A slight tip of the hat to Clemestra :)
Thanks to Todger 65 for the edit.
Prologue: The Tale of the Gods' Soiree.
Zeus hated these soirees. Bad food, bad drinks, and the same old gods talking the same shit over and over, ad infinitum. Here, Hades gloomed over the finer points of lava rocks.
Gods, that man is dull!
There, Poseidon yapped about his gig as technical adviser to some movie about a sinking passenger ship.
Didn't tell them he was the one who put the iceberg there did he? Clumsy, absent-minded idiot.
Hera was snarking about the latest gossip while keeping a sly eye on him. She needn't worry; he was behaving himself. He just couldn't get it up these days.
Maybe I need some of that new mortal drug. What is it called? Vegetaria? Vulgaria? I better talk to Asclepius.
Zeus scanned the room. It wasn't just the Greeks; the Norse were here. "Thor's getting plastered as usual," Zeus groaned. Loki was setting up to start his stand up routine.
Worst comedian ever.
The Hindus were present. Shiva with his date Kali,
Isn't he in, what do the mortals call it? A death metal band? Ugly woman he's got with him.
He spotted a group of djinn.
Ugh! Who invited them? Well! Hello, who's this?
One djinn was different from the others. Her skin was actual flesh tone, unlike the varied pastels djinn usually sported. That's what he always hated about the djinn; always too much of one color or the other.
Zeus, goat that he was, had an eye for the ladies. This one had some looks; beautiful but not stunning.
She has some Greek or southern Italian in her.
Zeus was excellent with measurements.
36DD-28-38, very comely.
Her hair was glossy black. Her eyes, dark amber. The hair was straight, just past the shoulders. Her face impressed Zeus the most. It was a beautiful face, just not the face of a goddess; more a peasant girl's face or, in the modern vernacular, the girl next door. Zeus pondered whether to make a move but he had to be careful; Hera still had her issues.
First, he needed information. He sought out Pan, the party organizer, who had the guest list.
"Who's the new girl?"
Pan looked, "Oh? That's their new djinn slut. Don't exactly know her name. Try the Fates."
Zeus cocked an eyebrow. Djinn sluts usually started as mortal. They weren't quite like the djinnya, pure female djinn. A very rare honor for the woman, depending on perspective. The Fates should have her thread; they owed him a favor.
Her thread was golden and unbreakable, indicative of her new status as an immortal. Zeus took a scrying glass and scanned the thread.
Hmmm, interesting story.
****
Marissa O'Connor sat on the bed looking at it.
I can't believe Larry bought this. It looks like something out of
I Dream of Jeannie
.
Certainly the lamp was no work of art. Larry bought it at a garage sale, "To celebrate our one year anniversary."
One year since we moved in together. I'd hate to think what would happen if we got married.
Larry wasn't all bad. He was good in bed and fun in a goofy way . . . when he was sober . . . and not making crude sex jokes. His looks were handsome and blonde; a touch of Abercrombie and Fitch with a fratboy brashness that got a little grating at times.
Larry's other problem was a disturbing possessiveness, bordering on jealousy. Still,
He has money. I just wish he bought something better than this . . . jar.
The toilet flushed; Larry came out of the bathroom. Marissa wrinkled her nose, beer and grass. Larry was stewed. She didn't like him this way.
"Larry, I don't like it."
"What? The lamp? I got it cheap. I thought it was cute."
Larry climbed into bed. Marissa saw the bulge in his boxer briefs. She felt a headache coming on.
"Larry, I want you to get rid of it," she pouted.
"Aw come on Em, it's just a lamp."
"It's ugly and it gives me the creeps."
"You can be so paranoid, Em." Larry put his hand under her T-shirt and groped for her breast. Marissa pushed him away. "You're drunk."
"And you're a prig, Em it's only a lamp." Larry grabbed it. "What's the matter? You think a genie's going to pop out? Look," he rubbed, "See? No genie."
Looking back, Marissa would marvel at the following event's banality. No "whoosh" accompanied by a flash and smoke. No "pop!" Or dramatic appearance. It was just the two of them one moment and the genie (or djinn as Marissa was later to learn) the next.
