The Best Person for the Job

I was sitting on the rail of the lighting catwalk watching what used to be my body slumped partly over the side of catwalk.

I've been setting there about four hours when finally somebody came up to find out why the main background spotlight wasn't working. I had been changing it, because my assistant was on vacation.

I was starting to plug it back into a test drop cord when there was a pain shooting up my leg and across my chest. Every heart beat sent increasing pains thru my body and each heart beat sounded like a drum beat in my head, then the drumming stopped. That was the last thought I had while in my body.

My "soul or spirit" didn't seem want to stray far from my body.

The two gaffers climbed on to the center of the catwalk, Ben in the lead shouted "Coby! Ken is laying half off the platform by backlight 7, that wasn't working" "Is he sick or drunk?" asked Cobi and added "No, He wouldn't get drunk here at the theater."

"Call 911!" said Ben as he bent over and checked for a pulse, which of course there wasn't any. "Crap. I think he is dead and from the expression on his face it hurt like hell." When Colby didn't act he repeated "Call 911 and get the theater manager up here NOW."

They both yelled down to the actors on stage that I was up here. He's Dead

Then the two gaffers started talking nervously about who my replacement would be. They hoped that whoever wasn't as hard to get along with and stubborn as I have been. I would have gotten mad, but mostly it was true. I could hear other people thinking and talking around the theater about me dying.

I heard one voice that I knew had to be Connie Whin, who was saying 'I almost had to beg him, so the lightning wouldn't make me look older and wrinkled."

I had just attended her fourteenth or fifteenth 38th birthday party a few months ago. We had been friends and enemies for over 35 years from when we both were new to the theater. Hell, once in the beginning we were even lovers.

Someone else said "Ken's lighting was always flattering. I don't know what you were talking about." I think it was Eli, a rising star in our group. Someone else answered "Eli, you're always flattering him and wearing those low cut Atomic outfits, with 50 % fallout, always helped. So he liked you or at least your chest."

I listened to the concerns that the theater owners and the owners of the movie company I worked with jointly as they were busily trying to come up with someone to take my place. I tried to project the name of my friend and helper when I got stuck on a set or lighting problems or requirements. They did bring up his name first, but I don't know if I had anything to do with it.

The EMTs came a few minutes later and lowered me to waiting gurney and rolled me into the ambulance. I got in with them to see what was going to happen to my body. When the ambulance arrived at the morgue I was surprised at how different it was from what we portrayed in the theatrical productions. It was somewhere in between the sparkling spotless chrome and white rooms or the brown walled with pitted dirty troughs with fluids flowing into open floor drains.

My body was slid onto a tray and put into one of the body refrigerators. Not wanting to join it in the dark I found I could set comfortably on top of some personnel lockers across room.

When I wasn't paying attention to the area around the locker one of the employees came to open his locker. I jerked my legs up out of the way as he opened his locker.

As he stood taking stuff out of his scrubs and putting them away in the locker. First I slowly dropped my foot in front of the open locker and he didn't see it. Then I slide it over and tapped him lightly on his shoulder. Nothing, but then he said "The filters need to be changed again, because I'm feeling some weird cold drafts today"

When he closed the door it and his hand went through my leg that was dangling there in front of his locker and never reacted with my image. So I knew all the hype is true that ghosts don't have solid forms.

After sitting up there for a few hours by the clock on the wall my bodies' tray was pulled out and my autopsy was performed.

As soon as the Y incision was performed, the flaps laid back, the congealed blood sectioned out it was clear that one of my arteries had ruptured. I had died almost instantly was wrote on my death certificate.

The doctor took some blood samples and ran the test for drugs and other foreign substances in my body. He wouldn't find anything just a body giving out.

I felt ambivalent watching it.

My family came to identify and make arrangements for the collecting of my body that afternoon. I was surprised at the genuine sorrow of my passing from both my kids.

Kimberly, Kim, and I had not been close since I hadn't agreed with her about her career choice to be a lawyer, instead of the chef I knew she should be. Also we fought about who she married. He was in the upper half of the fortune 500 companies and idolized her. He was one of the backers for her run for Circuit Court Judge.

