The Gamer's Gambit

ROUND 1

Date: March 14th, 21XX

Location: Cammy's Castle

High Score: 77,783

Top High Score: 3,333,360

Loading...

Loading...

Load!ng..

The gummi sailboat arrived back at Cammy's castle past midnight. It entered the docking tunnel without a welcome. Many of the shroomans were busy repairing the damage done by Marco.

The prisoner shellies all booed at Princess Persica, but were silenced by Gamer, who ignited fire from his hands, "Don't make me do to you what I did to Marco's head."

Gamer emphasized an explosion, and made even the cranky Cammy quiet. During the boat ride, Persica explained that the flare flower's abilities would subside at some point. Gamer equated this to caffeine. That put its duration at five or six hours if he avoided substantial damage.

When the group arrived topside, the shroomans were overjoyed. They greeted the group and were amazed by the return of Princess Persica. They happily jumped and cheered, made Gamer practically deaf, and alerted the whole castle. They showered their princess with affection and collected coins. Persica graciously accepted everything.

The shroomans zipped away to spread the news of the princess's return. Persica faced Gamer and Minnie, "Come find me in the morn. We will discuss our plan of approach against Lord Shellie."

Minnie saluted, and Gamer just shrugged. The shroomans rushed to the top floor to make Persica's room. The floor below Cammy's bedroom was the guest quarters. Gamer offered the princess Cammy's room, but she declined. She wouldn't mind mingling with her people while occupying this castle. Gamer and Minnie retired to their room, which remained unscathed after Marco's assault.

"How's your hand?" Minnie asked as she hopped on the bed.

Gamer bent the fingers of the hand he used to punch Marco's iron armor suit, "Big ouchie, no likie. I can still bend them, but I'm sure the knuckles are cracked or broken."

"Marco used medicine sometimes as a weapon. I wonder if there's something you can eat that can help you," Minnie removed her top to let her breasts hang free. Her nipples were puffy and attractive.

"Maybe milk..." Gamer gave Minnie a promiscuous lookover. He moved in and cupped a breast in hand. He brought her nipple to his lips and fiddled with it. Once it poked out like a turtle's head, Gamer went to town. Minnie let out short breaths as they laid onto the bed.

Though Gamer and Minnie wished for some sweet nectar after dealing with a murderous psychopath, their bodies didn't allow it. Gamer fell asleep while suckling on Minnie, and she too soon thereafter.

The next morning, Gamer woke up with pressure leaning against him. Minnie still cuddled up to him through the night. Her face smooshed into his neck, her tits pressed into his side and arm, and a leg wrapped over his hips. Gamer's joystick liked the closeness, but his wrist twitched under her weight, and he realized she laid right on his broken hand.

"Dah! My hand!" he panicked

Minnie rolled away, groggy and confused. She fell off the bed and face planted the floor, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?"

Minnie crawled up on the bed and found Gamer moving his broken hand much more easily. He was generally shocked, "There's...no pain. It's healed."

Gamer tested the fist by knocking against the wall. His knuckles were fully restored. The fright was for naught. Minnie expressed excitement, "I wonder if I healed it by laying on it!"

"Is that something shellies can do?"

"Not that I know of," Minnie admitted innocently. "But you have mentioned how your penis feels good after I've sat on it. It must be the same thing."

"I...don't think that's the same, but I can't really argue against it."

"Let's test it out," Minnie reeled back a fist and took aim at Gamer's groin.

"Woah, woah, woah!" Gamer sounded like a bandicoot. He held Minnie back to prevent the unrefined flagellation, "Let's just wait until I get hurt again, and we'll experiment then. Okay?"

"Oh, sure!" Minnie's smile shined like the sun. Gamer sighed and got out of bed. His body no longer exhibited the effects of the flare flower. However, as he stood, a flare flower laid flat on the sheets. Gamer picked it up.

"Did I shit this out?" Gamer was confused.

"Maybe you get it back if it isn't knocked out of you," Minnie hypothesised.

"I guess so," Gamer stared at the power up. That did make the most sense. Gamer took the windfall and placed the flower into his inventory for a later date.

The two dressed and left the bedroom. On the way down to the lower floors, Minnie said, "I'm going to go sunbathe."

"Sunbathe?"

"We shellie love the sun, and it helps keep us healthy. We have to do it once a week," Minnie explained. "I think now's a good time, since Princess Persica isn't too fond of me yet."

Gamer was curious about why she and the other shellies were borderline sun burnt all the time. He remembered that turtles and other lizards basked in the sun, too. It all made sense. They split ways once they hit the ground floor.

