The Divine Gambit Ch 06

6. An Arcane Explanation

I awoke to Beth rolling over in the bed, snuggling herself deeper into my embrace. The city was already awake outside, and I could hear everyone beginning their work week. For a fleeting moment, I almost missed having to get up to go to class. The certainty and predictability of the monotony was reassuring and comforting. The whirlwind overhaul of my life over the past few days had left me exhausted and feeling completely out of control.

Still, I was lying in a comfortable bed, in an incredible apartment, with a girl who loved me in my arms. All was not bad. The morning light entering the room illuminated her face, her short hair an auburn crown adorning her head. I was surprised to see that her skin looked markedly clearer. I was partially surprised that I had noticed at all but also bewildered at the development from the previous morning. Even last night she hadn't looked as good. Obviously, she was young, but she hadn't had a particularly lavish upbringing, and yesterday her body showed it.

Today I could see improvements. Beth's skin was less pocked and marked, and one of her moles had shrunk significantly. Her nose, which had already been cute in my eyes, no longer had a blatant bend, now just a minor notch where she had broken it. Most astoundingly, she seemed to be fuller. She was still dainty and petite, but she no longer appeared to be on the verge of shattering from slight contact. Her breasts were slightly plumper, her ribs were slightly less obviously showing, and I couldn't feel her spine quite as sharply as I rubbed her back. It was as if overnight years of malnutrition and barely surviving had started to be undone. She wasn't a pitiful waif; she was now simply my loving diminutive firebrand pixie.

It was the start of a wondrous transformation, but I decided to withhold my observations from her for now. I was interested in her reaction if I waited a week to reveal the changes to her. She had made it painfully evident that, while she certainly wasn't ashamed of her body, she hadn't been proud of it before. I felt satisfied that I could give my mate something she could be proud of.

I must've returned to my human form at some point during the night because I was only holding Beth with my arms. I was in no rush to get started with the day, actually feeling somewhat anxious about interacting with Sam, so I simply laid in the bed and enjoyed the experience of Beth softly sleeping against me, the gentle rise and fall of her chest a timekeeper to balance the chaos of the outside world. The situation felt fitting and restful, and yet incomplete. I was initially confident that I would never tire of waking up with this woman in my arms, but someone began suggesting otherwise.

The beast in my mind, still lethargic and sated from last night's activities, lazily suggested that the unfulfillment came from only having one of our mates with us. There were others very close that should be here with us. Beth was an excellent prime, but as a walking God, anyone we considered should be honored. I felt uncomfortable with the idea, unused to his immeasurable confidence and decidedly doubting that anyone would tolerate sharing me with another. He insisted that the truth would come before my eyes sooner than I would think, while returning to a lazy slumber.

My meandering thoughts and inner conflict once again roused Beth. She yawned and sluggishly opened her eyes, their sparkling green irises looking exceptionally bright in the morning light when they eventually located my face. I felt a rush of emotion come into focus over our connection, and I was overwhelmed by her adoration. I kissed her forehead, and the tide of her sympathies swelled even further, threatening to wash me away in an all-encompassing flood of affection.

Beth said softly, "I am so happy I met you."

"I'm grateful that you feel that way. It wouldn't be unreasonable for you to feel like a captive here."

She lightly swatted my arm and spoke quietly but firmly, "Stop kicking yourself down. It's too early for that shit. We need to get up and convince Sam that she should get over her fears and take you, and you can't do that while doubting yourself. Be the James that Sam sees."

I slid off the bed, still cradling Beth in my arms, and she giggled as I set her on her feet. I stood up and found the sweatpants Cynthia had acquired for me yesterday, as they were the only pants that would fit now, even if 'fit' was tenuous. "I'm still unsure why you're insistent that this is what you want. I believe you; I know you want this, but I don't understand why."

Beth grabbed my new sweatshirt from yesterday and wore it like a dress, although it almost slid off to one side or the other as it dwarfed her petite frame. While gathering her clothes from around the room, she answered, "I like Sam. I like Cynthia. I want them in our life. Sam being here hurts her right now. Being sent away without the chance to try would hurt her, too, probably more."

