The Desire Principle

Authors Note:

As this is the first chapter of what I hope to be an ongoing epic, I should clarify a number of things before I begin. If you like you can feel free to skip this little introduction, but what I'm going to say here will actually benefit you most if you are the sort to tire easily from reading long paragraphs of non-sexual material.

Any chapter containing the term "Exposition" in the subtitle, such as this one does, will be a chapter devoted to character development and backstory, featuring very little or no sexual activity, and any such activity that does appear will be breezed over without great effort spent on description. If you just want the sex, skip these chapters (or read them when you're just killing time and not really 'in the mood').

Following most, but likely not all, expositions there will be a chapter featuring the term "Culmination" in the subtitle, which is to indicate that this is a follow-up to the exposition which will feature sexual situations nearly always resulting in a 'climax' at the climax, if you take my meaning. Think of these as two-part stories with all of the mundane material of the first part serving to build up to the explicit material of the second. Readers who enjoy the journey as well as the destination will do well to read both together, if possible.

I'll do my best to always post Exposition and Culmination chapters at the same time or very close together to keep the momentum going for the story. If you happen to see an Exposition chapter stand alone for more than a day or two, there's a good chance that it means there will be no Culmination chapter to finish it out. The next chapter will almost definitely feature sexual situations, but it won't be an honest conclusion, as the previous chapter will have concluded itself.

Last but not least I should preface this first chapter and explain that it is very dark and gloomy. While I want to apply what I call 'realistic grit' to this series, the whole of it will not be nearly as depressing as the first half of this first chapter. I wanted to start low now to establish who the main character is and why he has the needs that he does. If you don't want to feel bad for him, you can either skip the first two scenes or so, or just take my word that he'll be getting his lucky break soon enough. Hah.

I hope that all of that was coherent and cohesive, and I hope even more so that you all will enjoy reading my tales.

*****

The Desire Principle, Ch. 1: The Exposition of Jacob Watts

Jake cleaned out his desk, numbly. Into one white plastic crate went six years of service, six years of loyalty, six years of memories. As it turns out, the combined physical representation of that amounted to a fake potted plant, a small framed picture of his parents, and about a dozen or so manila folders that he should have been using for reports, but had in fact been home to statistic sheets for the role-playing games that had (unbeknownst to him) earned him the nickname of 'office wizard.'

He shook hands with a few friends who he had made among the cube farm (as he called it), and waved to two more that milled over by the water cooler attempting to avoid the awkwardness of actual conversation. He pressed the little button to call the Old Faithful, the ancient and loud elevator that served as their transportation device to the world of normal folk.

Times were tight for the company, and he couldn't in good conscience begrudge them for his dismissal as he had been one of many non-essential staff on the payroll. Still, the timing could have been better.

Happy Birthday

, he wished himself as the elevator doors closed.

Jake was twenty-five today. Relatively young and as of yet rather inexperienced, he had landed his quaint little office job as an internship out of high school and had turned it into a full time gig. He was beginning to think that it might even be something he could stick with for the long haul. He hated the work, of course, but he was paid well (for what he expected someone at his age to be making) and access to the office's supplied meant plenty of free copies of game rulebooks and sheets for himself and his friends.

He tried not to focus on all of he things that he had enjoyed about the job as the doors to the elevator opened and he trudged out to the lobby. He waved to the front desk secretary, another of the few peers that he felt actually enjoyed his company. She looked legitimately sad to see him going, so maybe he was right about that at least. Wandering out into the brisk afternoon Jake began his trip home with the thought,

God damn it, where did I park?

*****

It was garbage day and Jake had forgotten to set the bins by the road again. The only reason that he remembered was that apparently some stray dogs had torn open his neighbors bags and strewn a trail of empty aluminum cans and newspaper across one corner of his lot. Jake wasn't certain if he should be more annoyed that his neighbor had cleaned up her own yard but left his portion untouched, or that the entirety of the trash he saw were all recyclables that should have been left in the bin last week.