James, Jim, was an owner and chef of his own restaurant "The Cove Room", a 1920's speakeasy he had reopened and got a 5 star rating within two years.

Yes, I wanted him to be the lawyer.

I wasn't surprised, but still sorry for my wife's emotion at seeing my body. I knew she was the one thing in the world that loved me and I loved back.

A van came for me shortly after and took my body and me to the crematorium.

The crematorium was just what I expected, however more organized; soon after I arrived they started the crematorium fires. They had a three bay furnace and I was a last body needed for a firing. "I'd always joked with people that I wanted to be cremated, because I wanted to be heated up slowly, before I went directly to hell." I thought.

I stayed around until they opened the doors 6 hours later. They removed each of our ashes into separate containers or urns.

We stayed, the spirits of the cremated bodies, and watched.

An elderly gray haired stooped woman's ashes were placed into a Chinese style urn painted with mountains, water, birds, and letter characters. She smiled and left when they were picked up.

An elderly burly man's ashes were put into a cardboard shipping tube, after being double bagged and sealed, and the top screwed on and taped. As the staff worked they talked about how in this guy's will it stated that his ashes were to be mailed all over the world and then his ashes spread at his family's graveyard afterwards.

My ashes were locked in a locked cabinet for safe keeping.

The next morning Jim came to pick up my ashes and he had urn that I had bought many years ago from a friend. It was tan colored decorated with brass Comedy and Tragedy theatrical masks and gold comets. I had it setting in my home office. The staff put my ashes into the urn and sealed it.

When the workers asked Jim said "There will going to be a memorial service tomorrow afternoon for my family and his friends. "That meant only attendee's would be my wife and two kids, maybe," I thought.

I went along with Jim in his car. He went his apartment, where he placed me on the bookcase. He did something I hadn't seen him do before. He set with a bottle and had a few drinks while looking at a photo album. After few drinks he fell asleep in the chair.

I decided to look around as he slept. I went through his apartment house and around the neighborhood. I was fascinated in a detached way that what I was seeing. As I went around people walking I could see their thoughts with either joy or sorrow, but also a lot of indifference. Surprisingly I saw a couple other spirits/ ghosts hanging around too. They seemed to be either intently watching over one or more people or just looking at the view or area.

After a few hours I went back to my son's apartment and set watching him. The next morning he called his mother and sister and set up a lunch appointment with them. I was surprised at how worn they all looked. They should've been elated to be finished with me. I was surprised because when we talked about dying I said "cremate me, forget me, and start a better life.

At about 3:30 they drove to the theater where I had worked for so many years and had died. The doors were open with signs pointing to my memorial service.

I expected it to be in the small 12 seat private showing area, but they went to the larger movie viewing area. In the viewing area were several screens showing looped examples of my lighting work on different projects, plays, and movies. Scattered among the screens were placards with some of the charities I had supported and they had people's names who are donating to them instead of flowers or other gifts. This made me happy both because they listened and had donated to them.

About 7:30 people started piling into the hall. The mixture surprised me: friends, enemies, coworkers and people I hadn't seen in years. It was strange to be able to hear and see people talking about my past from their eyes.

Some of the stories I didn't know - about my mentoring had helped them when they needed it or my classes had got them their jobs,

Some of the stories I didn't understand - How the karma of my lighting settings had caused the play to be so powerful,

Some of them I'd hoped to forget - about when backlighting of a screen it had made all the actresses look nude thru their thin dresses and when it went on tour worldwide they had to make sure it looked the same or there were protests about keeping the original image of the writer.

I don't know if it was the memorial circumstances talking or people really thought this way. I didn't get to hear much of comments about what a crabby Old Fart I'd been as I should have.

There were more stories of the things I tried to do and my values. I overheard someone saying "in 5 months Connie Whin will be saying if Ken was doing the lighting this it would have been better."

After about an hour of this I saw someone in a long purple flowing robe across the room gesturing to me to come over. I knew it was for me because the persons arm was going through two people's bodies. As I moved over to him I thought my time is come to leave now.

