Thomas was furious as he slammed the door of the control room shut. Furious, sad, and very, very horny. He had no other choice but to rub one off right now, right here. He started to unzip when there was a voice behind him.
"Whoa bro, wait a moment."
Thomas zapped up from the chair and turned around to face a young man.
"Who the fuck are you!" he shouted at the grinning stranger.
"I'm technician 2077, the one you've been impersonating. So the real question is, who are you?"
Thomas's mouth gaped open and his typically quick mind couldn't come up with any sort of a plausible lie.
"Relax bro," the man said, still grinning. "I don't mind getting paid when someone else does my job. Only thing is, I can't think of a reason why you would do it. So I came here to find out."
"Uh...I like volunteering?"
"Just kidding. Of course I know why you do it. Who doesn't like to have such power over some college girl agents, am I right?"
Thomas couldn't answer.
"Don't sweat it. That's why I took the job. Full disclosure. I fuck them every night. Sometimes two girls in one night. I saw that recording of you with those two girls in that dorm room. Man, I can't understand why you just jerked off and didn't fuck them."
"You...saw a recording?"
"Yeah. You didn't know all tech calls are recorded? I mean nobody is routinely looking through them, but it's all there in the computer. I was simply very curious what 'I' have been doing."
"So there's no point to lie then? You know everything?"
"See, I don't. I have no clue why you didn't just apply for the job like every regular perv, like I did. You a criminal or something?"
Thomas felt a strong urge to come clean. He had to talk to someone. His secret would come out sooner or later regardless.
"Worse. Guess again."
The stranger took a few steps toward him, smile having disappeared from his mouth but still present in his eyes.
"Oooh, a mystery. Okay, let me guess. Uh, a developer who fell in love with one of the agents and couldn't let go?"
"Kinda close, but not close at all."
"Wtf man, I can't come up with anything else. Like my mind just doesn't compute."
"I'm an agent. I belong on that side. I don't understand what happened, but I opened a passage and got here."
The man looked like he was about to say something, but his words froze in his mouth.
"You are an...agent? Are you shitting me? That's not possible."
"I agree, but here I am. I got here accidentally and I've been pretending to be you so I don't get caught, and now I'm just getting deeper and deeper into the lie. Sooner or later someone will find out and they'll reset me, throw me in a shredder, make me a companion, I don't know what."
"Relax, relax. Deep breaths. I have no intention to rat you out. This is so cool! So do you think you could, y'know, introduce me to some of your hot sim friends? Like maybe those two from that dorm room?"
Thomas looked at him with anger in his eyes.
"Okay, I get it. You have feelings for one of them. Or both. I'm not gonna judge. The first person I'd get naked would be my crush as well. I promise, I'm not going to fuck either one of those two. So you're really an agent, huh."
"Yep. Any ideas how to not destroy my life any more?"
"Here's a word of wisdom. There's no way to tell. Agents are basically indistinguishable from the real people. You're not just bits on a computer or anything. If you can fake it there's no way anyone will be able to tell."
Thomas relaxed a bit. That was something he'd feared. One scan with the wrong type of an instrument and he'd be massaging people in the Spa the next day.
"Are you sure about it?"
"Absolutely. You guys are grown in vats and all that, but you're still flesh."
"Okay, that is good. So uh, I don't mean to be direct, but what do I need to do to keep you quiet?"
"I haven't decided yet. How about you wingman for me a bit today and we'll see how it goes?"
"Wingman?"
"Yeah, come with me while I go indulge myself in hedonism and kinda keep watch, pretend to be me if there is a real maintenance call."
"Fine."
###
Thomas knew the girls at Delta Tau Fi had a reputation of being carnally active, but he was still shocked when he and the real 2077, who had adopted a name 'Adonis', descended the stairs into the sorority house basement in their white hazmat suits, invisible to any simulation agents.
"Pro tip. Or bro tip, whatever you prefer. You can safely jizz anywhere that's not a vagina. The agents don't see it, the same as they don't see us. They'll just ignore the blob of semen on their clothes until they have a chance to wash it off. It's like magic. You can still get girls pregnant though, so keep that in mind."
"Thanks, um, Adonis. I'll keep that in mind."
"Seriously. I plan to jerk off at least once down there just so I'll last longer upstairs when the girls go to bed. I suggest you do the same."