Resigning that the old adage of it pouring whenever it rained must be true, Jake dismissed the rubbish for the time being and hefted his not-so-hefty crate of personal effects under one arm as he wandered up to his front porch. He could practically feel the little rain cloud forming over his head, and sped up his pace so as to keep the neighborhood folk from seeing it too.

Inside he went through his usual routine of sifting through junk mail and pressing the button on his machine to confirm that he hadn't missed any calls. He meandered over to the refrigerator and opened it. He didn't particularly feel hungry, but this was usually the part of the day where he unwound from work with a little rest and relaxation in front of the computer or the television, and today that just didn't seem appealing.

The part of him that wanted to eat to pass the time and the part of him that was still quite full from lunch met half way and decided on a cup of yogurt, which he unceremoniously tore the tin lid from and discarded on his way to the den. He sat in silence for the first half of his cup, which he never really thought tasted like the fruits that they advertised, until he decided that sitting in a dark and noisy room was less depressing than a dark and silent room, and switched on the tube.

Jake made a big show for nobody of switching channels every time something good happened to the characters in the show he was half-watching, and eventually resolved to just watch commercials since in those at least the people were being happy about something that he probably had.

As it turned out commercials were more interesting than he had usually given them credit for, either because of the clever writing that they were allowed to get away with due to not having executives in the studio when they shot, or because of the incredibly cheesy writing that was half the time delivered in clear parody and the other half delivered with such sincerity that you couldn't help but laugh.

It must have been an hour or so that Jake spent ultimately forgetting the events of the day, relaxing into his recliner in his little two-bedroom house with a view of a glorified pond. But forgetting one thing gave way to him remembering another; his bladder. He amused himself briefly with the notion of a man having such a horribly depressing day that he simply gave up all effort at life and wouldn't even expend the needed effort to stand up to relieve himself, but he was quickly recognizing the danger of a brief notion becoming a grim actuality, and he stood and made his way to the john at the end of the hall.

Returning to a still warm chair and a still playing television Jake barely touched ass to seat before he caught what was on the screen and perked up slightly. A movie that he'd been waiting for came out this week, and he had nearly forgotten to go see it. Weighing the pros and cons briefly he decided that he was still getting a full paycheck next week and that his very modest severance package would be enough to get him through as if he was still employed for a month or so following that. Ultimately he decided that it was his birthday and he needed some sort of pick-me up. He clicked off the TV and went to retrieve his keys.

*****

The previews were usually more enjoyable than the first five minutes of the film, Jake noticed as the story started to take off. It wasn't all that surprising to him really, as he expected that most people preferred the build up. It was sort of like being teased sexually, he mused, postulating that many women, and very likely a good portion of men, enjoyed the build up of foreplay as it made the outcome so much better. If it was done right, of course.

The movie wasn't really what he had expected it to be, and he began to take more interest in looking around the theatre at the other patrons enjoying their popcorn and soda. There wasn't a very big turnout. It was a smaller budget film with a second string cast, and it was nearly a week since it released, so Jake wasn't really that surprised. He made a practice of sitting in the back row, so as to not be distracted by talkers behind him, and so had a good view of the room. He saw a few groups that looked like friends that came to waste an afternoon together, and one or two couples clearly on dates, some more relaxed than others.

One couple caught his attention, as they seemed to be bickering at first glance. The same reason that he had chosen to sit in the rear of the theatre was now causing him to not be able to make out clearly what their argument was about, much to his chagrin. Coming up with a little internal dialogue for them, he attempted his best to play it out with the movement of their lips.

This movie's stupid

¸ he mimed as the woman's mouth fluttered rapidly. She'd clearly said a lot more, but he was keeping it simple.

I told you what it was about. You didn't have to come

, quipped back the voice in his head, and he was surprised that the man's lips seemed to be pretty close to in sync with his second sentence. He wondered if he had been guessing right, then realized that she was talking again.

