The Night Before the Third Moon of Summer, in the 113th Year Before
Ticker the doorman leaned back against the door, stretched, and let out a truly apocalyptic yawn. Damn it, Crayl.
He wasnât meant to be here, lingering at a quarter past midnight in the windowless entrance room of an abandoned church. He was supposed to be over in the next room, sleeping comfortably at a quarter past midnight in the windowless hallway of an abandoned church.
Instead, here he was, pulling double shifts. All because Crayl, that idiot, hadnât made it back tonight with the key. Probably lying drunk in some pretty maidâs arms. That man never seemed to take any task seriously. Not even when it came directly from the Cloistermagi and concerned the fate of the whole town, apparently.
Of course, it was easy to get complacent. It had been long years since the Horny War. Most folk around here had never seen so much as an imp before, let alone something like what they guarded.
âDamn it,â he managed, through another uncontrolled yawn. He held the lantern further away from him. The lantern was of peculiar craftâteardrop-shaped, with a three-paned lens tinted a pale orange. The light it shed made it feel like the golden hours, only worsening his fatigue.
Of course, its effect on him was nothing compared to the effect someone else would have to worry about if they triedâ
A screeching cacophony like stone under a sawblade howled against the walls around him, nearly knocking him over with sheer surprise. A muffled shout sounded just beneath the commotion.
Ticker whirled around, raising the lantern. That had come from inside the building!
âSep!â he shouted. âJesz, Sep, you alright?â
Silence. One, two, three seconds.
just as Ticker was about to run down to investigate, Jeszâs voice rose, ringing with clear calm. âSorry! Lost control of my sword, is all. Everythingâs fine!â
Ticker stared dubiously into the orange-tinged darkness.
âAlright, just be careful!â he called. âDamn near gave my heart away, lass.â
A sheepish laugh. âSorry, Ticker.â
Ticker laughed, too.
He reached down and slowly, carefully took off first one boot, then the other. He set both to the side. Now in his stockings, he took the door of the lantern and closed it as quietly as possible.
He padded down the hall, pointing his lens away from him so as to disguise the light.
Jesz and Sep were good people, dedicated to the cause. But they werenât professionals. They and Crayl were just the townâs summer constables, friendly locals eager to lend a hand. There was a reason Ticker was holding the bedroom lantern tonight.
He leaned around the corner and squinted down the hall. He could make out two shapes cluttering the sightlineâperhaps two unconscious or subdued figures. Or dead ones.
There was also what almost looked like a great hole in the wall to the right. But that couldnât be right, right?
A short, feminine figure stood leaning against the far wall, facing him down.
Tickerâs heart gave a lurch. Mindweaver.
He leaned back behind cover, taking a deep breath to steady himself. He might only get one chance at this. The guard reached down and quietly unshuttered the lantern.
The doorman spun around the corner with a shout. He flashed the lanternâs brilliant sunset light down the hallway, eyes closed tight.
The lantern pulsed with heat in his hands, only a fraction of the mindless, dizzying heat that would be suffusing the minds of every sighted creature in the hall at that moment.
After a moment, the heat ebbed. He didnât unshutter the lantern, but he did open his eyes. He stared for a moment, slowly registering the scene.
âDamn.â
There was a hole in the wallâa perfect rectangle cut away, as though for a doorway. The cut-out section of wall had hit the ground noiselessly, and that was one of the shadows heâd mistaken for a prone figure.
The other prone shape was Sep, sound asleep.
And the standing figureâŚ
Propped against the wall was Jesz. The goblin maidâs eyes were wide and pulsing with pink circles that fell endlessly into one another, her tongue lolling, as she desperately stroked beneath her skirt. Her sword was, indeed, on the ground, about as far from her control as it could get. Judging by the way her eyelids drooped, the lantern hadnât much helped.
Instinct took over. Ticker rushed forward, hissing in frustration, and whirled on the hole in the wall. He did a double-take as he realized it led not into the street, but into⌠damn it, was the old church connected to that little bakery down the road? Someone should have told them that when they were laying the wards!
The bedroom lantern was already pulsing its power into the bakery, and this time Ticker didnât close his eyesâhe couldnât afford that risk. Some slight dizziness overtook him, but it was only passing; he was trained for it.
What he wasnât trained for was finding cute pastry chefs tied up and kneeling back against display racks, big, dumb, eager smiles on their faces as they gazed up at him. There was no one else in the bakery. The Monastery guards hadnât gotten around to that scenario in training.
Not except for the basic concept of a honey trap. He braced to turn back the way heâd come, to
run
back to the front door.
From behind, from where heâd just come, someone planted a light, delicate kiss on the back of his neck.
Instant dizziness overtook him. His thoughts washed and sloshed in his head, and only barely could he manage the effort of turning around.
A beautiful red-haired woman with cherry-red lips and beautiful stormcloud eyes smirked at him, twirling a familiar key around her finger.
He tried to raise the lantern. Tried to speak, to shout a warning, toâŚ
The woman leaned inâher hand grasping his, taking the lantern from him with no effort, closing its shutterâand plumped her luscious lips out for a kiss.
Damn it, Crayl, was his last thought, as those lips met his.
~ ~ ~ ~
Vivi smirked down at the last guardsman as he fell to the ground. Heâd been her biggest concern, but it turned out he was still just as stupid as the rest of the lambs. People liked to believe in their own cleverness. Let someone think they were smarter than you and they would positively
volunteer
to give themselves away.