Ch. 02: Medieval
I had pretty much forgotten all about this story and series idea, but a 'recent' comment in Ch. 01 got me thinking about it again, so here's Ch. 02. I'm going to add something about the DVD that gets played to the title of each chapter, so that you readers can quickly find the ones that interest you the most.
Big thanks to
pandybear311
for editing this entry.
* * *
Albert tried his best to ignore the sounds coming from the room next door. The mortgage had become too much for him to sustain on his own, so he'd rented out the other bedroom. The noises implied some pretty hardcore sex was taking place in there.
There hadn't been a lot of candidates, so in the end he'd had to choose a housemate that he wasn't particularly impressed with. His biggest pro was that he seemed to have a steady job. His biggest con was that he was undoubtedly a disturbed, perverted sleazebag. Albert had never really experienced a lot of porn, but since his housemate moved in, he was pretty much tripping over porno mags piled up in the lounge room. That was an exaggeration, but not by much.
He'd come home with the plan of getting a great deal of his thesis on artificial intelligence completed. Unfortunately, it seemed that Kieran had picked up a DVD Player and TV from somewhere and was now watching it with the volume loud enough to interrupt Albert's thoughts. Three times he'd asked Kieran to turn down the volume, but so far, no luck.
He sighed and thought back to the other people he'd interviewed for the room. Albert wondered if perhaps they might have been a better fit.
* * *
Kieran stroked his cock, coated in lube, while he watched the brunette munching out the blonde's pussy. There was nothing better than a bit of lesbian porn to get his cock hard. Well, maybe a bit of anal, or tit-fucking, or MILF action, or even, well, the simple fact was Kieran loved porn. He loved sex of pretty much any kind.
Ever since he'd been a teenager going through puberty he'd been obsessed with porn, masturbation, and trying his damnedest to get a piece of pussy, any pussy. He'd even given thoughts to pushing himself on his mother, but she'd become disgusted by him once she learned how perverted her son had become. Their relationship was now strained and distant.
The brunette was really getting into the action, swivelling her head around and pushing her tongue in deep. The blonde threw her head back and closed her eyes in ecstasy while tweaking the hard nipples atop her hefty D cup milk sacks.
Finding the DVD Player had been a stroke of luck. He'd been getting by with only his collection of magazines for a few weeks now. And for a fiend like Kieran, that was a real strain. He'd lost a lot of his stuff such as his TV, PS3, and laptop when he left his last place. There had been some trouble, but he'd managed to keep Albert from finding out about that. Besides, Albert had nothing to fear from him. But he'd lost a lot of stuff before he moved in with Albert.
He'd picked up the TV off the internet. The DVD Player had been at the bottom of a box Albert had stored in the linen closet. It was packed with a bunch of unlabelled DVDs. Kieran had been lucky to still have a compilation disc of different lesbian scenes, and had been eager to rub one out in tribute to the lovely Sapphic love.
He did suspect that at least some of the unlabelled DVDs would be porn though, and he planned to start looking through them once he dumped a load in the tissues that lay beside him.
* * *
Sir Heath advanced on the dragon, brandishing his mighty sword, swinging it in confident arcs and displaying his undoubted prowess.
The dragon reared up and inhaled, but Sir Heath was not intimidated. He brought his shield to the fore, and then rolled aside before ending in a crouch, the shield poised defensively and a large stone at his side to offer yet more protection.
The dragon exhaled a fireball aimed at where he had been only seconds before, missing him terribly.
This was his chance. He charged forward, his sword arm cocked, ready to strike. He ducked beneath the dragon's immense head and swung his sword with all of his might towards the dragon's soft underbelly.
The dragon roared in pain and launched itself into the air.
Heath had rent a shallow gash in its belly, but not deep enough to cause it any permanent harm. What he really needed was a spear, or a lance, something longer than his sword.
He watched its dwindling form disappear over the horizon, thinking that it looked a little strange, sort of too real to be real or something.
He thought of his failed attempt to take advantage of its weakness. But... it didn't have a weakness... and... there were no such things as dragons. He lived in an apartment, struggling to make enough money to live. He didn't get around in, he looked at his attire, a breastplate and chainmail, or carry around a steel sword and shield.
He hefted the sword. In fact, it wasn't even steel. It was much too light, and the shield couldn't be anything better than balsa wood. Surely chainmail would be heavier than this?
OH, SHIT!