Quickly he thought up,

Why? Did you have a different date?

He was clearly way off this time, beginning to seem more like he was dubbing a kung fu flick.

The man nodded, and said one word that Jake was able to match to,

Yup.

He was already forming her reply in his mind for that, and was ready as her mouth opened. Before he could match voice to motion however, she disappeared. Not so much vanished, as if into thin air, but she definitely was not there anymore. Curiosity piqued, Jake watched on as the man's head sort of leaned back and lolled to the side. His arm came off of the back of the seat beside him, where it had been resting, and moved to rest on his lap. It was clear however, from the angle of his shoulder and elbow, that his hand was actually resting on something about ten inches or so above his lap. More than just piqued at this point, Jake was engrossed.

For the next five minutes or so Jake was not in the movie theater, not really. He was living in the exact moment of that silhouetted woman opening her mouth and simply ceasing to be in the seat beside her date. He made a point to tear his eyes away for just a moment to scan the other attendees, and was immediately quite certain that he was the only one privy to the goings on in front of him. He realized of course that he was the only person sitting behind this couple, and that in some theaters the back row seems to disappear into a mass of inky blackness when contrasted by the projector on the wall above. He continued to watch lecherously in anticipation as he attempted to recall if these two had come in before the lights went down. He didn't have long to ponder it, as suddenly the outline of the man against the flickering screen flinched.

He watched as the shape was still for a moment, and then another small shudder came, and a third. His head was upright now, and both hands were at rest above his crotch. The next moments took a veritable eternity, but with patience Jake waited until he saw what he was hoping to see. Slowly and gingerly the shape of a woman's head and shoulders slid back up to a sitting position, and then with a good deal less grace she popped up out of her seat and began up the aisle toward the exit.

The thought of not looking hadn't really occurred to Jake up to this point, so he just kept on trailing the female form with his eyes as she approached the row he was sitting in. A sudden on-screen event, which of course Jake had not seen coming, caused the light produced by the projector to dim significantly. The woman stopped to catch her bearings and looked around. Her head pointed in Jake's direction and he could almost feel her eyes coming into focus on him.

As his eyes too came to clarity he saw an expression of shock come over her, and she gave a short startled gasp and her hand flew to her mouth. He saw her struggle for a moment with some internal reflex.

Is she... did she just...?

Jake didn't need to finish his thought as she coughed just slightly enough for a little spatter of white fluid to pass her lips and catch on her index finger.

With a brand new expression of absolute horror, and while still making eye contact with a frozen (and at this point ragingly erect) Jake, she bolted up the rest of the shallow ramp and out the exit. The commotion caught the attention of most of the theatre-goers, but none more so than her date, who stood quickly, slowed slightly by some adjustment he first had to make to the front of his pants, and flew out the door on his partner's heels. There had thankfully been more onscreen action at the time, and Jake was fairly confident that the man had failed to notice him.

The film after that seemed even more uneventful than before, and Jake found himself replaying that look on her face about as often as the moments of her sudden departure and return. Though he was aching for the credits to roll, when they did he found that he had to wait through them to the end, lest he betray what he had actually watched in that theatre by way of the somewhat obvious tent that he was sporting. Thankfully his little buddy had calmed down enough by the time the janitorial staff came in that he could make his escape back to his car and from there the seclusion of home, where he could actually do something about that lump in his crotch.

*****

Only a few blocks away from the cinema Jake had decided on a small detour. It wasn't as if he really needed to rush home, he wasn't exactly going to forget any of the events he witnessed that night, and he had thought of another way to lift his spirits.

Although Jake had grown up a good ways outside of town, he attend junior high and high school in this town, and had many fond (and not so fond) memories of the area. One of the better ones was of a little park which had been renovated some time during his junior high tenure. He'd had his first kiss in that park during a school football game, and had spent many afternoons just lounging there with friends, occasionally goofing off on various large toys and structures designed for use by much smaller children.