Gamer asked a couple of shroomans where the princess was. They directed him to the grand hall, which was near the foyer. He b-lined his way there. Most shroomans worked on the repairs for the castle. More help from locals came in overnight. They were dinosaur-looking creatures, and came in a rainbow of colors. Some shroomans rode them like mounts, and the dinosaurs could leap pretty high. Gamer didn't pay too much attention; he was more focused on his primary goal.

"Good morning!" shrieked a shrooman.

"Morning," Gamer mumbled.

"Good morning!" a shrooman pierced the noise of reparations.

"Morning."

"Good morning," a bull man lifted a large chunk of stone by himself.

"Morning."

"Super good morning, Gamer!" the lead shrooman greeted in front of the grand hall doors. He rode a red dinosaur by standing on it, being so small. The dinosaur and its brethren were around six feet tall.

"Morning, what are these things?" Gamer asked, as the dinosaur sniffed his scent.

"They're known as yosaurus. Friendly fellows from the Yosaurus Islands south of here. They are quite dependable allies," the lead shrooman pat the dinosaur's back spines.

The yosaurus let out a cry, which echoed when its kind repeated the cry throughout the foyer. Gamer took note of their behavior as the worked. They used long tongues to grab things, pocket them in their plump, elastic cheeks, and then burp them out like a trash compactor. What was with everything in this land using their mouths to interact? Their tongues looked...fun. Gamer greeted them in the universal introduction, "Blowjob?"

The yosaurus tilted its head, like a horse-sized dog. Without consent, which was key, Gamer shrugged, "A'ight, that's a no."

"If you need somebody to blow air for you..." the oblivious lead shrooman began.

"Is the princess in the grand hall?" Gamer interjected.

"She is! She's been super waiting for you. Head on in!"

Gamer entered the grand hall. It was a huge open space with long, running tables that created rows up and down the room. Stained glass windows embellished the walls, and beautiful, gold chandeliers hung from the ceiling. Princess Persica hovered near the end of one table. She wore a see-through pink shawl and a see-through tiered skirt. Underneath it all was a green and white triangle bikini. She went with no shoes and dirty feet. Papers and books were spread across the table, and she appeared to be meddling through them.

"Yo!" Gamer held up a hand. His voice reverberated in the rather empty room.

"Good morning, Gamer. Did the stars grant you soothing dreams?" Persica asked as he stepped next to her. The princess reeked of cannabis, and her eyes were lax, "The moon's power last night was quite refreshing."

"Sure -- what's this?" Gamer skipped the unimportant dialogue.

"A map of Chanterelle," Persica used a finger to point at their location. Cammy's castle sat next to a large lake with a bunch of plains and hills surrounding both. Nothing was labeled on the map, even where small huts and buildings denoted villages or towns. The land itself consisted of one central country, or continent, with many islands surrounding it. The biomes seemed very...video gamey. Ice biomes in the north, desert in the east, tropical islands with marked temples and castles. What stood out like a sore thumb was the giant ass volcanic mountain to the west. Atop the mountain was drawn a figurehead of a dragon. Lava poured from its mouth onto a massive fortress. Persica slid her pointer from their location, just a foot away, to the volcanic fortress, "This is where Lord Shellie resides."

"Of course," Gamer should've known. Lava and evil went together like butter on toast.

"Lord Shellie's fortress is surrounded by winding tunnels and pools of magma. He finds his zen in lava baths," Persica explained.

After what Minnie just said about sunbathing, it didn't surprise him that Lord Shellie would take it a step further. It spoke to his character, at least. Go big or go home. Gamer respected that.

"Where is your castle?" Gamer began seeking out a mushroom shaped abode.

"Eradicated by Lord Shellie when he took over. It used to be here..." Persica pecked the center of the country. A barren island in the center of a large lake is what she designated, "It disappeared off the map when he trampled it."

"The maps reflect changes in the land?"

"If they are significant enough. The fall of the royal palace is perhaps the darkest stain on my rule..." Persica appeared perturbed. Gamer suspected the map changed because the game is designed to help players. It was strange to see real-time effects in first person.

Persica pointed at the areas between Cammy's castle and Lord Shellie's fortress, "We have plains that lead into a large forest. The forest is home to wild beasts and dangerous poisons. Plants there can make you hallucinate, and the ground will open up from beneath you thanks to Mollies."

"Mollies?" coming from Persica, Gamer imagined giant marijuana plants breaking through the crust at -- high -- speeds.