Over our connection, I found a wealth of nuance that aided my comprehension of what she was saying, and it all made sense to me. Beth yearned for a real family she could trust unconditionally and relax around. In Sam, she had found an older sister who could guide her and lead her into this new world. In me, Beth found an older brother who would protect her from anything threatening her and care for her undyingly. In Cynthia, she had found a mother who would nurture her and let her learn to be an adult at her own pace.

Beth was terrified that Sam's discontentment at being so close but unable to have me would eventually lead to the shattering of her newfound family. It could cause a rift to form, permanently separating Cynthia and Sam from Beth and me. She was desperately clinging to the idea that if Sam and I were romantically involved, then the bindings of our unique family would be unseverable.

I remained unconvinced that this wouldn't simply explode in our faces, but I wasn't sure that there was a clean way to resolve the situation. Sam had built me up in her mind to the stature of a deity. She had placed this idea of me on a pedestal and worshiped it in her mind when she couldn't have me, and then in the years we had separated, compared everyone she interacted with against that fictional idea. When they came up short, her perception of me only increased. I hoped I could live up to a tenth of what she thought of me.

Beth lightly tapped my arm and drew me out of my thoughts, "Stop doubting yourself and stop worrying about things you have no control over. You're a dragon, James. Start acting like it. You know, city-destroying, all-powerful monster? Did Smaug have these insecurities?"

She skipped to the door, then looked back and said, "There were some girly clothes in one of the rooms in sizes for me. I'm grabbing them, and then you're going to wash my hair in the shower again. Ten minutes. Don't be late."

I laughed softly to myself at her peppiness. Despite the conspicuous trauma she had experienced in her past, she still put on a brave face and was here, trying to make the best of it. She wasn't wrong; I had stumbled upon something that gave me significant influence. I should try to use it to improve things as much as I can. The beast in my mind suggested that we start with making life great for ourselves before worrying about others. I chided the beast by pointing out that everything was already pretty great, at least as far as unplanned relocations and world-altering revelations could be.

I slowly made my way to the bathroom and turned the water on to allow it to warm up. When I climbed in a moment later, Beth had just entered the room and was setting her clothes on the floor and stripping off the sweater she had requisitioned from my room. Our shower was quiet and brief but no less refreshing. When I washed her hair, I massaged Beth's scalp, and she melted against my chest and made adorable mewling appreciative moans.

When we finished, I dried myself quickly, slid the sweatpants on, and watched Beth put on the clothes she had selected. She slipped into a pair of black boyshort cut panties and added generic jean shorts over them. On each leg, she added a pink and white striped knee-high sock. A nondescript blue t-shirt completed her outfit. She looked casual and cute while unimposing, and I wondered if it was intentional. She wasn't trying to get dolled up for our breakfast outing because she wasn't trying to keep my eyes on her and stake her singular claim to me. After all, she wanted to share.

We made our way out of the bathroom and into the living area. Sam, Cynthia, and Evgenia sat around the dining table. The atmosphere changed significantly as Beth and I entered the room, and not particularly for the better.

Cynthia smiled at the two of us proudly, and she informed us that she had just finished making some coffee and that she was waiting for Beth so that they could start cooking breakfast together. She seemed altogether content that we were joining them this morning. I wished her enthusiasm was mirrored in the other two.

Sam blushed, and her eyes sank to the floor. She seemed to withdraw into her seat, trying to hide in the open and go invisible. She was embarrassed and uncomfortable and quickly excused herself as Beth and I approached. Sam placed her mug in the kitchen sink and left, presumably heading to the bathroom.

Evgenia gave the least predictable reaction. She visibly stiffened as I entered the room, and I could smell fear and apprehension from her. I had no idea why -- I knew her position with our contract was uncomfortable, but I had hoped I hadn't personally given her a reason to fear me. I quickly concluded that my position was untenable -- I could not have someone who was supposed to be an advisor frozen in terror when I entered a room. I needed more information, but I wouldn't be able to get it myself if she was going to hide from me.