He would occasionally stop by his old stomping grounds as a way of centering himself. Usually that meant that he was unwinding from a tough week or taking some time to get some fresh air and sort out financial trouble in his head. This would be the biggest crisis he had ever looked to this little park to solve, but the moon was full and the night was warm, so he figured it couldn't hurt.

Everything was mostly as he remembered it. There were a few more benches, the wood chips looked fresh, and he found a larger number of cigarette butts conveniently left lying on the ground beside the cigarette butt receptacles than usual, but it was still the same old place despite all of that. He made his rounds, observing how so many of the old spare tires and chains that they had converted into children's entertainment were still holding up since his last visit and the one before that.

There was one significant new addition that he hadn't yet noticed, however. And that was, "Out for a stroll?" The voice came from behind Jake, in the direction of the small branch of a larger river that ran through the park's southern quadrant. He turned a little abruptly, not really expecting to see anyone else in the park that night.

What he saw were four men. More accurately he saw three men, and an ogre they had taught to stand erect and wear people-clothes. He had to be pushing six feet tall, and was almost half his height in width. The whole group wore ragged jeans and tees, mostly sporting the logos for metal bands that had disbanded over a decade ago. Jake did also notice that one in the back was holding, of all things, a golf club. There was no golf course near here. He had no right holding a golf club in a city with no golf course at nearly eleven o'clock at night. Of course Jake wasn't going to be the one to point that out.

"I said," repeated the apparent leader of the thugs, "are you out for a little stroll, tonight?"

Jake really wanted to point out that he hadn't said exactly that, but he made the much wiser choice of stammering out a, "Yeah." He felt his blood draw away from his skin. He couldn't be experiencing what he thought he was. This was a nice town, and a fairly nice neighborhood of it at that.

The crew strode closer though, and all but confirmed his fears as their appointed speaker returned, "That's a pretty nice suit you're wearing. What's that, a hundred and fifty bucks? Two fifty?"

He realized suddenly that he was in fact wearing his work suit. A moment before he could have been just as surprised to find that he was nude, as choice of wardrobe was not his biggest concern. Then he realized the genesis of the ruffian's question. He thought that Jake was loaded. The truth is that the whole suit, shoes and all, cost him $12.50 at a local thrift shop. But that was hardly an appropriate response. Someone surprised to hear his own voice, "I don't want any trouble," echoed out of Jake's mouth and toward the ears of the gang. They laughed.

"We don't want any trouble either. Do we?" The leader got a chuckle and a few shrugs from his companions before finishing with, "We just want your wallet, and your car keys."

Jake started to panic. His heart raced and adrenal glands started distributing chemical assistance to his muscles and sensory organs. He thought for a second and tried to steady himself. He had a single conscious thought that went something like,

This isn't so bad. I'll give them my wallet and keys, call the cops, and everything will be okay. No one needs to get the shit kicked out of them. It'll be okay.

Then he heard what the thug was saying over his internal monologue.

"He's freakin' out. Give him a wake up call before he bolts."

Jake was about to say something when a sharp pain started in the back of his head, and the ground abruptly rushed up to eagerly introduce itself to his face. He groaned a little as he felt someone fishing in his pockets. He was aware of his surroundings enough to know that he was surrounded by legs and feet, and that somewhere above them there were voices. The voices, though he couldn't really focus on them, were clearly upset at the meager seven dollars he had in his wallet. These punks were apparently smart enough to know that credit cards are worthless to pilfer given how easily they're cancelled, and for that matter how easily they're traced.

The congress above didn't last long, and they apparently agreed on an acceptable course of action. Jake lay there waiting for them to head off to take his car for a joy ride so that he could nurse his rapidly swelling head back to health in private. Just thinking about his head made it sting for a moment. Actually, it hurt a great deal more than just a stinging. A second pain in his left leg brought on the reality that this wasn't old pain, but new pain.