By Denham Forrest, writing as Misnomer Jones
There is no blatant sex in this story!
Capitulus II
When I spoke to him the next morning, Doug informed me that Rose had tried to feed him the same sort of ridiculous diatribe as Sylvia had tried to lay-on me. We kind-a wondered where those strange ideas had come from. It sounded like complete... twaddle, to Doug and myself. And, all rather too carefully thought out, for either Sylvia and Rose; to our way of thinking. To put it succinctly, it sounded a little too much like 'joined-up-writing' for either of our wives to have come up with it.
Sorry, but one has to call a spade a spade, and both Doug and I would be the first to admit that neither of our wives were the smartest apples in the box. Oh come on, they were both extremely attractive women... had they been just a little more... er, fully equipped in the mental capacity department. Then they surely would have picked up a couple of guys with a lot more of the readies than either Douglas or I had in the bank.
Mind you, it soon became apparent that Doug had been far angrier the evening before than I had. By all accounts -- actually we had heard noises that had pre-confirmed the fact -- he had resorted to tanning Rose's backside for her. Somewhat surprisingly Rose didn't appear to have been too... er put-out, by the experience either. It certainly surprised me some, that those two could be so... kinky.
However, whatever had happened the night before, it didn't stop Rose from informing us that she was joining Sylvia and the four goons, who were going down to the beach for a swim, shortly after Adona and his crew returned the following day.
This news took Doug and me by surprise and we could only conclude that such arrangements had to have been made the day before.
"Funny," we thought, "how neither Rose nor Sylvia had thought it necessary to mention those plans whilst our mutual altercations had been in progress the night before." But then again... on reflection, I don't suppose it was.
While we walked down to the beach... -- Christ, you didn't think Doug and I would let the girls go with those freaks without us, did you? -- Adona informed me that it would be at least a week -- or so -- before the boffins discovered what had really gone wrong with their time calculations and then make the necessary adjustments to their equipment so they could send us back to the right point in time. Not that I believed much of his explanation or anything much else the bugger said by then.
Although, Douglas seemed to be swallowing every word the History guy told him. Well, it looked like Douglas was, from where I was standing.
Look, I'm reading between the lines here. I have no idea why, but I got the impression that -- if they wanted too -- Adona and his cronies could have sent us back to our own time almost immediately. But by their accounts, the machine they'd used consumed copious quantities of power. It appeared -- or so they claimed -- that they didn't want to run the thing up again, until they were ready to bring the professor Pemberton guy forward in time in the same session. Adona said something about recharging the capacitors, or something stupid like that, anyway. Whatever, that was the impression that I got, or maybe it was the one that I was supposed to get. I told you, I was getting more distrustful of these guys by the minute.
You know, I had it figured, Adona must have come from a long line of politicians. And like all the politicians of today, it didn't matter what he said, I somehow knew it was all a web of half-truths and outright lies; designed to ensure that whatever he wanted (or needed) to happen, would happen. Whether that outcome was to our (Sylvia, Rose, Douglas and my own) advantage or not!
At the same time as Adona was feeding me all this sh... yeah well. I was pumping Adona -- well attempting to --, trying to discover as much as I could about why we'd been brought to that time. Doug was also trying to extract information from the historian guy about why they wanted Pemberton. I learnt almost nothing, but Doug kind-of got the impression that they wanted to talk the professor out of inventing something.
"I think they daren't just kill him, because of what we were talking about earlier." Doug told me later, "You never know, he could well be an ancestor of half these people, much as you and I are likely to be. Hey, five kids; you and Sylvy must have really have got your act together once we get back."
"And you and Rose?" I asked.
"Three, according to the professor. He wouldn't go into details; I don't think he intended to tell me that you fathered five children in the first place. Apparently you, or your descendants anyway, are very important and they are shitting themselves on the quiet to get you back home in one piece. Me, not so much, but they are worried about my offspring as well."
"They seem to know a lot more than they are saying about us and our time, Doug. Did he give any hint as to why all this happened? Something flattened the World as we know it, and killed off all the animals."
"Yeah - we did! A nuclear holocaust sort of catastrophe, he's being a little vague about exactly what though. Years after our time anyway... five hundred years at least. Could be much more, for some reason these guys are a little... uninformative about actual dates, can't work out why though. Anyway, religious or ideological wars by the sound of it... He weren't too clear about that either. Whatever after they blew themselves to bits they resorted to chemical and biological warfare, I think. That led to a sort of 'dark ages' again, and it's taken them the last couple of thousand years or so, to clean everything up. Apparently they are still at-it in some places. There's only about fifty million people left on the whole damned planet now. All ruled by a sort of 'Big Brother' come 'Living God' type character. Seems a magnanimous type though, everyone appears to be happy about it, anyway."
"But these guys might be his henchman, Douglas. You know, on the inside!"
"That's a point, we might only be seeing one side of the coin."
"I'm not sure I like this side." I said, gesturing to the four guys cavorting around in the surf, with our wives.
"Me neither. But probably we'll get a better idea about what's what, when we get to the city."
"They're taking us somewhere else?"
"I got the feeling that they don't want to, but they are worried about our safety out here. But then again, maybe that's the impression I'm supposed to get. Apparently, there are some not very nice wild animals kicking around out there somewhere. Not many, from what I gather; but enough for them to be worried about. And of course, there's the logistics problem; keeping us fed and watered out here."
About then Doug and I decided that it was time for us to go into the water for a while as well. Maybe we thought that those guys were getting a little too familiar with the girls again.
Maybe it was all an act, but one thing we had noticed, was that the four tossers -- for all their apparent machismo -- well they didn't appear to be able to swim very well at all. This is supposition, but they appeared very conscious of not going out of their depth. We -- or at least I -- had noticed their confusion when the four of us had taken our surfboards along with us; it was obvious they had little idea about what they were used for either. To be honest the idea of swimming in the sea appeared to be quite novel to them.
I'll admit that at first I had taken that with a pinch of salt and thought it had been a come-on where the girls were concerned. But seeing them in the water... well I been forced to revise that assumption. There was no doubt that the breakers scared them for a while at least. That is until they had begun to gain some confidence, from Sylvia and Rose's attitude. It was then that Doug and I figured we'd better get in the water a bit sharpish-like ourselves.
Once the girls got out into the good waves with Doug and I, they seemed to forget about the other four guys completely. Those four might have been gaining some confidence, but they still weren't enamoured with the idea of being out of their depth. Later, one of the big guys did try to surf under Rose's instruction. But Doug and I had to rescue the sod, when he got caught in a rip. After that happened, the four strangers retired to the safety of the shallows again.
"You noticed the others?" Doug asked when we were sitting on our boards together some way out, waiting to pick up on a good one.
"What others?" I asked.