The Adventures Of The Head

Okay, I was horny. Might as well get that out into the open and admit it. Big letters. I WAS HORNY. I was wearing jeans without panties and that little square where all sections met was rubbing my pussy and creating cum soup. This didn't help because I had other classes to attend and whenever I sat down, I smelled my juices and wondered if anyone else did. It also didn't help because I wanted to stick my finger in my hole and make it cum stew!

It was late afternoon when I found myself strolling across the green, trying to ignore the other people who obviously had a life. This was the part of college that I hated because it was so much like high school. Happy boys and happy girls on the playground at recess. I growled to myself and headed for the Student Union building and its connecting bar, appropriately called, The Library.

I selected a table near the busy kitchen, knowing that I'd be left alone, ordered a tall mug and yanked my PoliSci book from my backpack. Test on Friday. Today was Wednesday and I hadn't read most of the assigned reading.

Crap! I hate college!

"You shouldn't." I heard a voice say. "It's good for your brain and you need all the help you can get!"

I looked up, expecting to find some snotty-nosed freshman standing there and found no one.

That's funny.

I thought for a moment. I hadn't said those words out loud, either.

"No, you didn't, but I still heard you."

I started looking for a microphone or something, convinced that this was some behavioral science experiment gone awry. I found nothing under the table, attached to the chair or hovering above my head. I sat back down, slugged back some beer and opened my textbook.

"Would you mind picking me up?"

I looked around again and finding myself still alone, decided on a different tack.

Where am I supposed to pick you up from?

"Behind your chair, in the corner."

I whirled around, looking down into the dark corner, moving the chair aside. Hidden in the dark shadows was an object about the size of a small basketball. I reached down to pick it up and nearly screamed as something like warm flesh touched my fingers.

"Come on! Pick me up!"

What the hell are you?

I thought, still looking down at it.

"A head. Now will you pick me up? My name's not Wilson and I'm tired of being kicked around like a soccer ball."

I bent down and picked the object up. It was, indeed, a head. It had dark brown hair, hazel-green eyes and full lips that were coated with sawdust from the floor. I held it away from my body, gingerly examining it for signs of blood or other fluids. The flesh was warm and smooth, just like regular skin and the eyes, nostrils and mouth were moist.

But a head couldn't exist without the body, could it?

"Yes, it can." Startled by the sudden response, I dropped the head and heard a shout of pain. "Goddamn it, that hurt!"

"Okay." I said to myself. "I'm losing my mind. Too many finals, too much studying and not enough beer." I dashed to the bar, ordered a shot of tequila, which I quickly downed and a refill for my beer. I pulled the chair out and sat down again, nudging the head with my foot away as I got comfortable.

"Hey! Don't fucking kick me! Pick me up!"

Okay. I'm insane.

I reached down, picked up the head and looked at it again. This time, I saw the eyes roll, focusing on me and the lips moved, trying to clear the sawdust away. Startled again, the head slipped from my hands, bounced on the floor and rolled by the side wall. I heard another shout. Without waiting to hear the response, I picked the head up again, setting it on my lap and watching in petrified fascination as the eyes once again focused on me and the lips fought to clean themselves.

"Geez, what the fuck is your problem?"

"

My

problem?" I laughed. "I've lost

my

fucking mind! That's what my problem is!"

"Well, damn it, don't drop me again! The floor hurts, you know!"

I was in the Twilight Zone, right? Sure. I was sitting in the middle of a busy bar with a head in my lap and no one seemed to notice. I took a chance and lifted the head onto the table, setting it on the flat neck stump. The eyes rotated to me, the lips pursing angrily.

"Did you have to drop me so many times?"

"What the fuck are you?"

"A head, duh!" It paused, spitting out a wad of sawdust. "Two eyes, a nose, ears, mouth, etc."

"Where's your body?"

"Don't have one. What you see is what you get."

"Cute."

The long eyelashes batted coquettishly. "You think so?"

I had had enough of this byplay. "Look, don't you know that you have to have a body?"

