Scientists had been arguing for years over how our way of life would come to an end. Many had suggested the widespread belief that the planet would eventually overheat due to the damage caused by greenhouse gases. the sea levels would rise due to melting icebergs and many towns and cities would find themselves underwater. The question had always been whether we would ever be equipped to survive past this point, though many questioned if survival in that kind of environment would be a curse in itself.
These were the sort of questions that passed through my mind every day. At the age of twenty-one, you would think I'd be carefree and living life to the full, but the truth was I had always been like this. It led to me living the life of an introvert, staying inside and avoiding human contact as much as I could. In the year 2020 when the pandemic Coronavirus took the world by shock, my behaviour only got worse. I don't think I left the house for the first couple of months of the pandemic, relying on my parents to bring in food. Unfortunately, they both contracted the virus, bringing it into the house and it spread to me as well. I had never felt so ill in my life, remaining bed-bound as my body was hit by a persistent cough, a fever and migraines. After a long week, I was beginning to recover, unlike my parents who had been taken to the Coronavirus ward in the local hospital where I lost them to the virus within a week.
Devastated, I retreated further into my shell as I continued to hide in my parent's house which was now my own. I had completely lost touch with my only friend from school, and I had no one to support me. Trapped with just my mind for company, and the ever more depressing news, I found my mental health reach its lowest as I began to fear going outside. Somehow, I survived the next two years as the world started to return to a new normal. I still didn't go outside, and the lack of sunlight was having a detrimental effect on my health, both physically and mentally. It wasn't long before I started talking to myself about my irrational fears of the outside world, spiralling into a panic sometimes.
A month or so later, I ordered my food as like I had done over the past few years to find the lazy driver, who was clearly in a rush, dumped my shopping at the end of my drive on the street. Panic came over me as my chest tightened and I was suddenly short of breath. Just the idea of stepping outside made me freeze on the spot. What made it worse was that I know I needed to go get it. There was no food in the fridge and it looked hot out there, the perishables weren't going to last for long. Plucking up the courage, I opened my door, took a deep breath and ran to the end of my street. There was no one else outside thankfully and when I stopped to pick up the shopping, I couldn't help but pause for a moment and enjoy the feel of the sun on my skin. Just as quickly as the feeling of enjoyment passed through me, my mind thought of the dangers of being out in the sun and out here where Coronavirus was still rife. I panicked, picked up the shopping and went running back to the house when all of a sudden I felt something hit me in the face with enough force to send me falling to the ground. As I looked around, I could see or hear nothing that caused the impact so I pushed myself up off of the floor and ran in with the shopping. That evening, I found myself in bed again with the worst migraine I'd ever experienced. The aching seemed to reach every muscle in my body, and on top of that, I had a fever. I kept the room in complete darkness and tried to find sleep.
The pain lasted a whole week before it started to alleviate. Whatever it was had left me weak and I'd lost a little bit of weight due to not being able to eat much at all. A voice in my mind suggested that I should go outside, that I should feel the sun against my skin just like last time. It was the first time my inner dialogue had ever gone that way, it usually agreed with me that outside was a dangerous place and should be avoided. As the week progressed, that voice grew louder. On top of that, things didn't seem right with me and I started to notice some odd occurrences. I'd be laying down, getting ready for bed when I felt something rub against my private parts. I looked underneath the blanket, but nothing was there. Turning my attention back to the television, I tried to distract myself, but the sensation of being touched down there would happen again, but when I looked, there was nothing there. After an hour of this, I found myself getting hot and bothered. This foreign sensation of being touched there was starting to feel good, and the voice in my head spoke. 'Go ahead, stroke yourself' The only problem was that it wasn't my voice that I heard.
The first night passed and I somehow managed to resist the voice tempting me to touch myself. With the way my mind worked, and the way my parents had raised me in such a prudish manner, I had never actually learned about how to masturbate. People I had known had spoken about it, but I had always felt incredibly uncomfortable when the subject came up in conversation. The idea repulsed me and because of how I had been raised it felt wrong. That was why I didn't give in to the voice inside my head last night, no matter how good the phantom touches felt down there.
That evening, the same thing happened again. I wondered if I'd finally snapped, had being left housebound with no interaction with the outside world been enough to break my mind? The voice felt stronger this evening, and the sensations were much more intense. I tried resisting, laying there on my back with my eyes closed, trying but failing to ignore the amazing sensations I was feeling down there. A musky scent filled the air, and I noticed that my skin was glistening in between my legs from the juices leaking. Taste yourself. There was that voice again, somewhat stronger and deeper than before. The temptation was stronger than before, and I questioned my sanity as curiosity overwhelmed me and I gave in to the voice inside my mind. Tracing a finger in between my legs, I felt a tingle like a small electric shock pass through my body, though it felt good. As the finger met my lips, I was struck by how sweet I tasted, and from then on, I couldn't stop. The voice gently growled in my mind, guiding me as I stroked myself slowly. The sensation was overwhelming and I couldn't help but close my eyes as pleasure flowed through me.
The next thing I knew, I was outside halfway down my street, and I was completely naked. Instinctively I threw up an arm to cover my breasts and covered my vagina with the other, thankful that the street lights had already switched off. The worrying thing was that meant it must be at least one in the morning, and last I knew, it was ten in the evening and I was laying in my bed touching myself. The voice had disappeared for now, but there was a throbbing ache in between my legs, an ache that demanded to be touched some more. Had I been touching myself out here in the middle of the street? Had anyone seen me? I ran back inside, my heart pounding. My door was wide open and I hoped nobody had walked in. That throbbing ache to be touched increased, not just in between my legs but also in my breasts. If it wasn't for the panic I felt at what had just happened, I would have given in to that ache, but the panic was sharpening my focus. When I was sure that no one had broken into my home and that I was alone, relief flooded my mind and I suddenly felt incredibly tired. Checking the locks on the front door one more time, I went back upstairs to my bed and drifted off to a peaceful sleep almost the moment my head hit the pillow.
Waking up the next morning, something felt different. For the first time in so many years, I felt good. It felt like the sleep I had fully refreshed me. The scent of my arousal filled the air, and when I checked, I was wet down there once again. The ache wasn't so bad right now, but the temptation was there. However, for the first time in ages, I felt like it was going to be a productive day. There were no worries on my mind, especially no irrational ones. I left the house and decided to go for a walk, enjoying the feel of the sun against my skin. It was beautiful on the outskirts of town with walks across the countryside and along the river. I spotted other people, and instead of cowering and hiding, I waved and wished them a good morning. Something had changed inside me, that much was worryingly clear, but physically and mentally, I felt amazing.