As Beth and I sat at the table, I responded to Cynthia, "I don't think that's in the cards today. Beth hoped to talk to Sam this morning; perhaps the three of us could get brunch out before meeting with Antonin. What were you planning on for the rest of today?"

Predictably, Cynthia answered first, "I need to make an appearance at the local offices today to inform them of the change in my status. Wouldn't want to be assigned anything else accidentally right now."

Evgenia cautiously followed, "I also need to spend some time in the offices today. I need to connect with Aisling's court to see what permits you need to remain within the city limits. Is there anything you would require me to do in your stead, James?"

"Could the two of you try to construct a list of ways I might use my newfound powers to help the community here? I don't know what I'm capable of doing, what needs doing, or who would need help versus who would just want philanthropic labor. Aisling seemed to think that I would be a massive benefit, so I would like to start thinking about what I can do to contribute. As nice as it would be to spend every day simply lounging here with all of you, I should try to repay you for your help and earn my place fairly."

Both women nodded and seemed to understand what I had inarticulately asked. The dragon in my mind was also content with the idea, for significantly different motives than mine. He cynically accepted my desire to do good for two main reasons. First, it would likely make us less reliant on Aisling and, therefore, less beholden to her whims. The second I found despicable. He was content with doing generous acts for the general community because it would likely make them less suspicious and more accepting of our sudden intrusion into their world. It was cute that I wanted to do benevolent things because it was 'the right thing to do,' but he accepted my desires because it had other benefits.

Evgenia excused herself, and Beth whispered that she would talk to Sam about going out.

I quietly asked, "Cynthia, can you talk to Evgenia today if you have any time?"

She pursed her lips and looked slightly confused at me, "What did you have in mind?"

"She is clearly bothered by me, or by being here, or something. Could you try to figure out if there's anything I can do to make her more comfortable? I don't think she'll talk to me about it."

"Hmm. I had noticed her tense when you and Beth entered, and she wasn't particularly engaged at dinner. I figured we would give her a week to get accustomed to interacting with us before I started questioning it."

I shook my head, "I don't think it's just that. She was fine with just you and Sam, but when I entered the room, it was like someone sucked the soul out of her. Just try to befriend her for me, please? Keep an extra eye open. I'm already regretting signing the paper."

Beth came enthusiastically back into the kitchen and told us Sam was getting ready to go out to brunch. I wondered how exactly Beth had accomplished that so quickly, but since I hadn't felt any intense spikes of emotion over our connection, I assumed it had been reasonably straightforward.

Sam cautiously meandered down the hallway a few minutes later, avoiding eye contact with Beth and me. She had agreed to go with us but clearly still felt uncomfortable with the entire idea. We left the apartment and caught a cab to a diner that Beth had found online. Evidently, she had also been given a laptop and used it to locate a highly-rated place near the courthouse.

Beth tried to talk to everyone during the ride, but neither Sam nor the driver responded to her feeble attempts. I was a bit anxious about the idea of convincing Sam to pursue me romantically and preoccupied with how Evgenia had responded to my presence this morning to engage in conversation. Eventually, Beth allowed us to sit silently as we made our way downtown. I paid for our ride and found my way inside, practically dragged by Beth to a wooden booth in one of the corners. Surprisingly, she sat across from me, and Sam joined her on the other side.

I was suddenly overwhelmed with grief when we sat down in the booth. I had never been one to particularly enjoy breakfast or going out to eat in general, and here I was, getting brunch for the second time in three days. In that regard, I was alone in my family, and my mother, sister, and aunt had made a habit of getting together to gossip over brunch at least once every six weeks. Occasionally, I would be dragged along, notionally against my will, to one of these gatherings. For the first time, it was sinking in that I would never be brought along again.

I wasn't exactly missing the experience of going out to eat; I was confronting the irrevocable reality that I would never see them again. My mother would never ask when the next time I was coming home was. My sister would never call to ask to borrow $20 because Mom had already said no, but a new pair of shoes had gone on sale, and couldn't I just help her out this one time? My dad and I would never talk about how our local sports team was underperforming again and how their physio team must be awful because everyone was injured.