"They are subterranean people with large claws and accessories called sunglasses, since they hate the daylight. Not very talkative, but hard working," Persica explained. Moles, Gamer labeled.

"If they hate the sun, we can always go at night," Gamer sought to minimize the threats.

Persica shook her head and took a hit from a joint. Gamer hadn't even seen it; was she always equipped? Once she cleared her lungs, she said, "It's best if we don't go at night, either, as that is when the ghosts come out from their haunted, long-abandoned mansion in the center of the forest."

"Ghosts?" Gamer's skin crawled.

"Babas, as we call them."

Gamer checked the map for alternative paths. There was only one bridge of land that connected the volcano to the mainland. However, the whole thing was nearly surrounded by the ocean, "How about we take the gummi sailboat?"

"Going to the fortress with only six people would be suicide. We need a welcoming party, room for cake, luggage for nights spent at sea, my coins, my exercise tools like my hula hoop and bicycle, drugs..." Persica kept listing things out, but Gamer put a hand up to shut her up.

"We are not taking anything unnecessary," he warned her.

"Fine," Persica became saddened. "I'll leave the welcoming party..."

Gamer rolled his eyes and glanced at the rest of her collection she brought out. Aside from the map, a few parchments and the titles of the tomes made it seem like she researched certain locations. The aforementioned haunted mansion had its own tome, and a parchment showed different flora and the breakdown of their anatomy. One tome piqued Gamer's interest; the tome's title was "Foreign and Forgotten Lands."

"What's that?" he asked.

"Ah, I need to read more of it, but it is a tome my father spent time composing. Being the tyrant he was, anything that didn't have his mark on it interested him. The book contains lands outside Chanterelle," Persica patted the book.

"More information is always helpful. Let me know if anything interesting sticks out when you read it. Thanks, dad, you piece of shit," Gamer stuck a middle finger up at the tome. Persica giggled, and copied Gamer.

The doors of the grand hall flung open. The lead shrooman, along with the nervous and accountable shroomans, ran up to their princess. They bowed, which just looked like them smacking the floor with their big heads, before they said, "Princess, we have super good news! Repairs are almost finished!"

"Almost finished? That was quick work," they impressed their princess.

"We had super help from those who have heard of your return. They remember your super kindness!" the lead shrooman's excitement echoed in the grand hall like shattering ceramic. When they acted this way, Gamer just wanted to become a potato and remove his ears. The grating continued, "Who really helped was Asterion. He is by far the greatest and strongest creature we've ever seen!"

"Asterion? I am not familiar with this name," Persica searched her memory.

"Great and strong, eh? Sounds like somebody we could use against Lord Shellie," Gamer saw an opportunity.

"Marco had to die for our safety, but I would like to try and dissuade Lord Shellie," Persica said. "His people come from a terrible upbringing. Years of survival in harsh lands, betrayal, and bloodshed. Lord Shellie's heart is good, even if he has a dark soul."

"Well somebody better call the Heart Kingdom and bring that bitch some light. If he doesn't listen, we'll have to throw down. Now lemme go meet this Asterion guy and convince him violence solves violence," Gamer hopped from his chair and left the princess. He heard her ask the lead shrooman to prepare a bath. Apparently the dust from the texts made her body impure.

Once outside the grand hall, Gamer noticed that a crowd gathered in front of the entrance doors. He wandered over to see what everybody clamored to see. On the outside, the greatest and strongest thing a shrooman knew was moving back and forth in the courtyard. Gamer finally laid eyes on Asterion.

A minotaur. Muscles flexed with each punch, turn, and recoil. Controlled breaths heaved his barrelled chest. Careful strikes exemplified trained martial moves. Asterion practiced in a similar fashion to monks. He meditated in his movements, blocking out the surroundings and intrigued crowd. The sun beat down on his broad form and defined the muscles with undershadows.

Gamer's eyes lit up, "Muscles for days. I gotta me a bull man."

Asterion breathed in while he pulled his elbows in by his side. He spoke above the crowd, "I was wondering when you'd show up, Gamer."

Gamer's eyebrows and eyes raised, while his mouth shrunk to a point, "Eh?"

The crowd parted. Gamer felt like Noah, and made his way into the courtyard. The shroomans and yosauri watched with anticipation.

"You've heard of me, eh?" Gamer asked.

Asterion faced Gamer, "I know you quite well, actually."

This gave Gamer pause, but he had to ask, "Player or NPC?"

Asterion smirked, "Player."

Gamer's heart began to race. If it wasn't a NPC, that meant the minotaur form was a custom skin. He cautiously asked, "Friend or foe?"