"Says who?"

I shoved my PoliSci book and notebook into my backpack and swallowed the rest of the beer. "Have a nice day."

"Wait! You're just going to leave me?"

"I'm certainly not going to take you with me."

"Why not?"

"Because you're a head!"

"So?"

I don't know what was wrong with me. I figured that I was suffering some psychological breakdown and I wanted to get back to my room to suffer in silence. The head's eyes glared at me.

"So ... someone else will take care of you!"

"No one else can hear me except you."

"This is bullshit!" Now I knew how Jimmy Stewart had felt in that movie about the invisible rabbit.

"No, it's not. I've been waiting for you."

I flung myself back down in the chair, taking a deep breath. "So what the fuck do you want?"

"Take me home with you."

"No."

"You have to."

"No, I don't! Goodbye!"

I went to my dorm room, spent an uneventful night watching TV and trying to study. It wasn't working. I logged onto the computer and spent a few more uneventful hours reading some porn, my fingers stroking my pussy but I couldn't seem to get off. Since I had an early class, I decided to call it a night and settled in to sleep. Of course, I didn't get any of that, either. Shortly after midnight, there was a knock on my door. I thought to ignore it but when it was louder the second time, I resigned myself to answering it.

The head sat in the middle of my coconut husk mat, frowning in anger.

"You know how long it took me to get here?"

I couldn't stand it any more. "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee ... "

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Praying. I'm crazy. I know it. I'm crazy!"

"You're not crazy!" The head huffed in frustration. "Would you let me in? Maybe I can explain things to you."

"You'll never be able to explain things to me."

"Will you at least let me try?"

"Whatever. I'll be in the mental ward in the morning." I numbly watched as the appendage bounced in, immediately finding itself a place on the couch. It looked around, taking in the surroundings, then locked eyes with me. I grabbed my friend Pete's bottle of Jim Beam and took a healthy swig, staring at it.

"Well, let me begin." It moved to the front of the cushion. "My name is Samdu and I'm not from this planet. I'm here because your father brought me here."

"Now I know I'm crazy! My dad died 8 years ago."

"I know. He lives on my planet in complete happiness. He sent me to make sure that you were happy."

I took another huge swig. "Right, and I'm Madonna."

The head looked at me strangely. "No, you're not Madonna. You are Allison Brentwood, age 22. Your father's name is Joseph Brentwood, called Micah, for his middle name."

"How ... how could you know that?"

"Because he told me! How the hell would you think I'd know?" The head rolled its eyes. "Obviously, Micah shouldn't have left so soon without making sure that you were okay."

"What about Momma? He didn't care about her?"

"No. He told me that she was a first-class bitch and was having an affair with Turner Fordham." That was the piece of shit that broke the camel's back. Her mother, Donna, was indeed seeing Turner. Marriage had even been mentioned. That's why Allison was so happy to be out of the house. "Am I right?"

"Anyone could have known that."

"Maybe, but could anyone have known that your mother has a tattoo with his name on the left cheek of her butt?"

I answered the question in my head.

Nope.

Momma had just gotten it last week and had shown it to her on a weekend visit. "Oh, God."

"Now don't go off the deep end. Micah was worried that you were still alone, that you hadn't found a boyfriend."

"He's right. I haven't found a boyfriend, Samdu. I don't have time."

'What about sex? When was the last time you had sex?"

I couldn't help laughing. I took another generous swig of liquor to get rid of the nervousness. Things were making sense. I thought about Jodie Foster in

Contact

, wondering if her character had felt the same thing. Sort of making sense, but not really. Something you just had to accept? "Can't remember." I burped, hot and alcoholy. "Or should I say, I don't want to remember."

Samdu smiled. "That's what I'm here for. Okay, let's get down to business. Take me to your bedroom."

"What?"

"You heard me. And make sure you lock the door and turn the lights out."

"Okay,

Dad

."

The head laughed. "That

was

from your Dad. He says that the only light you're allowed to leave on it the night light."