When I reached him he pointed outside and I followed him through the wall.

As we stood outside I looked at him besides the robe he had a golden circle on his head holding back shoulder length reddish-brown hair. A simple golden rope belt and sandals completed his clothes.

He said "Ken, you're really not as bad as what you think you are. But you're not bad enough for hell and not good enough for heaven. That leaves me with the minor dilemma what to do with you."

I answered, "Okay, if you say so, but I can't see myself as a guardian angel, a fairy godmother, or even personal angel. That's just not me."

"No it's not, but you're exactly right for a job opening we have. It is perfectly suited for your personality and your talents." he said and then he told me my new job.

After staring at him for a few minutes I said "You have got to be shitting me. God does have a sense of humor. A huge one."

So the next times you hear somebody is dying and are going to towards the light. Guess who is controlling the light.

Glenview Actor's Retirement Home

Feeling a hand on my shoulder shaking me and heard "Connie. It's time to get ready for your big scene and we need to check your makeup" someone said.

I woke up in my old beige studio trailer's dressing room daybed and walked over and sat in front of the mirror and saw my reflection as a young vibrant woman having Marcy, my favorite makeup artist doing my makeup and hair. As she worked I restudied my cues and lines from the script without moving anything, but my eyes. A knock on the outside of the door and someone said "Ms. Whin you're needed on stage in 3 minutes."

As I walked the short distance to the sound stage I was humming. Opening the door to the sound stage I sweep into the set like the new star I was. The rest of the afternoon was grueling. At least 17 retakes, but after the last take the director said "Cut and that's a wrap. I think we will be proud of this film when it opens in theaters in 3 months.

Fast forward eight months.

For best lead actress in a drama movie. The winner is...... Connie Whin. A spotlight tracked to me and I had to blink at its brightness. For a second I thought if Ken would have been handling the lighting it would have been better.

Front porch

I woke with a start to the sound of revving engines and the smell of burnt gasoline and oil, which was an erotic perfume to me. Sitting up I saw the lights outlining the stands of a dirt track.

Walking down the street feeling better with each step. When I went up to the pay window the clerk said "they're waiting to start of the prelims and I see you already have your pit pass". Looking down I saw the pit pass bracelet on my wrist, and my gear under my arm.

Crossing under the bleachers I heard the fans excitement about the first night of the seasons racing.

Slipping into the drivers changing room I undressed, pulling on my fireproof suit, before it had been snug around my fat belly, but now it sagged like a youngsters pants until I added my belt.

I sat and pulled on my steel toed engineer boots, not the tennis shoes most drivers use now.

I lined my 40 year old helmet with a stocking cap, I'd had long hair when I bought it but now had none, before putting it on my head.

Leaving the changing room I slipped thru the driver's gate where I saw my old red # 86 super stock car waiting. I climbed in thru the window, seated myself and latched the 5 point harness. Starting it up, watching till all the gauges stabilized, putting it into gear and moving forward quickly.

I joined the other drivers for a rolling start. Going past the 4

th

turn I saw the flagman wave the green flag. Going around 1st turn in a 3 car wide 4 wheel drift I was blinded by one of the track lights.

Front seat of Pickup

I glanced at the dashboard clock and saw it was time to get into the chutes.

Taking a dip as I walked up the ramp I saw on the scoreboard I had drawn Killer Max for my ride for the finals of Dallas Rodeo Bull Riding.

Clint Adder was about to make his ride as I stepped up to my chute. His gate opened and that Old Crippler did his best to flip over coming out, then stiff legged hops, and then another buck. Clint flew off like a rocket as he flew he blocked out the lights across the arena.

I climbed up the fence, they handed me my rope, I sprinkled talcum on the gloves as I wrapped the rope around them. Set my hat on my head and nodded. The gate swung open. That old terror did everything but dance on the fences to get rid of me. When the 8 second buzzer rang he reared once more and looking up at the rodeo lights blinded me.