"Foe."

Gamer nodded slowly, puckered his lips, and gradually rolled his eyes. He turned on a dime and sprinted back into the castle.

"Highly questionable response, but let's go," Asterion gave chase and barged past the crowd. Gamer grabbed one of the entrance doors midrun and swung it close. Asterion lowered his head and speared the door back open with his silver-tipped horns.

A door halfway down the foyer opened as two shroomans carried in a new corner table. Gamer dived over the table and rolled into the hallway. He spun to the side and hid behind the door frame. Asterion approached with heavy thuds, and then pardoned himself around the shroomans. Gamer sucker punched him in the gut when he entered the hall. It barely made Asterion flinch, and he glared, unamused. Gamer realized he made a big mistake.

"Hmm, nice muscles, wow. Heh heh heh...cartwheel!" Gamer sprang sideways towards a window in the hallway to make a daring escape. However, Asterion snapped a grip on Gamer's ankle and stopped him midair. Asterion flung Gamer in the opposite direction through the opposite window. Gamer and shards of glass rained into an outer corridor. A breezeway connected the grand hall with the east wing of the castle. A grassy knoll with a bunch of flowers brightened up the corridor. A number of the shroomans and yosauri were here patching up the walls and supports. Scaffolding scaled the right wall and extended up to the breezeway's roof.

"Are you okay?" a shrooman on a yosaurus checked on Gamer.

Gamer placed his hands on the yosaurus's shoulders and looked it deep in its primeval eyes, "I need you to vore me..."

The door to the grand hall opened, and Asterion stepped into the breezeway. His imposing figure scared the shroomans and yosauri aside. One yosaurus on the knoll had a Gamer-sized lump in its cheek. Asterion took a moment to eye the yosaurus, who's expression shifted to be more apologetic and nervous the longer he stared. He stepped up to the guilty yosaurus and held his hand out, "Drop it."

The yosaurus swallowed. Asterion and the shroomans all gasped. However, it started to strain, and before long, a huge ass egg popped out of its rear end. The egg was polkadotted the same color as the yosaurus.

"Is...is that normal?" Asterion asked a shrooman.

"Oh yeah, female yosaurus do that sometimes. It's their way of showing affection," the shrooman answered. The yosaurus happily cried out.

Asterion walked over to the egg and knocked on it. Inside, muffled screaming could be heard. He clenched a fist and beat the egg. It cracked, and soon after, it shattered. Gamer and a lot of egg fluid spilled out.

Gamer, drenched in slimey goop, writhed, "I've seen things!"

"You're welcome," Asterion bowed his head. He took the same fist and swung down. Gamer dodged out of the way and tried standing. He stumbled towards the scaffolding and its equipment. Asterion stomped in pursuit.

As Gamer neared a strange, yellow contraption with a platform and spring, a shrooman yelled, "Don't touch that!"

Gamer leaned on top of it before registering what they said. The spring kicked and the platform rocketed Gamer up. It catapulted him to the fourth story of the scaffolding. He was two stories from the top of the breezeway roof.

"We use that for construction! It's not a toy!" the shrooman whined.

Gamer thought he had some breathing room, but Asterion didn't feel like giving it. He set the spring back into place, and then jumped onto the platform. It did as before and launched the minotaur up towards Gamer. He landed with tremendous weight, so much so that the scaffolding buckled under him. He stabilized himself, but this gave Gamer time to worm his way to the third story of scaffolding. He started to scurry to the second floor, but Asterion observed the moment he was practically below him. He jumped and landed on both his knees. He punctured the scaffolding thanks to his weight, and split each floor in half. When he smashed into the second floor, he stopped Gamer completely from worming away. The debris from splintering wood and clanging metal pipes sent Gamer backwards near the end of the scaffolding. He hit a few hammers and a toolbox over, revealing another spring.

Asterion stepped over Gamer and grabbed him by the shoulder. When he lifted him up, Gamer pulled the spring from the corner and aimed it at the minotaur. He shoved it against Asterion, and the spring activated. It blasted Asterion with enough velocity to break through the castle wall.

"No! We just fixed that!" the shroomans cried out.

"Hah! Gotcha!" Gamer kissed the unloaded spring. He tossed it aside and glanced about for an escape route. On the third floor, a window had been smashed open by Asterion's plummet. Gamer monkeyed up to the window and entered the upper hallway of the breezeway. He started down the hall to make more distance between him and the minotaur, "Another player, eh? I figured they'd show up, but this early? At least I can handle him. Hah! He should've seen the look on his face."