"Whoa! Man! Holy shit!" exclaimed Larry.
Marissa gasped and leapt out of bed. Her first impulse was to head for the door and out of the apartment but modesty (she only had on a T-shirt and panties), skepticism (a voice in the back of her head cried, "Practical joke! Things like this just
do not happen!
") and curiosity (
Is this man real?
), kept her rooted.
The djinn was handsome, beautiful even; Greek statue beautiful. If not for the light blue skin, pointed ears, fanged teeth, near total absence of body hair (except for a dark blue goatee), and pupil-less eyes, he could almost pass for human. The djinn was also naked . . . and had a dick that made Larry look like a eunuch. Marissa blushed.
The djinn stood at the side of the bed, arms crossed, staring bemusedly at the couple. "Like what you see?" he asked with a lightly accented mellifluence. "So, what is your wish o'master?"
"Guh! Guh!" guhed Larry.
"Guh guh? Is that some new mortal language? Make a wish. I haven't got all millennium."
"Whoa man! That was some bud!"
"Larry, this is not a hash dream. That's a real genie."
"Perceptive; very comely too. Let's see 33C-24-34, Italian / Irish mix, girl next door face on a playmate's body."
"Huh?" thought Marissa.
Seeing her questioning look, the djinn said, "I've not been away from this plane that long and I appreciate a woman's finer points. Now, back to the wish."
"Hot damn! I get three wishes!" Larry shouted.
"Well not . . ." the djinn started to say.
"I can't think," Larry interrupted. "What the fuck do I wish for? Girls? Money? Drugs? Sex . . .?"
Marissa was smart and well read. She knew enough stories about the dangers of genies' wishes. Larry however . . .
"Larry stop!"
"Geez Em, what now?"
"Larry, this is a genie. I know the stories. There's always a catch; a bad one."
"She's giving good advice, Larry," the djinn smiled with a cocked eyebrow and an insincerity Marissa could smell like Larry's bud. "My advice is to listen to it."
"Aw for fuck's sake!" Larry exploded. "A fucking genie and my own girlfriend are telling me what to say! Well news for you dickfuck! I rubbed the lamp, so you do what I tell you, and you!" Larry pointed to Marissa, "I'm sick of your whining, and you never put out either."
Marissa frowned. She lost count how many times she and Larry did it. "Larry . . ." she started.
"Hey genie," Larry said, "Make her a slut."
"Larry?!!"
The djinn smiled, his grin, the very definition of wicked, fanged teeth gleaming white against his blue skin. "Is that your wish o'master?"
"Yeah, why not?" Larry smirked.
The djinn looked at Marissa, cocked an eyebrow, smiled, and gave an almost apologetic shrug.
"Larry!" Marissa cried. The next instant, she was sitting on a bed of cushions, arms above her head, hands tied to an elaborately carved pillar, with red silk ribbons. Overall, a very elaborate set up.
"Whoa!" Larry said. "Nice digs!"
The "digs" was a large, sumptuous room out of classic Arabian folklore: gleaming white walls etched with Arabic calligraphy; a polished black and white marble floor; exotic plants and flowers of every kind, set in giant vases made of solid gold; giant silver cages swinging from a ceiling filled with exotic birds; and pots of smoking incense set on tripods.
In the midst of this luxury: a blue genie, a fratboy in boxer briefs, and a pretty, young woman in Victoria's Secret Pink panties and a white T-shirt.
"Larry you bastard!" the very pissed off Marissa shouted. She squirmed in anger and a frantic attempt to free herself.
"Ha!" a smirking Larry laughed. He started to tug down his boxer briefs and stepped towards Marissa. Suddenly, the djinn popped right in front of him, arms crossed, eyebrow cocked, and wearing a smirk of his own.
"And just where do you think you're going?" he sneered.
"Hey! What the fuck you doing?! You're my bitch! Get the fuck out of the way or I'll put you in the jar!"
Less than a split second later, Larry was swinging from the ceiling, in a bird cage. The djinn floated on the other side, smirking.