Walking down the rainy streets of New York on a gray bastard of a January day Brian pulled the zipper of his army surplus jacket up as high as it could go. His friend Photo just lets the water be absorbed by his mop of brown hair.
It seemed like forever until the light turned red and they could walk across the street. The rain started to sting their faces as it transformed into hail.
They had just raided the used book store by the pizzeria and had made some great finds. All of them double bagged against the prying fingers of the invasive and spiteful rain. He'd feel like crap if a forty year old hard cover was going to be ruined on his watch. And all the while he could see her smile and the way her nose would twitch up. She was the sort of girl who smiled with her whole being. And picturing it made the hurt inside of him even worse.
"You are thinking of her even now. Aren't you?" Photo blurted out interrupting Brian from an imagined kiss.
"I don't know. Why? I am thirty; I should not be getting crushes on girls. But I did and this time it was hard. There is something about her. In anthro class I would picture her dressed as an Aztec princess and we would be making love on top of some ancient alter. I'd turn us so we would both face the rising sun to bless our union, and yet I could still see her smiling face, golden in those first moments. It's like I was outside of myself.
"Ziggurat? Is that what you mean? The one with the big ass and pretty smile? Not the building but the girl. Yeah I could see that, course Shelia would kick your ass. Told you not to make a marriage with no red headed goddess," Photo said not even having the decency to wipe the rain off his aviator glasses.
They ducked into a doorway to light up. Brian to be sure loved his wife, it was that there was something about Emily. Snatches of love songs played through his head. He actually felt hurt when she did not come to class one day. Oddly enough the whole term they might have talked three or four times. He pictured in his soul's eye another kiss as his hands encircled her waist pulling her closer it was the holidays and they were home together...then Photo coughed as he lit his blunt.
"Trouble is you are not wrong, if you feel like that, like an emotional connection, especially when you barely know her, it's because she's a reflection."
Brian knew enough to take a drag before asking him what he had meant, all the while part of him was still thinking of her. It was the only thing he could do to make that guilty hole in his spirit feel better, even if it was for a moment.
