Chapter Eighteen: Chaos
Prelude: Queen's Gambit
CORRUPTION
I detested metaphors. Language itself was a horrific abstraction of communication, and metaphors were the vilest of linguistic concoctions, though perhaps similes were even worse. That being said, I was the god of the astral plane, which meant metaphors became quite literal for me, and so I was vexed to find myself sitting on Diamond's astral garden, and staring at a chessboard.
The board was not set up in the traditional sense. Some pieces were missing, others were more numerous than usual, and their placement at the beginning of the game was all wrong. My dark king stood in her correct position at the center-back. She was the focal point of which all other pieces moved and my greatest source of weakness. My beloved queen stood in the far right corner, huddled with her treacherous bishop and her loyal rook. I had only the one bishop on my side of the board; sneaky and elusive, capable of traversing between pieces like the snake she was. Similarly, I had only the one rook; stalwart and loyal, but also terribly predictable. This rook would stand in defense of her queen no matter the danger, and the queen would always stand in defense of the bishop, for the queen had become dependent on the bishop's lies. My two knights flanked my king, capable of flying over the gameboard and attacking the enemy unpredictably. My many pawns stood before the power-pieces, so numerous that they overflowed their designated front row, and occupied every space leading to the enemy's front.
I had an overwhelming advantage in numbers, but the pieces across from me were of much higher quality. The row that should've been occupied by white pawns was instead filled with knights, for the footmen of the enemy were much more powerful than my own, and their abilities made them very hard to predict. The white player also had two bishops to rival my own; one rested timidly upon the white squares, while the other licked her fangs hungrily upon the black. Similar to my side of the board, the enemy had only one rook, and that rook stood beside her queen no matter the danger. Also similarly to my board, the queen, rook, and dark-squared bishop moved in tandem, starting at the far corner and seeking to maneuver their way around the edges of the board. The timid white bishop positioned herself to maneuver between the rows of black pawns, and strike my own bishop from the board. She took her king with her on this perilous journey, right into the heart of my force.
There was a problem with this ridiculous metaphor, however. The only piece I could move at all was my king, and not reliably. My opponent could make a dozen moves at once before I could make a single one, and my only hope was to bait a trap and pray that the pieces could not see the obfuscation for what it was. I had a good delaying entrapment setup for my opponent's queen, dark-bishop, and rook, but my second entrapment was far more dangerous. The gambit would require me to put my king in jeopardy, but it also lent me the chance at a checkmate.
And who was my opponent? Death, I supposed. Whether they knew it or not, the pieces across from me were being moved by the uncaring and unthinking force of nothing. I didn't hate them for being ignorant; I pitied most of them for being fated to die on this board. Well, that wasn't entirely true; I hated the king, but I could not understand why he conjured such a deep and visceral odium within me.
I glanced across the board and studied the crowned piece, then I drew my eyes to the piece standing next to it. The white-squared bishop stood timidly to the king's left, but on his right, stood another king. This king was just as important as the first and much,
much
more vulnerable. The bishop would guide both kings through the forest of pawns, and into the very back row of my side of the board. Though the board was skewed and the formations were all wrong, the rules of the game were still the same; checkmate and the game is over. It didn't matter which king.
Part One: The Devil's Whore
ANGELA
I watched the first glimmer of daylight emerge from behind Ofan, and sighed. I hadn't closed my eyes all night, and I had just been ready for sleep. I rolled over in the bed and kissed my brother's lips. His morning breath filled my mouth, tasting of last night's passion.
"Is it already morning?" he groaned.
"Almost," I whispered. "Time to shit, shower, and shave. Oh, and brush your teeth. Your breath tastes like ass."
"I wonder why," he grumbled and cocooned himself in his blankets. "Fuck, it's already today. I wish it was yesterday."
"So do I."
"I had a speech all memorized last night," he looked up at me, his blue eyes filled with fear. "I don't think I can give it. I suck at public speaking."
"
That's
what you're scared of?"
"And the possessed gods of fire and water, but yeah, the speech is giving me some major performance anxiety." He gave me a small smile. "I could really use a pep-talk right now."
"Your speeches suck and you're going to forget everything you memorized."
"Thanks."
"You're going to freeze, panic, and piss yourself in front of everyone, and they'll all laugh at you. The valkyries will all abandon you for being such a loser, Willowbud will kill herself out of sheer hopelessness, and I'll break up with you and start fucking Julia instead because she can deliver the kind of fire-and-brimstone sermons that make a girl like me weak in the knees." I grinned down at Brandon. "So now facing the possessed gods of fire and water don't seem so bad anymore, do they?"
"No," he smiled back and kissed me. "Thanks,
Angél.
"
Fifteen minutes later, we were standing in the amphitheater. Brandon and Willowbud stood side by side, and the rest of us stood out front before the rows of Ofanians and Ionans. All were silent. Brandon let the sounds of morning birds fill the air before he cleared his throat.
"I don't really have much to say," he began. "I'm not good with words. Thanks, I guess, for being here. It's stupid early in the morning, and you all showed up on time, which is pretty dope. Good... solid... commitment, that's what that shows. All of you—and me too—we're all super committed right now. We're gonna kick some ass, save the world, and then... you know, chill out afterward. You all know what you have to do; you've been training for a moment like this your whole life. I know what I have to do, and I'm gonna... I'm gonna fucking do it! Nona and Bianca are awesome, and they're gonna keep everything super professional. We'll be like straight-up commandos in there with those two at the helm; just fucking... just fucking kicking some fucking ass, that's what we're gonna do! And Willowbud—you all know her—she's, you know... she's here, so... everybody give it up for Willowbud!"
Brandon gestured violently to his deific partner, then began applauding fervently as he sidestepped away. The Ionans clapped politely, the Ofanians cheered and wept like they'd just heard the most inspiring oration ever spoken, and Willowbud stepped forward.
"Thank you, Brandon, for those rousing words," she said and composed herself. "I'm sorry if my speaking is rusty; the only times I ever gave speeches was to rally the boys back in Drastin when we were going to hit up Gloria's gang. In that regard, this isn't much different. At our doorstep, marches the largest exodus ever assembled. They're a bunch of self-righteous zealots who think God's on their side, and you're going to kill them all. The men, the women, and yes, the little bastards too. You're going to stack the bodies higher than Iona, you're going to turn the desert into an ocean of blood, you're going to feed the vultures until they're too fat to fly! In a hundred years, orc mothers will be telling ghost stories about you to make their children go to bed—that is, if you merciless cunts leave any alive to tell the tale. When this day is done, the names of Iona and Ofan will be on every street corner in every city across the world. They will respect you; they will revere you, and most of all, they will fear you!"
The Ionans rose to their feet and chanted a thunderous nordic war-cry, the Ofanians applauded politely, and Willowbud stepped back beside Brandon. Astrid and I promenaded to the center of the platform and linked our hands in a show of unity as Willowbud and Brandon did the same. The valkyries cheered louder than ever, and with the spiritual momentum on our side, we transformed into our avian forms and flew as one from the amphitheater. The sun rose behind us as the Gratoran Wall fell out from beneath us, and the vast desert was laid out. To the north, the Tentigo Tropics were obscured in a soft mist, and to the south, the sands were blackened from horizon to horizon with Julia's horde.
DIAMOND