He had agreed to join the mission, even under these conditions, because it offered a better alternative than staying on earth. The cryosleep spots were limited and only the best and brightest were even considered. The colony would be a genetic masterpiece. His genetic makeup and limited educational background had left him far outside the qualifications for those slots, but this position had seemed like a part of the mission, like a chance. He served as the caretaker and pilot, watching over the ship and its frozen passengers as it escaped earth to Tau Ceti.
Despite being alone, he never felt lonely. He had been a loner most of his young life, so it felt normal to him. The computer system provided any reading material, movies, television shows, pornography, games or other entertainment that he desired. The vast system of multiply redundant solid-state drives that filled most of the ship stored the whole of human knowledge. The AI provided nearly perfect interaction. Chess, checkers, gin, bridge, RPG's, anything he ever wanted to play; all scaled to challenge but not discourage him. It could even create plays and musical performances based on the style and ability of artists from the past.
The AI provided multiple personae for him to interact with. The programmers and psychologists had designed a few specifically for him, but over time the AI developed new ones as needed. His initial briefing on the AI contained a gentle indication from the psychology team that one of the personae, or more, might become a lover. The computer interacted with the plethora of sex toys supplied and the pornography to simulate sex.
He had seen her on the first day as they had walked him through the ship. The techs had been quiet. He suspected some felt jealous of him. Others likely believed they were sending him into exile from all humanity, or worse, sending him to his death. His first view of her came as they passed through the cryosleep chamber. Her lovely naked body carefully suspended in the liquid nitrogen that ensured her preservation for the next 75 years. She would emerge not a day older than she had entered. The passengers were all naked. Objectively, all the women were beautiful. He could even appreciate the beauty of the men. But somehow, she caught his eye.
He resisted, of course, at first. The AI and the interactive porn the AI could create satisfied him, mostly. During the first year he would, occasionally, go sneak a peek at her. His duties included monitoring the cryo-chamber. He peeked at others too, but she was the one.
He finally decided it didn't matter. He still remembered the first time he masturbated to her. He saw her again and stood there drinking in her perfect naked form. His passion rising, he retreated to his bunk. He imagined her there with him. Their arms wrapped around each other. He pretended their long, slow kisses gave way to him taking her. He imagined her on her back and the sensation of her legs wrapping around him as he slid his cock into her pussy. He simulated slowly fucking her as he imagined her professing her love and him his. He came hard that first time. His 23-year-old body and libido were strong and virile.
He tried to learn her name, but the AI never let him. Perhaps the programmers foresaw this possibility, perhaps the AI understood him in ways he did not. So, he called her Mary. For the first couple years, he would only masturbate in the privacy of his room. It seems that old habits and norms die hard. He finally realized there was no need for 'privacy.' From then on, he would go to the cryo-chamber and stare at her body as he fucked her in his mind.
Sometimes he felt guilty. Other times the longing for her touch and voice made it too difficult. He would stop going to see her and stop masturbating with her or imagining her. He would use the AI. Sometimes for a year, even longer. But each time, he eventually returned to her.
Somewhere in all those years, he started talking to her. He told her all about his life. He would speak out loud and tell her his thoughts. He would tell her how he imagined her mouth around his throbbing cock as his cum erupted all over his hand. He would tell her how he would fuck her ass as he came inside the tight toy that simulated anal. He would whisper how much he loved her while slowly stroking himself to thoughts of making slow sweet love to each other.
With each passing year his love for Mary grew deeper and deeper. But he grew older too, and she never did, although it took some time before he really noticed that. Even as he approached and passed the age of 60, he didn't see it as odd to imagine having sex with her. She, of course, remained in her 20's, perhaps 22, like he had been at the beginning. In many ways he felt like he never aged either, although his libido slowed. His masturbatory sessions originally occurred every day or more, but eventually slowed to once a week and then even less. But the conversations, as one-sided as they were, became longer. He told her about books he read, the movies he watched, the long strategy games he played. He would even describe the porn he watched. He shared all of himself with her. Conversation replaced the passionate mind fucking.
He told her all about the things he learned. Over the years he completed the equivalent of four Ph.D.'s: two in science fields, one in sociology, and one in comparative religion. He turned to religion late, in an effort to understand himself and his place in the universe. Perhaps more, to understand a god who would destroy earth and all of humanity, except the ones housed here. The last vestiges of humanity.
This morning, as they approached Tau Ceti, the AI gently announced the imminent deceleration maneuvers. While acceleration had been gradual over time, to burn off the speed required a very deep approach to the star for a gravity breaking maneuver. Even the course corrections to achieve the right angle used thermonuclear explosions and thus would be violent. The close approach would expose anyone not in a cryosleep freeze tank to both extreme radiation and g-forces.
