symbiotic telepathic passenger.
"From our scans, the esper abilities that Pixie is capable of utilizing are coming from your own underdeveloped Xavier-Eisenhart psi nodules in your prefrontal cortex," Dr. Darling said, turning to face John as he buttoned up his uniform after the exams were done. "As you know, human esper abilities only emerged with exposure to the SOF in the 21
st
century - what was mistaken as a series of unusual brain cancers was, in fact, the creation of the psi nodes in the percentage of your species that had gone into interstellar space. This process propagated throughout the Earth across the 21
st
and into the 22
nd
century as your paradimensional travel experiments led to massive space mobilization and exploration."
"They covered this in the historical tapes," John said, finishing his last button, while Pixie cavorted behind Dr. Darling. The lithe alieness was, currently, holding up a pair of pink fingers behind the chrome doctor's head, giving the Omnidrone a pair of bunny ears. "But my esper talent was nill. Are my XE Nodes...engorging? Should I be worrying about headaches? Hallucinations. More than the one I already have." He smirked, slightly, as Pixie scowled at him.
"That's the remarkable thing. Your body is producing esper radiation at the level of a high category psionicist - on par with Subject K or the Mandeville Triplets - but without any signs of engorgement of your nodes."
"Not those nodes at least," Pixie said, then giggled. "Dick."
"Quite," John said.
Dr. Darling nodded. "We are beginning to work on a holoprojection psionic rig that will allow your partner to, ahem, be visible and audible to other people."
"Oooh!" Pixie brightened.
"That combined with her telekinesis might as well make her a part of the normal crew," Dr. Darling said.
"Save that I get to ride the Captain's dick without guilt," Pixies said, slipping around Dr. Darling to sit on the biobed next to John. "Isn't that right?"
"I don't know, Kat didn't seem particularly guilty," John said.
"Hmm?" Dr. Darling asked. "Ah, I presume she's said something."
"The only member of the crew that can, ahem, have intimate relations," John said.
"That's one way to say ride your shortarm like a bucking bronko!" Pixie said, giggling more as her antennas flicked up playfully. "Oh, or to suck your schlong down my eager little throat and-"
"Under the United Nations code of ethics, that's technically true. Though, there is a certain measure of wiggle room," Dr. Darling said, dryly. "The SOF has an odd effect on probability - and there has been no less than thirty five different situations in the UNN's history where a Captain had needed to have intimate relations with a member of his crew to resolve a dire situation, backed up by tribunal inquiries and scientific examination."
"Of course," John said, his voice growing drier. "I will still
endeavor
to not abuse my position as Captain."
"Of course, John," Dr. Darling said, smiling slightly.
"Now," John said, hopping off the biobed. "I have some of my duties to perform."
"And I get to help!" Pixie said, putting a pink thumb against her flat chest, her diaphanous gown fluttering only an inch or so beneath her taut rump. "Well, okay, I won't help you, like, read your crew's minds. Ethics and all that."
"Of course," John and Dr. Darling said at the same time.
"Jinx!" Pixie shouted into the amused silence.
***
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