Thanksgiving evening

Sitting down to dinner with my family after all the hassle of cooking, cleaning, sharing secrets and memories was so gratifying.

As we started saying grace a loud knocking startled us. Ginny, my granddaughter, jumped up and ran to the front door. When she screamed and started crying. We all got up and rushed to join her and see what was wrong.

Holding her off the ground and kissing her was her husband, who had been deployed to Iraq, for a 2nd tour, for 13 months and wasn't expected back for another 2 months.

"Did I make if for grace?" he asked.

We all said 'Tim, You're what we've been praying for".

Another chair and place setting was setup as he sat next to Ginny, after everyone scooted around the empty chair we always left for quests. It was a loud rowdy happy family meal. Tim didn't eat much as he fed and played with Amy his 15 month old daughter. We all saw the tears rolling down his cheeks unashamedly. Ginny and he held hands as much as they could with their baby between them.

After lunch cleanup I went into the workroom to relax in my ratty old recliner and as I sat down I thought about being blessed with four generations of our family here today and Tim's early return.

I was almost ready to doze off when I felt a soft cool breeze, opened my eyes and was blinded by the curtain being blown open allowing the afternoon sunlight in.

The Roof

As the 24 year old gang member, who was tattooed, pierced, shaven headed ran up the stairs toward the upper floor roof exit he was laughing excitedly. "They think they're going to catch me. HA. When I get to the roof I'll run across that ramp to the next roof and kick it off and they can't catch me again." He thought.

He listed his crimes one per step. Robberies of schools, children in the park, classmates, and family, old fools on the streets and in their homes. Beatings of his girlfriends, family, cellmates, strangers where he found them. Rapes of all types mentally and physically. 3 murders he was sure, of 5 more maybes, as long as he didn't count the lower races.

He burst thru the door and saw the ramp was in place just like he placed it.

As he ran across the sun flashed off the side of building up the street and it staggered him and he fell. As he plunged down the 19 floors he wondered why everything was turning red and hot. It was January in Denver after all.

He didn't even get to die before he plunged into a special part of Hell, for people like him.

Dressing room - Reunion Rock and Roll Tour night 14

Everyone loved the tour, the music, and the old rockers. After working for weeks to get back to almost their old standards of playing, singing, and "THE" moves. The moves were a lot harder on 50 and 60 year old bodies than it was in teen and 20 something year old bodies.

Tonight in front of the home town crowd was the best performances that everyone had done. They were all on key, on time, and were in step.

When they had all came out to take their final bows, after restarting playing three times as a group, to standing ovations James saw that his fans had setup the old Rocker shift slide for him, his signature closing move. He gave them thumbs up and ran forward, turned backwards and fell into their waiting arms to be moved over head in a circle back to the stage.

As he fell backwards he thought about how long it had been since he had done this. Must have been over fifteen years, just before he lost his love to cancer. After being returned to the stage and walked off into the wings, turning to look out someone with an old camera took his picture with a bright flash that blinded him.

The Hospital

Hill and Court had been married 47 years, a couple for 64 years. He was three and a half years old and she was almost three when they first met. She had walked over and told him she loved him and he was hers. They had been together most of the time since, but now cancer was going separate them.

She was sleeping pain free for a short time and he was setting by her bed holding her hand sleeping with his head on the bed beside her. Their three children, five grandchildren, and one great grandson had been in to visit this first Sunday of Summer.

He was dreaming of the time, when they were eighteen and nineteen, and they had snuck away to go up to the falls and decided to go skinny dipping. Giggling they had climbed up to the head of the falls and jumped hand in hand off the out cropping. Afterwards they snuggled in the single blanket to get warm.

That was the first time they made love. Afterwards they hoped she was pregnant because they could get married now, not later, but it was seven years later after they were married when their first child was conceived.

When he felt her hand move and started stroking his hair he looked at her. "You were smiling in your sleep. What were you thinking about?" she asked softly. "The first time we went skinny dipping and how we wanted you to have a baby from it" he answered. They both started laughing as the sun flashed off the lakes water outside of the hospitals window blinding them both.