He suddenly remembered the scene in the aerobic studio with Simone, Nikki and Jade. He'd somehow been in the scene that his DVD Player had shown. But he'd changed it. Instead of the normal workout routine with the boring guy in the back and the three foxes shimmying and shaking their substantial assets, a scene Heath had shot more than one load to, he'd actually been the boring guy and had sex with all three of them. He wished he were back there.
Or even back in his apartment, instead of wherever he was now, in some kind of fake medieval world.
Although the dragon had looked familiar, it was very similar to that movie he had starring the damsel in distress with the enormous hooters. The dragon had kidnapped her, and the knight had to rescue her. The plot was supremely boring, but the damsel was absolutely gorgeous. In fact, the dragon had been identical.
He had replaced the guy in the aerobic video, so it was probably safe to assume that he had replaced the knight in the dragon movie! This was so exciting. He looked towards the imposing castle and felt his cock start to harden.
Wait, in the movie there had been soldiers in the castle. It was never explained why the damsel was in a castle, seemingly owned by a dragon and staffed with soldiers. After all, it was a terrible movie. But the point was Heath would have soldiers to fight. How was he ever going to manage that?
* * *
Albert finally managed to get some work done. It seemed Kieran had tired of the porn, finally, and Albert was able to focus.
* * *
Kieran yawned. It was some kind of medieval movie, but not one he'd ever heard of. To be honest, it looked pretty low budget. He'd skipped a couple of scenes until he'd found a fight scene with a dragon. It looked a bit dodgy, as cheap CGI often does, but he'd stuck with it. The weird thing was that after the dragon left, the knight seemed to stare off into space for a bit, before looking around like he was confused. Finally, the knight entered the castle. Instead of charging in, he almost looked scared and was trying to sneak around.
Kieran felt his eyes start to droop.
* * *
Heath travelled down the stone passage, which was actually just plywood made to look like stone. So far he hadn't encountered a guard. He was wracking his memory, trying to recall as much as he could of the movie. He knew the knight never got a scratch on him, but would Heath himself fare the same now that he had taken over?
During the fight with the dragon, he hadn't been himself. Somehow, he'd been the knight, and the movie had stuck to the script. It seemed to change once he realised who he was and could see how fake things looked.
Suddenly a guard, dressed in plastic armour and welding a wooden mace, jumped in front of him. "Halt, Sir Longstaff! You can't be here! TO ME! TO ME!"
The guard advanced, brandishing his wooden mace. Heath wasn't sure what to do. The guard swung, and Heath lifted the shield to block it awkwardly.
A mighty clang rang out as the blow was effortlessly deflected by Sir Heath Longstaff. The guard was soon defeated by a swift slash from Heath's razor-sharp sword.
"You fiends cannot keep me from Lady Felicity!" Heath said, and then wondered why, as it hadn't really been his choice to say it.
He looked down at the defeated guard, a large bloody slash across the guard's chest which rose and fell with his breathing. In fact, all the blood appeared to be on the costume, cosmetic. It was as though each time he blinked, Heath alternatively saw an extra laying on the ground pretending to be dead, or a guard horribly mutilated and clearly dead.
He could hear running feet, more guards coming. He looked around but there were no obvious hiding spots. He considered running back the way he had come in, but he was confused and couldn't work out which passage he'd come down. In the movie, the knight had defeated all the guards, just as he had defeated the first guard. Maybe he would be able to defeat them as well?
The guards surged into the room and set about surrounding Sir Longstaff. If only Heath could be back in his dingy, filthy apartment right now.
Heath felt like closing his eyes but somehow he knew that wouldn't be a good idea.
One of the guards stepped forward and Heath flinched in fear.
Sir Longstaff caught the strike on his own blade, turned it aside and stepped forward, dropping and slamming his shoulder into the guard, who staggered back, dazed by the blow from his armoured shoulder. The remaining guards nervously sidestepped, not willing to leap in and risk a blow such as that.
They tried to coordinate. As one guard stepped forward with a mace and swung at Sir Longstaff, a guard on the other side stepped forward to thrust with his sword. Taking swift action, Sir Longstaff ducked the arc of the mace and stepped behind that guard, shoving him forward with a swat from his shield. He heard the sickening squelch as the other guard's sword skewered his mace-wielding compatriot.
The last remaining guard brandished a spear, intelligently keeping his distance from Sir Longstaff while watching for an opportunity to use his weapon's greater reach. He feinted, but Sir Longstaff did not take the bait. He merely kept his shield ready for defence. Sir Longstaff circled the guard, drawing him into a much more favourable position for Sir Longstaff, who feinted himself to provoke the guard.
