12. Branding
Everyone stared at me as if I had grown wings and started to fly around the room. Which really shouldn't be an expression I used anymore, considering I could actually do that. It took several seconds for anyone to acknowledge what I had said.
The first person to react was actually Evgenia herself. She robotically stood from her chair, slightly bowed in my general direction, and said, "I'll collect my belongings."
Cynthia's gaze shifted from confusion through an expression of understanding and then to expectancy. She viewed me as a parent would view a teenager who had just knocked over their glass at dinner; an exhausted, mildly disappointed, 'you need to clean up after yourself, now' sigh escaped her lips. Beth and Sam stood frozen behind me, completely captivated by the spell of the train wreck I was conducting.
"Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait, Ev, that's not what I meant. Please, sit back down for just a moment. I want to talk to you. Give me a chance to explain, please."
She had only taken two steps from the table but stopped retreating when I spoke. Her eyes lingered on my face for several stressful heartbeats, and then she glanced at Sam and Beth. When she returned to the table and sat back down, I released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. Sam, Beth, and I joined the two already at the table, and again, all eyes were focused on me, awaiting my inevitably fumbled attempt to clarify what I meant.
I opened my mouth to speak, but I closed it when no words came to mind. I considered how I wanted to clarify what I was doing and what I wanted to happen. Several times, I had already made a mess of things with Ev by jumping with my instincts first and speaking without thinking. I wanted to avoid that if I could here. Thankfully, everyone had the patience to allow me to find my thoughts.
"What did you mean by 'getting your things'? What do you think I was doing?" I asked. I needed to understand Evgenia's position in order to explain where I was.
"I was gathering my possessions here in order to leave since you had just dismissed me," Ev responded. Then she frowned, continuing, "I haven't been fired twice in one week before. I'm not sure I've been fired before this week, actually."
Ah. What a mess.
"I wasn't trying to fire you. I suppose I should've maybe explained a bit before doing that. Alright, just, give me a minute to find where I want to start."
The silence of the room was deafening, and the weight of the expectations, mostly from myself, was overwhelming. I meandered through my mind until I found the thread I wanted to follow.
"So, uh, Sam and I are a thing, now? You probably figured that out. Beth is onboard and was very encouraging about it."
Cynthia opened her mouth to ask a question, but I continued speaking.
"I promise it's relevant. Sam came to our room last night upset and confused about how I was treating her, which, completely fair. The pertinent part is that she mentioned I hadn't accepted her Fae Book friend request. That was because I didn't know what Fae Book was or that she had sent me a request. I rectified that this morning.
"On there, in addition to all of your lovely requests, I had another two thousand messages. Someone must have concluded that I was actually a dragon because messages from about mid-Thursday on were very direct and personal. I was pretty grossed out by a whole lot of the requests I was getting. Literally being solicited for sex and body fluids and several bids for body parts. Eugh.
"Anyway, I had almost completely cleaned out my backlog of messages when I opened a very vague message trying to invite me to an exclusive club. A club for 'labor connections.' They sell people. That's pretty gross, but they have a whole website, and they have pictures and a list of attributes with each mugshot, and it's so dehumanizing and disgusting.
"The part that really affected me was when I realized I wasn't actually different from them. Of course, a lawyer could probably make an argument highlighting differences between us, and even I'll admit that there are some pretty obvious ones. But, as of right now, the lawyer could be here against her will. She has no choice in the matter. If I tell her to do something, she has to do it. She was already my slave. I hate that it took me this long to see that. I'm not really happy with what it says about me as a person.
"So, Ev, I'm not trying to fire you here. I haven't precisely used your talents to the maximum, but I have no doubt that I will actually need you, or someone like you, to assist me in the near future. Especially considering all of those business opportunities I just declined through private messages. I just couldn't stomach the idea that I was holding you here while you had absolutely no say in the matter.
"I want your help if you have any interest in offering it, but I don't want it like I had it."
The room sat in silence again once I had concluded. Until Beth giggled and whispered, "'Couldn't stomach it.' That's the truth." With the air cleared and the atmosphere changed, I realized I hadn't actually asked for anything specific. It wasn't really fair to leave it up in the air. I needed to provide some direction to what I was asking for.
"I think that, given the circumstances of denying something around 1500 requests in one sitting, I am very shortly going to be inundated with people trying again. There's going to be a lot of work to be done soon, and a lot of work that needs to be done that I probably won't know to do. I would appreciate your assistance, if you're not disgusted by me.
"I was hoping that you could write a new contract for yourself, but one that acknowledges you as a person. You know, with compensation for your services, stipulations for time off, and perhaps some kind of incentive structure where you take a percentage of contracts you negotiate. I don't know -- I'm just a dumb kid. This is your home field, and you'll be able to do it better than I can. I know I just dropped it on you, so, don't feel like you need to do this today. But, I couldn't have you do this while under the weight of the other one; it wouldn't be fair. I figured if I released you and then had you decide what would be fair, it would have a better chance to be. It's not like you're going to take advantage of yourself."
Over the past week, I had started learning how to interpret Cynthia's facial reactions during our communal discussions over dinner and conversations in the living room. She was, for a consummate and dedicated professional, surprisingly candid in displaying how she felt. As I said the final line of my request, her eyes snapped to me in desperation and objection. At the same time, the anxiety and pressure Evgenia was feeling spread throughout the room and filled my senses. Somehow, I was making things worse. Still, no one else verbally responded, so I trudged on, attempting to smooth over my impulsiveness.