My entire old life had disappeared overnight, and it was only now sinking in when I came to get breakfast again. I knew intellectually that I would never see them again, which made sense. In 50 years, either I would be dead from the ever-escalating chaos of being involved with the magical world, or I would be identical to how I am now. There was simply no feasible manner to have a long relationship with someone on the other side of the magical divide. I hadn't consumed that information emotionally before.

I was drawn out of my thoughts when Sam told the waitress serving our table that we would need another few moments with the menu. I looked up and around, and Beth was staring back at me, her bright green eyes full of pain. A tear trickled from one of them down her face. I concluded that I fully shared my emotions with her and overwhelmed her with the sudden sense of loss that I had experienced with none of the context.

When the waitress had turned and left, Sam, looking rather upset herself, quietly said, "What the fuck happened? Are you two alright? Do we need to leave?"

Beth took a deep breath, and her voice cracked and wavered when she answered, "So, J and I kinda share emotions. I dunno what he was thinking about, but my god, it was like an ocean of sadness just came and sank me to the bottom of it where I would never see the sunlight again."

I winced as I contemplated how uncomfortable it must've been to experience that without warning. I looked between the two girls, seeing a still troubled Beth and a surprisingly jealous-looking Sam, and apologized. "I'm sorry. I don't usually do this sort of thing, going to brunch to talk, and it reminded me of my family. It just kind of hit me that I was here now. That I can't go back."

Both girls instinctively reached out to hold my hand to comfort me, and I greatly appreciated the motion. We sat melancholically until the waitress returned and took our orders. Once our food arrived, Beth turned to Sam and broke the spell of silence that had befallen our table.

"So, do you know what I wanted to talk about?"

Sam blushed bright red and started apologizing, "I'm so sorry, Beth. I knew you two were a thing, and I acted impulsively. I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I don't know why I did it."

Beth reached out and took Sam's hands into her own, "Sam, it's perfectly okay. I'm not upset, and that's not really what I wanted to talk about."

Sam smelled of grief and regret and vehemently rejected Beth's offer of forgiveness, "It wasn't okay. It wasn't fair to put J in that position, nor to have been so spiteful to him. It wasn't right to make him have to explain it to you. I should've just stayed quiet and out of your room."

Beth squeezed the other girl's hand insistently and interrupted, softly consoling her, "Sweetie, you were incredibly upset and overwhelmed. Expecting you to be perfect then would have been completely unfair to you. Neither of us were offended by you. However, I want to be there the next time you kiss James."

Beth paused, stalling just long enough for her words to sink in, and I felt my beast exude extreme satisfaction. It congratulated itself on how well we had selected our first mate since she was not only tolerating the idea of more but skillfully helping us convince another to join us. Sam scrunched her face up in bewilderment and was about to ask a question before Beth continued, "Now, that wasn't really what I was interested in talking about. I don't want to hear about how sorry you are and how it will never happen again because, as far as I'm concerned, you did nothing wrong. I hear enough regrets over victimless crimes from James' insecurities. I'd prefer not to have to convince you that you are a lovely girl who I want to be friends with again.

"I did want to talk to you about what led to last night. I know you talked to James about it a bit, but I would like to know just what made you so upset yesterday and how we can prevent it from happening again."

Sam flushed while Beth spoke, and I caught hints of arousal and desire joining with her anxiety and contrition. Sam looked at Beth and me and stumbled as she gradually found her words.

"It was a bit of a shock, going to bother someone who had kept me up all night and getting all worked up and angry and bitchy, just to have James open his apartment door. I realized he was exactly what I was drawn to, and now that he had magic, I didn't have to pretend anymore. Then I realized you were there and that you were trying to hold onto him for dear life over the rest of the day. Then he came and got me when you were in trouble that night, and it was just like he was showing off that he already had someone and didn't need me. I know he didn't mean that, but it was how my worked-up exhausted mind interpreted it. I just had, I don't know, an extreme case of emotional whiplash from feeling so hopeful and then having life dash them again."