I laughed. That was my old Dad. "All right." I hefted the head in my hands, not feeling strange about its weight or warmth any longer. I giggled as I tossed it on the bed and Samdu glared at me as he righted himself.

"Ha ha. Real funny."

"Sorry."

"Take off your pajamas off."

"What? No way!"

"Allison ... "

"There is no way that I'm going to take my pajamas off!"

"If I had a body, I'd force you to."

I stared at the head. "You'd

force

me?"

"Yep."

"What if I said no?"

"I'd ignore it. I'm working on orders from your father." Samdu smiled. "And if you remember your father, you'd know that he's not one to cross. Now, take the pajamas off."

I'd had too much Jim Beam to be coherent. That was it. That was the reason that I did as the head asked, pulling my pajamas over my head and sitting nakedly on the bed. Did I say how strange I felt? No?

"Not bad. You've got a nice body. We can work with that."

"

We

can work with it? What's that mean?"

"Lay back and close your eyes."

"No."

"Allison, don't make me beg."

"Listen, Shamu, or whatever your name is, I'm naked, sitting on my bed, talking to a head. Isn't that enough for you?"

"No, but I promise that if you lie back and close your eyes like I asked, you'll enjoy it." I started to lay back. "Oh, and legs open as wide as possible."

"What?"

"Please."

"Oh, all right, but whatever you're going to do, make it snappy. I've got an 8:00 class."

"Thank you, Allison."

I lie back on the bed, spread my legs and closed my eyes. For a few long moments, nothing happened. Then I felt the faintest of breaths on her thigh, followed by the warmth of the head as it moved between the wedge of my legs. "What the hell are you doing?"

Samdu smiled again. "Please, Allison. I guarantee that you will not be displeased when I finish. Lie back and close your eyes."

I just stared at him for a few minutes, wondering what the hell was going on, but the Beam got the best of me and I reclined, again closing my eyes. Again, nothing happened, then ... "Oh, God!" The head's tongue stroked my sleeping slit into wide-eyed wakefulness. It was the most exquisite feeling that I've ever felt. My asshole clenched along with my pussy in a blissful spasm.

The breath left my lungs in a rush as Samdu's long tongue basted every inch he could see, then slid inside, tickling places I'd never known existed and making me cum harder than I ever had.

I passed out.

Samdu awoke me a few minutes later, his face covered with my pussy juice. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I just ... " I just what? I just came six times in rapid-fire succession and passed out. "That was great."

"Want more? I can go all night."

"Can you really?"

"Yeah! And you can hold my ears like handles and guide me just where you want."

I thought about that for a moment. "That sounds good." I propped myself up against the headboard, put a pillow behind my back and spread my legs, grasping Samdu by the ears. His tongue came out again and he molded it into a spear, letting me grind against it, pressing his nose against my swollen clit. I came with a shudder, nearly releasing him in the process but I held on, quivering through the aftershocks.

"Let me tongue fuck you."

"How can we do that?"

"Put me on top of the headboard and back that pretty ass up." It took me less than ten seconds to set him on the headboard's compartmented top and to back into his thick, spear-like tongue. He slid easily into my slick hole and I shivered at the sensation. Moving my legs farther apart and rocking slightly, I found my magic spot and rubbed his tongue against it, speeding up a little. Oh, it was so good! I just don't have the words to describe the multiple mini-orgasms that I had, leading up to the mother of them all. As I came, I grabbed the head and ground my pussy into his face. It was several moments before I recovered and got up off of him.

"Sorry."

"It's okay." Samdu gave me a sexy smile. "I'm a good swimmer."

I collapsed beside him, pushing under the covers as sleep and Jim Beam steadily crept up on me. My pussy was still quivering with the workout but I just closed my eyes in absolute pleasure. "I feel so good."

"That was the idea." I felt his soft lips on my temple. "Just wait until I get a body ... "

I wasn't thinking about that, I smiled sleepily to myself. I was thinking about how late I'd be for class in the morning, especially since I was now not planning to go.