By The Wanderer, (writing as Misnomer Jones)
For those British readers who recognise the title from somewhere in your youth, welcome friend. Hail the mighty Eagle!
The inspiration for this tale came from "Time Out" a short story written a long time ago by my favourite author John Wyndham. It was John Wyndham's works that opened my eyes to the written word when I was but a child. Very soon after I found my first tale of his, I was reading anything and everything he had written that I could lay my hands on, under various pen names.
The beginning of my tale here lifts some of John Wyndham's "Time Out" plot and plot devices; but is much longer and ends somewhat differently. Where "Time Out" was a short story, "Tempus Frangit" is more of a novella. Maybe I should also point out, although the setting for the yarn's start is way back in the 1980s, the story it is being related to the reader many years later.
Clarification:- Jacksie = a persons bottom. Curtilage = the area of land attached to a house and forming one enclosure with it. Pleb = member of the lower social classes.
In southern England, the "English Channel" or "Le Manche" (as our French neighbours prefer to refer to it) is generally referred to simply as "The Channel". The "Bristol Channel" divides the South-Western Peninsula of England from Wales.
Tempus Frangit
Capitulus I
Suddenly, I was struggling into consciousness. I'm not one to wake quickly at the best of times. All I was aware of, was, that something had stirred me. I had no idea of exactly what; just that something had disturbed my slumber.
Then I became aware of my wife's voice from beside me -- I do believe possibly accompanied by an elbow jabbed in my ribs -- demanding, "What?"
"What?" I echoed in return.
"Well, really!" Sylvia added.
Still not fully awake, I had no idea of what was going on, or why Sylvia had woken me. It certainly wasn't for any... er fun and games. We were way past that stage in our... er relationship. You know, for Sylvia to wake me at all times of the day or night just to tell me, or prove that she still loved me. Or, because she was overcome by the sudden urgent need to... Yeah, lets leave that subject, shall we? Sylvia and I had been married for about ten years by then, and the "youthful exuberance" had long left our marriage bed.
Where was I? Oh yes, I was just struggling back into full consciousness, wasn't I?
Hey yeah, you have no idea what an apt question that is going to turn out to be.
Christ, stop wandering all over the place, George, and get on with the story, or we'll be here all bloody night.
"What do you want?" Sylvia demanded.
Right, there I was, lying in the pitch dark -- the moon was not due to rise until just before dawn that night -- trying to come to terms with the fact that Sylvia had woken me to demand that I explain why I had woken her up. Yeah well, that was about the gist of the situation, I think.
"Sylvia, I didn't wake you!"
"You did!"
"No I didn't; you just woke me!"
"You must have... Well, something woke me, it must have been you! Didn't you just go to the bathroom?"
"No, Sylvia. I'm not at the age where I have to run to the bathroom in the middle of the night, just yet!"
"You did last Friday night."
"So did you, Sylvia. And I believe that had more to do with whatever we were eating at the Drury's party, than the quantity of alcohol we had consumed. I hate all that foreign food they dish up."
"Yes, very iffy wasn't it. I wonder if any of the other guests had the midnight runs?"
"Not something I care to discuss in the middle of the night, Sylvia. Now, why did you wake me?"
"I didn't, but something woke me. The bed shook, or there was a loud noise... or something. Do you think we've got burglars?"
"Sylvia, we live in the middle of bloody nowhere. Unless you think one of the holidaymakers is going to come all this way, just to rob the people across the road. How would a burglar find his way here anyway? Besides we've got sod-all worth stealing."
"There's the car... and the TV."
"The car's only got three wheels on it, Sylvia! You know that Doug and I didn't finish fitting the new brake calliper, because of the rain yesterday afternoon. And who the hell would want that bleeding old telly of ours. 'bout time we bought one of those Trinitron do-what's-its anyway; they're supposed to be much smaller for the size of the screen. Besides, it would take two people to carry the bugger we've got at the minute."
"Well, you wanted the big screen TV in the first place; I hardly ever watch it."
"No, only every damned soap opera that is ever on, and all the damned repeats."
"Well, I have to..."
"Yes, Sylvia, and I'm not complaining about what you watch on the television. But can I get back to sleep now, please? I have to get the car finished tomorrow so that I can get to work on Monday."
"Well, no. Something woke me and if it wasn't you..."
"It was probably distant thunder, Sylvia. It was very close last evening... still is actually. Those rain clouds probably developed into a thunderstorm inland somewhere."
"Or, I suppose it might have been Concorde, of course." Sylvia ventured.
"Sylvia, Concorde, doesn't make sonic booms around here at this time of night. It flies down the Bristol Channel during the afternoon."